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America, Definitely, and Girls: erinSCIF for America @erinscafe An 11-year-old told his class he was thankful that his dads were going to adopt him, and the substitute teacher told him "that's nothing to be thankful for." The three girls who stood up for this boy and went to get the principal are actual heroes. A Utah substitute told 5th graders that 'homosexuality is wrong.' She was escorted out after 3... P sltrib.com erinSCIF for America @erinscafe He "told his dads that he understood what the substitute was saying. D.M. said he didn't speak up, though, because he's had two failed adoptions before and didn't want his dads to rethink their decision, with his final court hearing coming up on Dec. 19." "He was so fearful that this could make us think that we don't want to adopt him," van Amstel said, trying not to cry. "That's definitely not going to happen. But this situation really hurt him. This person really hurt us." erinSCIF for America @erinscafe Like, these girls asked her to stop multiple times and then walked right tf out of class and straight to her boss. The kids are all right. Three girls asked her to stop multiple times. But she continued, so they walked out of the room to get the principal. As the substitute was escorted out of the building, she was still arguing, trying to make her point, the boy's fathers say they were told by school officials. "She also tried to blame our son," said one of the boy's dads, Louis van Amstel, “and told him that it was his fault that she went off." endangered-justice-seeker: One of the most important things you can teach your kids is when and how to say no to authority figures. Off-topic but what odd bowties.
America, Definitely, and Girls: erinSCIF for America
 @erinscafe
 An 11-year-old told his class he was
 thankful that his dads were going to
 adopt him, and the substitute teacher
 told him "that's nothing to be
 thankful for."
 The three girls who stood up for this
 boy and went to get the principal are
 actual heroes.
 A Utah substitute told 5th graders that 'homosexuality
 is wrong.' She was escorted out after 3...
 P sltrib.com

 erinSCIF for America
 @erinscafe
 He "told his dads that he understood
 what the substitute was saying. D.M.
 said he didn't speak up, though,
 because he's had two failed
 adoptions before and didn't want his
 dads to rethink their decision, with his
 final court hearing coming up on Dec.
 19."
 "He was so fearful that this could make us
 think that we don't want to adopt him,"
 van Amstel said, trying not to cry. "That's
 definitely not going to happen. But this
 situation really hurt him. This person
 really hurt us."

 erinSCIF for America
 @erinscafe
 Like, these girls asked her to stop
 multiple times and then walked right
 tf out of class and straight to her
 boss.
 The kids are all right.
 Three girls asked her to stop multiple
 times. But she continued, so they walked
 out of the room to get the principal.
 As the substitute was escorted out of the
 building, she was still arguing, trying to
 make her point, the boy's fathers say they
 were told by school officials.
 "She also tried to blame our son," said one
 of the boy's dads, Louis van Amstel, “and
 told him that it was his fault that she went
 off."
endangered-justice-seeker:


One of the most important things you can teach your kids is when and how to say no to authority figures.




Off-topic but what odd bowties.

endangered-justice-seeker: One of the most important things you can teach your kids is when and how to say no to authority figures. Of...

Bitch, Music, and Tumblr: rock-n-rollin-bitch: Left: Freya’s Tears by Gustav Klimt Right: Florence Welch in Dog Days Are Over music video
Bitch, Music, and Tumblr: rock-n-rollin-bitch:
Left: Freya’s Tears by Gustav Klimt
Right: Florence Welch in Dog Days Are Over music video

rock-n-rollin-bitch: Left: Freya’s Tears by Gustav Klimt Right: Florence Welch in Dog Days Are Over music video

Brains, Dude, and Instagram: MEM A EOS canon Canon EOS yaboybergara: wearewatcher: WATCHER LOG 002:Shane here! With that January 10th launch around the corner, we’re gonna be sharing lil bits that we’ve been keeping secret for the past few months. So here’s a photo of Ryan on the day we bought our first few pieces of gear at a local camera shop. Minutes earlier when we actually checked out at the register we were both filled with a palpable mix of excitement and (completely unjustified) dread, as this was the moment we started spending actual money on a thing that had thus far existed exclusively in our three brains and in Steven’s weird graph paper notebooks that he loves so much.You’re likely thinking, “But Ryan doesn’t look nervous at all here!” And you’re right. Why? They gave us a free hat with the camera, that’s why. Worries evaporate when you get a free hat, and with a renewed sense of creative enthusiasm I asked Ryan to pose like a cinematographer showing off his sick new haul. He looks kinda gassy but otherwise, dude nailed it.Anyway, if you haven’t yet, swing by youtube.com/watcher (link in bio) and peep the channel trailer. And subscribe if you haven’t yet. No harm in that. If you already have? Hey, thanks. Uh, what else? Reduce, reuse, recycle. Don’t litter. Support your local library. Alright. Plenty left for us to do before launch, so it’s about time I hit the dusty trail. Til next time, Watchers! -Shane BONUS:
Brains, Dude, and Instagram: MEM A EOS
 canon
 Canon
 EOS
yaboybergara:

wearewatcher: WATCHER LOG 002:Shane here! With that January 10th launch around the corner, we’re gonna be sharing lil bits that we’ve been keeping secret for the past few months. So here’s a photo of Ryan on the day we bought our first few pieces of gear at a local camera shop. Minutes earlier when we actually checked out at the register we were both filled with a palpable mix of excitement and (completely unjustified) dread, as this was the moment we started spending actual money on a thing that had thus far existed exclusively in our three brains and in Steven’s weird graph paper notebooks that he loves so much.You’re likely thinking, “But Ryan doesn’t look nervous at all here!” And you’re right. Why? They gave us a free hat with the camera, that’s why. Worries evaporate when you get a free hat, and with a renewed sense of creative enthusiasm I asked Ryan to pose like a cinematographer showing off his sick new haul. He looks kinda gassy but otherwise, dude nailed it.Anyway, if you haven’t yet, swing by youtube.com/watcher (link in bio) and peep the channel trailer. And subscribe if you haven’t yet. No harm in that. If you already have? Hey, thanks. Uh, what else? Reduce, reuse, recycle. Don’t litter. Support your local library. Alright. Plenty left for us to do before launch, so it’s about time I hit the dusty trail. Til next time, Watchers! -Shane

BONUS:

yaboybergara: wearewatcher: WATCHER LOG 002:Shane here! With that January 10th launch around the corner, we’re gonna be sharing lil bits th...

Being Alone, Crazy, and Home Alone: The Trevor Moore O @itrevormoore Tmes TREDOR moORE Remember. Kevin McCallister could have phoned the police at any time. He was a child who had accidentally been left alone. One call and he would have been safe. But it was never about safety. He was hunting those men. He wanted them to die. It was fun for him. He enjoyed it. bisexualhennessy: foxyclock: orgyporgy: shittymoviedetails: Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone The movie establishes that the phone lines to the house are down, that’s also why nobody is able to call Kevin at home. The movie also establishes that all of his neighbors are out of town which is why he couldn’t borrow their phones. The movie ALSO BEGINS by introducing the main antagonist as a “police officer” which is why Kevin doesn’t trust the cops. I’m so tired of the ignorance. The slander. FINALLY we’ve reached the time of year for home alone discourse #he did what he needed to do to survive. then he did a bunch of other stuff he felt like doing (via @hotcrossedfangs)  Also the police in that movie are hilariously inept. Kevin‘s mom contacts them to do a wellness check on her eight-year-old son who is home alone and for them that consists of casually wandering down to the house, knocking once, and then when nobody answers instead of considering the very real possibility that a frightened young boy might not open the door right away, they just assume everything‘s fine and the mom is just crazy and they fuck right off.
Being Alone, Crazy, and Home Alone: The
 Trevor Moore O
 @itrevormoore
 Tmes
 TREDOR
 moORE
 Remember. Kevin McCallister could
 have phoned the police at any time. He
 was a child who had accidentally been
 left alone. One call and he would have
 been safe. But it was never about safety.
 He was hunting those men. He wanted
 them to die. It was fun for him. He
 enjoyed it.
bisexualhennessy:

foxyclock:

orgyporgy:

shittymoviedetails:
Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone
The movie establishes that the phone lines to the house are down, that’s also why nobody is able to call Kevin at home. The movie also establishes that all of his neighbors are out of town which is why he couldn’t borrow their phones. The movie ALSO BEGINS by introducing the main antagonist as a “police officer” which is why Kevin doesn’t trust the cops. I’m so tired of the ignorance. The slander. 


FINALLY we’ve reached the time of year for home alone discourse

#he did what he needed to do to survive. then he did a bunch of other stuff he felt like doing (via @hotcrossedfangs) 

Also the police in that movie are hilariously inept. Kevin‘s mom contacts them to do a wellness check on her eight-year-old son who is home alone and for them that consists of casually wandering down to the house, knocking once, and then when nobody answers instead of considering the very real possibility that a frightened young boy might not open the door right away, they just assume everything‘s fine and the mom is just crazy and they fuck right off.

bisexualhennessy: foxyclock: orgyporgy: shittymoviedetails: Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone The movie establishes that the phone ...

A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

Children, Cute, and Dating: niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona Scottsdale, Arizona Dating Apps Premium 2019 WRAPPED You have spent some serious time being single. Here is how much time you have spent on dating apps over the last 5 years. Let's hope you are single due to your personality, because the alternative is you are ugly. Top Dates Sarah S. Top Lies You Told Girls Your cat is cute 69,617 mins I love The Office I'm only talking to you I rarely drink You aren't like the other girls Laura T. Samantha R. Melissa R. 103,648 mins Stephanie M. 53,011 107,107 Top Hair Color Minutes on Dates mins 118,659 mins mins 3,600 Brunette 2017 2019 2018 2016 2015 niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona Scottsdale, Arizona In perfect harmony You were pretty desperate. USC CLASS OF 2022 You discovered 304 new girls this year. But you really didn't vibe with anyone. 3,401 0% anted You didn't swipe right on one specific type of girl. Below is what you look for most in a match. Ethically FRESHME admission APPLICATIO You created 38 new profile pictures, watched 4 girls report you for being inappropriate, and spent 65 hours debating if you should give up on dating and get a dog. Jake, 29 O less than a mile away I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help my future children become trojans at USC. I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically boost my chances of getting a trojan into you. Has a pulse and will give you attention. Cute Face Jake, 29 O less than a mile away Little Waist As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell), I can relate to the current bachelor. Big Behind Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me. Good Personality Jake 28 O less than a mile away Ladies, if I can do this to Leo, imagine what I can do to you. : A full story for “If Tinder had a year in review like Spotify does.”
Children, Cute, and Dating: niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 Dating Apps Premium
 2019 WRAPPED
 You have spent some serious time being
 single. Here is how much time you have
 spent on dating apps over the last 5 years.
 Let's hope you are single due to your
 personality, because the alternative is
 you are ugly.
 Top Dates
 Sarah S.
 Top Lies You Told Girls
 Your cat is cute
 69,617
 mins
 I love The Office
 I'm only talking to you
 I rarely drink
 You aren't like the other girls
 Laura T.
 Samantha R.
 Melissa R.
 103,648
 mins
 Stephanie M.
 53,011
 107,107
 Top Hair Color
 Minutes on Dates
 mins
 118,659
 mins
 mins
 3,600
 Brunette
 2017
 2019
 2018
 2016
 2015
 niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 In perfect harmony
 You were pretty desperate.
 USC CLASS OF 2022
 You discovered 304 new girls
 this year. But you really didn't
 vibe with anyone.
 3,401
 0% anted
 You didn't swipe right on one specific type of girl.
 Below is what you look for most in a match.
 Ethically
 FRESHME
 admission
 APPLICATIO
 You created 38 new profile pictures,
 watched 4 girls report you for being
 inappropriate, and spent 65 hours
 debating if you should give up on
 dating and get a dog.
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help
 my future children become trojans at USC.
 I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically
 boost my chances of getting a trojan into you.
 Has a pulse
 and will give
 you attention.
 Cute
 Face
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 Little
 Waist
 As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell),
 I can relate to the current bachelor.
 Big
 Behind
 Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the
 Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me.
 Good
 Personality
 Jake 28
 O less than a mile away
 Ladies, if I can do this to Leo, imagine
 what I can do to you.
 :
A full story for “If Tinder had a year in review like Spotify does.”

A full story for “If Tinder had a year in review like Spotify does.”