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Dank, Energy, and Head: Sairam Gudiseva 3nd period Never has a man influenced physics so profoundly as Niels Bohr in the early 1900's. Going back to this time period, little was known about atomic structure; Bohr set out to end the obscurity of physics. However,things didn't come easy for Bohr. He had to give up most of his life for physics and research of many hypothesis. But, this is why you and I have even heard of the quantum theory and atomic structures. Bohr came up with his quantum theory while studying at Cambridge. Bohr was a skeptic and he never truly believed in Max Planck's old quantum theory. He put forth the idea that, going from one high-energy orbit o a lower one, an electron could, in fact, be trying to emit a quantum of discrete energy. Bohr was criticized for this idea, but he didn't let up. Soon after, Bohr said his famed quote, " If quantum mechanics hasn't shocked you, you haven't understood it yet." This quote is extremely famous and has gone down as the motto for quantum physicist around the world. Understandably, Bohr never won a Nobel prize outside of physics (of which he only won one). Bohr's still going strong with his theories on atomic structure; he allowed for 100's of scientists to fully experiment with the cell and its many components. Bohr was largely on the run from the Nazi's when he came up with this discovery, which is amazing because around this time, Bohr's home country of Denmark was invaded by the Nazi's. Bohr and Ernest Rutherford are given credit, but it is believed that Rutherford decided to desert Bohr in the middle of their work. Rutherford once, quite famously said that you should never bet against the wonders of science. Niels Bohr's famous career never really kicked off until he was forty years old. Most other major scientists were going all over the world with their ideas by their early twenties. However, in order to preserve the legacy of Niels Bohr, he has his own institution, whose goal is to make many more great strides in the field of physics for years. How did Bohr affect you and me? Without Niels Bohrs' more advanced atomic theory, we might as well cry over how little we know of the atoms and their compounds. Physics would have never been such a force in the todays society. However, to this day, research is still going on to improve and update the atomic theory. Although scientists clearly want to improve on Bohr's theory, many famous physicists come out publicly and openly say that Bohr's ideas will never be improved upon, todays society cannot say goodbye to an opportunity to improve our understanding of the sciences. If Bohr never had silenced his critics, we would still be following Planck's theories, and going on incomplete information. Bohr's later life was all occupied when he decided to go back to Denmark and head the Royal Danish Academy. His main goal was to tell the world of the of the greatness of the Danish Sciences and most likely educate a new crop of scientists for years to come. There is controversy surrounding Bohr's lie during his stint in the Manhattan project. Though he claimed to be anti-violence and a peace-seeker, Bohr engineered on the Manhattan Project. Though he didn't hurt anyone directly, thousands of people died. Neils Bohr opened many doors for you and I in the physics world, he will go down as one of the greatest physicists. This guy aces quantum mechanics by EagleIndustriesJP MORE MEMES
Dank, Energy, and Head: Sairam Gudiseva
 3nd period
 Never has a man influenced physics so profoundly as Niels Bohr in the early 1900's.
 Going back to this time period, little was known about atomic structure; Bohr set out
 to end the obscurity of physics. However,things didn't come easy for Bohr. He had to
 give up most of his life for physics and research of many hypothesis. But, this is why
 you and I have even heard of the quantum theory and atomic structures. Bohr came
 up with his quantum theory while studying at Cambridge. Bohr was a skeptic and he
 never truly believed in Max Planck's old quantum theory. He put forth the idea that,
 going from one high-energy orbit o a lower one, an electron could, in fact, be trying
 to emit a quantum of discrete energy. Bohr was criticized for this idea, but he didn't
 let up. Soon after, Bohr said his famed quote, " If quantum mechanics hasn't shocked
 you, you haven't understood it yet." This quote is extremely famous and has gone
 down as the motto for quantum physicist around the world. Understandably, Bohr
 never won a Nobel prize outside of physics (of which he only won one). Bohr's still
 going strong with his theories on atomic structure; he allowed for 100's of scientists
 to fully experiment with the cell and its many components. Bohr was largely on the
 run from the Nazi's when he came up with this discovery, which is amazing because
 around this time, Bohr's home country of Denmark was invaded by the Nazi's. Bohr
 and Ernest Rutherford are given credit, but it is believed that Rutherford decided to
 desert Bohr in the middle of their work. Rutherford once, quite famously said that
 you should never bet against the wonders of science. Niels Bohr's famous career
 never really kicked off until he was forty years old. Most other major scientists were
 going all over the world with their ideas by their early twenties. However, in order
 to preserve the legacy of Niels Bohr, he has his own institution, whose goal is to
 make many more great strides in the field of physics for years. How did Bohr affect
 you and me? Without Niels Bohrs' more advanced atomic theory, we might as well
 cry over how little we know of the atoms and their compounds. Physics would have
 never been such a force in the todays society. However, to this day, research is still
 going on to improve and update the atomic theory. Although scientists clearly want
 to improve on Bohr's theory, many famous physicists come out publicly and openly
 say that Bohr's ideas will never be improved upon, todays society cannot say
 goodbye to an opportunity to improve our understanding of the sciences. If Bohr
 never had silenced his critics, we would still be following Planck's theories, and
 going on incomplete information. Bohr's later life was all occupied when he decided
 to go back to Denmark and head the Royal Danish Academy. His main goal was to
 tell the world of the of the greatness of the Danish Sciences and most likely educate
 a new crop of scientists for years to come. There is controversy surrounding Bohr's
 lie during his stint in the Manhattan project. Though he claimed to be anti-violence
 and a peace-seeker, Bohr engineered on the Manhattan Project. Though he didn't
 hurt anyone directly, thousands of people died. Neils Bohr opened many doors for
 you and I in the physics world, he will go down as one of the greatest physicists.
This guy aces quantum mechanics by EagleIndustriesJP
MORE MEMES

This guy aces quantum mechanics by EagleIndustriesJP MORE MEMES

Animals, Apparently, and Bad: Roberk Vanse Mark Humph oma Progra Robert We Michae Marjut Mier Mark e with Diploma Program secretlycrazyhummingbird: glumshoe: dentedproduct: frivolousphantasies: magical-game: mementoviviere: coffeehedonist: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: rebecca-lotto-mage-of-breath: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: oddity-txt: So I found this caterpillar on my way to class We’re bros I named him chicken nugget Aaaa he’s turning a duller color… I hope he’s alright So apparently chicken nugget is a spicebush swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate. He was making little silk things everywhere Bruh this caterpie is going to evolve to metapod today my boy isn’t messing around update hes entirely yellow now i made him a tube room hes crawlin all over the place checking it out its happening False alarm he moved a bitThis guy ??? caterpie doesnt evolve into kakuna whats he doing its happening part 2 For Real This Time chicken nugget using those advanced tactics balancing my man doesnt do anything halfway i put on some tunez for him so he can get into the metamorphazone sorry for keeping you all in suspense but chicken nugget is doing fine and he has a cool hat now hes been chillin like this for a couple days  hes been in cocoon for 10 days now🎉🐛🎉 let me know how he’s doing soon HES BUSTIN OUT im going to sleep, chicken nugget is snoozin and ill check up on him as soon as i wake up hope he doesnt party too hard  🐛 💤 💤 hes gone goth hes in his emoteen stage CHICKEN NUGGET IS A CHICKEN WING NOW BABY WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!!! hes’s in a bigger container than the one in the pic now but im gonna let my home boy find his way in the world after he gets used to his wings a little bit this kid doesnt have a bad angle dang https://youtu.be/TwpFUQzvRp0 there he goes he’s free and im so proud and a little sad this was an incredible experience (thats my family oohing and ahhing in the background) I’ve seen yall reblog the unfinished ones SO MUCH that I’m getting pissed, anyway here’s the full chicken nugget saga. Awesome! Hope you’re happy somewhere, Chicken Nugget! I have missed this post so much! Let’s all celebrate Chicken Nugget! do you guys realize that,,,, chicken nugget is one of those butterflies that is perfectly half female and half male?? nugget’s left wing is typical of a female spice bush swallowtail and the right wing is typical of a male a gender role smashing icon This was sweet… until someone made this about goddamn gender roles. It’s not about ‘gender roles’! Bilateral gynandromorphism is a really interesting, uncommon genetic phenomenon seen in a number of animals that have ZW sex chromosomes. They work quite differently from human’s X and Y chromosomes. In some circumstances, it’s possible for an individual to develop with two entirely different sets of genes–in this case, divided in a perfect split down the body. It’s not very well understood, and some scientists consider it a form of chimerism… but it’s really cool and worth talking about! OP had a genetically interesting surprise.  Oh make no mistake a ‘biologicist’ transphobe got pissed this thread is even better. Also chicken nugget is beautiful!
Animals, Apparently, and Bad: Roberk Vanse
 Mark Humph
 oma Progra

 Robert We
 Michae
 Marjut Mier
 Mark
 e with
 Diploma Program
secretlycrazyhummingbird:

glumshoe:

dentedproduct:

frivolousphantasies:

magical-game:

mementoviviere:

coffeehedonist:


oddity-txt:


oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

rebecca-lotto-mage-of-breath:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

oddity-txt:

So I found this caterpillar on my way to class 

We’re bros

I named him chicken nugget

Aaaa he’s turning a duller color… I hope he’s alright

So apparently chicken nugget is a spicebush swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate.
He was making little silk things everywhere 
Bruh this caterpie is going to evolve to metapod today my boy isn’t messing around


update hes entirely yellow now


i made him a tube room
hes crawlin all over the place checking it out


its happening

False alarm he moved a bitThis guy


??? caterpie doesnt evolve into kakuna


whats he doing


its happening part 2 For Real This Time


chicken nugget using those advanced tactics balancing my man doesnt do anything halfway


i put on some tunez for him so he can get into the metamorphazone

sorry for keeping you all in suspense but chicken nugget is doing fine and he has a cool hat now
hes been chillin like this for a couple days 

hes been in cocoon for 10 days now🎉🐛🎉

let me know how he’s doing soon


HES BUSTIN OUT


im going to sleep, chicken nugget is snoozin and ill check up on him as soon as i wake up
hope he doesnt party too hard 


🐛


💤 

💤 







hes gone goth hes in his emoteen stage


CHICKEN NUGGET IS A CHICKEN WING NOW BABY WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!!!


hes’s in a bigger container than the one in the pic now but im gonna let my home boy find his way in the world after he gets used to his wings a little bit


this kid doesnt have a bad angle dang


https://youtu.be/TwpFUQzvRp0
there he goes he’s free and im so proud and a little sad
this was an incredible experience
(thats my family oohing and ahhing in the background)


I’ve seen yall reblog the unfinished ones SO MUCH that I’m getting pissed, anyway here’s the full chicken nugget saga.


Awesome! Hope you’re happy somewhere, Chicken Nugget!

I have missed this post so much! Let’s all celebrate Chicken Nugget!


do you guys realize that,,,, chicken nugget is one of those butterflies that is perfectly half female and half male?? nugget’s left wing is typical of a female spice bush swallowtail and the right wing is typical of a male
a gender role smashing icon

This was sweet… until someone made this about goddamn gender roles.

It’s not about ‘gender roles’! Bilateral gynandromorphism is a really interesting, uncommon genetic phenomenon seen in a number of animals that have ZW sex chromosomes. They work quite differently from human’s X and Y chromosomes. In some circumstances, it’s possible for an individual to develop with two entirely different sets of genes–in this case, divided in a perfect split down the body. It’s not very well understood, and some scientists consider it a form of chimerism… but it’s really cool and worth talking about! OP had a genetically interesting surprise. 


Oh make no mistake a ‘biologicist’ transphobe got pissed this thread is even better.
Also chicken nugget is beautiful!

secretlycrazyhummingbird: glumshoe: dentedproduct: frivolousphantasies: magical-game: mementoviviere: coffeehedonist: oddity-txt: ...

Nas, Nasa, and News: neopetcemetery Uranus 'gapes wide open for blasts of hot wind', scientists claim Uranus 'opens wide' on a daily basis to let in blasts of solar win... metro.co.uk 5h someone has waited their entire career to use this headline goopy-amethyst Scientist should say something else infamy-and-plunder Something huge and hard went into Uranus and it got very messy Metro.. metro.co.uk 2017/12/20 som... 20 Dec 2017 In the distant past, Uranus took an absolute pounding, say researchers, without even cracking a smile. My isn't Uranus full of surprises? Researchers.. There's something very hard heading towards Uranus, scientists .. Metro metro.co.uk 2017/08/28 ther... 28 Aug 2017 Scientists have long suspected it, but there is something very, very hard near Uranus rains of solid diamonds to be precise. Stanford researchers now believe that huge diamonds - possibly millions of carats -sink towards the core of Uranus. .. Extremely high pressure squeezes.. Uranus will be on display to the entire world later this month Metro News metro.co.uk 2017/10/03 ura... 3 Oct 2017 It's every schoolboy's favourite planet- and this month, millions of people will be staring at Uranus. Uranus will be on display on October 19, as the planet... Scientists spot a massive floater hanging around Uranus | Metro News metro.co.uk News Science 5 Sep 2017 Another week, another mystery found right next to Uranus - as scientists discover that the moon Cressida would actually float in a tub of water. NASA wants to probe deeper into Uranus than ever before | Metro News metro.co.uk 2017/06/19 nas... This guy needs a raise therothwoman Something huge went into Uranus and left it absolutely ruined Rob Waugh Monday 2 Jul 2018 10:00 pm NASA wants to probe deeper into Uranus than ever before Rob Waugh Monday 19 Jun 2017 11:15 am Something huge and hard went into Uranus and it got very messy Rob Waugh Wednesday 20 Dec 2017 9:42 am Uranus 'gapes wide open for blasts of hot wind', scientists claim Rob Waugh Tuesday 27 Jun 2017 4:12 pm This hero's name is Rob Waugh Source: neopetcemetery 233,094 notes A
Nas, Nasa, and News: neopetcemetery
 Uranus 'gapes wide
 open for blasts of hot
 wind', scientists claim
 Uranus 'opens wide' on a daily
 basis to let in blasts of solar win...
 metro.co.uk 5h
 someone has waited their entire career to use this
 headline
 goopy-amethyst
 Scientist should say something else
 infamy-and-plunder
 Something huge and hard went into Uranus
 and it got very messy Metro..
 metro.co.uk 2017/12/20 som...
 20 Dec 2017 In the distant
 past, Uranus took an absolute
 pounding, say researchers,
 without even cracking a smile.
 My isn't Uranus full of
 surprises? Researchers..
 There's something very hard heading
 towards Uranus, scientists .. Metro
 metro.co.uk 2017/08/28 ther...
 28 Aug 2017 Scientists have
 long suspected it, but there is
 something very, very hard near
 Uranus rains of solid
 diamonds to be precise.
 Stanford researchers now
 believe that huge diamonds - possibly millions of
 carats -sink towards the core of Uranus. ..
 Extremely high pressure squeezes..
 Uranus will be on display to the entire world
 later this month Metro News
 metro.co.uk 2017/10/03 ura...
 3 Oct 2017 It's every
 schoolboy's favourite planet-
 and this month, millions of
 people will be staring at
 Uranus. Uranus will be on
 display on October 19, as the
 planet...
 Scientists spot a massive floater hanging
 around Uranus | Metro News
 metro.co.uk News Science
 5 Sep 2017 Another week,
 another mystery found right
 next to Uranus - as scientists
 discover that the moon
 Cressida would actually float
 in a tub of water.
 NASA wants to probe deeper into Uranus
 than ever before | Metro News
 metro.co.uk 2017/06/19 nas...
 This guy needs a raise
 therothwoman
 Something huge went into Uranus and
 left it absolutely ruined
 Rob Waugh Monday 2 Jul 2018 10:00 pm
 NASA wants to probe deeper into
 Uranus than ever before
 Rob Waugh Monday 19 Jun 2017 11:15 am
 Something huge and hard went into
 Uranus and it got very messy
 Rob Waugh Wednesday 20 Dec 2017 9:42 am
 Uranus 'gapes wide open for blasts of
 hot wind', scientists claim
 Rob Waugh Tuesday 27 Jun 2017 4:12 pm
 This hero's name is Rob Waugh
 Source: neopetcemetery
 233,094 notes
 A

Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they
 have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them they’re doing their best :(

youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the...

Animals, Deer, and Fucking: I HAVE TINY CRUSTACEANS STUCK IN MY GILLS! I'M HUNGRY FOR SEA BUGS! WHITETIP SHARK CLEANER WRASSE I NEED SOMEONE TO CARRY MY POLLEN TO OTHER FLOWERS I NEED NECTAR TO EAT! TICKSEED FLOWERS BUCKEYE BUTTERFLY l'M LOOKING FOR A BIG MEAL, BUT I NEED HELP FINDING A DEER I WANT TO EAT VENISON, BUT I'M TOO SMALL TO HUNT DEER! COMMON RAVEN COYOTE I NEED SOMEONE TO KEEP ANTS FROM EATING MY EGGS! I WANT A HOME WITH A BODYGUARD AND FREE ANT DELIVERY INCLUDED! COLOMBIAN LESSERBLACK TARANTULA DOTTED HUMMING FROG M. TILLERY - CYANEUS.COM /w/Av[ paramud: personal-scientist: draconym: themaishi: draconym: Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why do so many of my big work projects revolve around Valentine’s programs?) Also, by “sea bugs,” I obviously meant “gnathiid isopod larvae.” The himan one is not as good as the rest If you mean the mutualism between humans and honeyguides, I respectfully disagree. Human/honeyguide mutualism is one of the most sophisticated interspecies relationships in the animal kingdom. While humans have domesticated many other animals for their labor, the honeyguide remains entirely wild while electing to partner up with humans. Both humans and honeyguides have each developed specific calls to signal to one another that they are on the hunt, and these calls greatly increase the likelihood of success. According to this paper: The production of this sound increased the probability of being guided by a honeyguide from about 33 to 66% and the overall probability of thus finding a bees’ nest from 17 to 54%, as compared with other animal or human sounds of similar amplitude. That’s fucking bonkers, you guys!!! There are people out there who over the course of human history have created a sound to communicate with birds, and the birds themselves have a Human Call they use to communicate with us. There is no other wild animal you can just make noises at and immediately communicate that you want it to come help you!!! What’s more, many scientists consider this relationship more exploitative on the honeyguide’s end than on our end! That’s unprecedented!! These birds have essentially negotiated a trade deal with humanity!!!! This is the stuff of fantasy movies, except it’s real. Here’s an article from The Guardian about the broader implications of this kind of relationship with wild animals. It’s a good read: Apart from with our gut bacteria, we humans don’t really have any mutualistic relationships with other creatures. There is no special tune that we can sing to magically attract nearby hedgehogs into our gardens to feast on slugs. There will never be a special wink that fishermen can offer otters, encouraging them to catch fish that we might then de-bone for them, in return for some of the catch. The world is poorer for this. OKAY BUT the noise we make at honeyguides is one of my favorite noises there is, and if y’all haven’t heard the “BRRR-HM?” call that hunters use to summon honeyguides you are SERIOUSLY missing out. There’s an audio clip on the Audobon Society’s article about them [link] @metalpaca
Animals, Deer, and Fucking: I HAVE TINY CRUSTACEANS
 STUCK IN MY GILLS!
 I'M HUNGRY FOR SEA BUGS!
 WHITETIP SHARK
 CLEANER WRASSE
 I NEED SOMEONE TO CARRY
 MY POLLEN TO OTHER FLOWERS
 I NEED NECTAR TO EAT!
 TICKSEED FLOWERS
 BUCKEYE BUTTERFLY
 l'M LOOKING FOR A BIG MEAL,
 BUT I NEED HELP FINDING A DEER
 I WANT TO EAT VENISON, BUT
 I'M TOO SMALL TO HUNT DEER!
 COMMON RAVEN
 COYOTE
 I NEED SOMEONE TO KEEP
 ANTS FROM EATING MY EGGS!
 I WANT A HOME WITH A BODYGUARD
 AND FREE ANT DELIVERY INCLUDED!
 COLOMBIAN LESSERBLACK TARANTULA
 DOTTED HUMMING FROG
 M. TILLERY - CYANEUS.COM
 /w/Av[
paramud:

personal-scientist:
draconym:

themaishi:

draconym:

Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why do so many of my big work projects revolve around Valentine’s programs?)
Also, by “sea bugs,” I obviously meant “gnathiid isopod larvae.”


The himan one is not as good as the rest 

If you mean the mutualism between humans and honeyguides, I respectfully disagree. Human/honeyguide mutualism is one of the most sophisticated interspecies relationships in the animal kingdom.
While humans have domesticated many other animals for their labor, the honeyguide remains entirely wild while electing to partner up with humans. Both humans and honeyguides have each developed specific calls to signal to one another that they are on the hunt, and these calls greatly increase the likelihood of success. According to this paper:
The production of this sound increased the probability of being guided 
by a honeyguide from about 33 to 66% and the overall probability of thus
 finding a bees’ nest from 17 to 54%, as compared with other animal or 
human sounds of similar amplitude.
That’s fucking bonkers, you guys!!! There are people out there who over the course of human history have created a sound to communicate with birds, and the birds themselves have a Human Call they use to communicate with us. There is no other wild animal you can just make noises at and immediately communicate that you want it to come help you!!!
What’s more, many scientists consider this relationship more exploitative on the honeyguide’s end than on our end! That’s unprecedented!! These birds have essentially negotiated a trade deal with humanity!!!! This is the stuff of fantasy movies, except it’s real.
Here’s an article from The Guardian about the broader implications of this kind of relationship with wild animals. It’s a good read:

Apart from with our gut bacteria, we humans don’t really have any 
mutualistic relationships with other creatures. There is no special tune
 that we can sing to magically attract nearby hedgehogs into our gardens
 to feast on slugs. There will never be a special wink that fishermen 
can offer otters, encouraging them to catch fish that we might then 
de-bone for them, in return for some of the catch. The world is poorer 
for this.



OKAY BUT the noise we make at honeyguides is one of my favorite noises there is, and if y’all haven’t heard the “BRRR-HM?” call that hunters use to summon honeyguides you are SERIOUSLY missing out. 
There’s an audio clip on the Audobon Society’s article about them [link]


@metalpaca

paramud: personal-scientist: draconym: themaishi: draconym: Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why ...