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College, Creepy, and Dude: If you don't teach your child to obey Jesus, the devil will teach them evolution, sexuality psychology, witchcraft thefingerfuckingfemalefury: fire-ghoul: seekerofshores: grumpyrpgreviews: prokopetz: cheesedeity: prokopetz: bear-eggs: geekandmisandry: Wow, I had no idea Satan was so knowledgeable and generous with his time. #TeamSatan Can satan come teach a class at my school Amusingly, among the Western European demon-conjuring cults of the 16th Century, many demons were greatly valued for their skill as teachers, often to the point that grimoires would place greater emphasis on the subjects each demon was qualified to teach than on their supernatural powers. For example, this guy? Teaches moral philosophy. And this creepy dude? He’s your astronomy professor. Seriously, look this stuff up some time - it’s wild. I now want a comic or cartoon series about demon teachers and their human students. Not sure if it should be college or high school. “Aw, man - I got Professor Lionwheel. I hear if you fail his exams, he eats your legs.” “Yeah, but he’s supposed to be really good about keeping regular office hours.” “Huh. Sort of a trade-off, really.” What do you have to do to get a scholarship? I can’t believe you called Buer, Great President of Hell, Professor Lionwheel lmfao. this whole post I’M LATE FOR MY FIRST DAY AT DEMON SCHOOL
College, Creepy, and Dude: If you don't teach your
 child to obey Jesus, the
 devil will teach them
 evolution, sexuality
 psychology, witchcraft
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
fire-ghoul:

seekerofshores:

grumpyrpgreviews:

prokopetz:

cheesedeity:

prokopetz:

bear-eggs:

geekandmisandry:

Wow, I had no idea Satan was so knowledgeable and generous with his time.
#TeamSatan

Can satan come teach a class at my school

Amusingly, among the Western European demon-conjuring cults of the 16th Century, many demons were greatly valued for their skill as teachers, often to the point that grimoires would place greater emphasis on the subjects each demon was qualified to teach than on their supernatural powers.
For example, this guy?
Teaches moral philosophy.
And this creepy dude?
He’s your astronomy professor.
Seriously, look this stuff up some time - it’s wild.

I now want a comic or cartoon series about demon teachers and their human students. Not sure if it should be college or high school.

“Aw, man - I got Professor Lionwheel. I hear if you fail his exams, he eats your legs.”
“Yeah, but he’s supposed to be really good about keeping regular office hours.”
“Huh. Sort of a trade-off, really.”

What do you have to do to get a scholarship?

I can’t believe you called Buer, Great President of Hell, Professor Lionwheel lmfao. 

this whole post

I’M LATE FOR MY FIRST DAY AT DEMON SCHOOL

thefingerfuckingfemalefury: fire-ghoul: seekerofshores: grumpyrpgreviews: prokopetz: cheesedeity: prokopetz: bear-eggs: geekandmisand...

Af, Animals, and Bad: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: brookietf: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: drydrangea: association-of-free-people: cruzan-for-love: wethepotterheads0214: trashytoclassy: bunnywith: uleanblue: hermionxjean: maddeningmagic106: doctorsiggy: jitterbugjive: whoweargoldintheirhair: mememiya-anthy: #freshly peeled sheeps reblogging solely for that deeply unnerving caption @theosartisticthematics FRESHLY PEELED SHEEPS Fuck this. Does everyone just not see the blood scrapes on some of their backs and faces???!!! Anyone, seriously, correct me if I’m wrong because this is making me upset af Domesticated sheep need to be sheared because they don’t shed their coats on their own and it can be bad for their health if it gets too big. Also, it looks considering how close they cut that it went fairly well. I see like 2 nicks maybe, but with the photo it’s hard to tell. I mean, unfortunately, you’re going to nick a few animals because they don’t understand the order of “stand still” very well.  Sheep can die from heat exhaustion if they aren’t sheared.  Also, their skin secretes lanolin, which quickly soothes and heals any nicks they get during shearing.  in conclusion, it is good to peel the sheeps Please peel your sheeps They. Look. Like. Peeled. Potatoes Peel your sheep peeps! Remember when they found Shrek living in that cave and freed him he’s smiling in that last one HE HAS BEEN SAVED Anyone who has had a lot of hair then got a very close hair cut, that amazing feel of the breeze on your scalp? Imagine that for your whole body. Sheep LOOOOVE being sheared, especially in summer here in AUS. It saves them from MELTING!
Af, Animals, and Bad: thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
brookietf:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

drydrangea:

association-of-free-people:


cruzan-for-love:


wethepotterheads0214:


trashytoclassy:

bunnywith:

uleanblue:

hermionxjean:

maddeningmagic106:

doctorsiggy:

jitterbugjive:

whoweargoldintheirhair:

mememiya-anthy:
#freshly peeled sheeps
reblogging solely for that deeply unnerving caption

@theosartisticthematics

FRESHLY PEELED SHEEPS

Fuck this. Does everyone just not see the blood scrapes on some of their backs and faces???!!! Anyone, seriously, correct me if I’m wrong because this is making me upset af

Domesticated sheep need to be sheared because they don’t shed their coats on their own and it can be bad for their health if it gets too big.
Also, it looks considering how close they cut that it went fairly well. I see like 2 nicks maybe, but with the photo it’s hard to tell. I mean, unfortunately, you’re going to nick a few animals because they don’t understand the order of “stand still” very well. 

Sheep can die from heat exhaustion if they aren’t sheared. 
Also, their skin secretes lanolin, which quickly soothes and heals any nicks they get during shearing. 

in conclusion, it is good to peel the sheeps


Please peel your sheeps


They. Look. Like. Peeled. Potatoes


Peel your sheep peeps!


Remember when they found Shrek living in that cave and freed him


he’s smiling in that last one

HE HAS BEEN SAVED 

Anyone who has had a lot of hair then got a very close hair cut, that amazing feel of the breeze on your scalp? Imagine that for your whole body.
Sheep LOOOOVE being sheared, especially in summer here in AUS.

It saves them from MELTING!

thefingerfuckingfemalefury: brookietf: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: drydrangea: association-of-free-people: cruzan-for-love: wethepott...

Apparently, Head, and Parents: epochayur people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open are not to be trusted oonabashed This is true. I once did this to cheat at a pool game, and a kid in goggles saw me do it He wanted to know how, so l told him I was part mermaid. He wanted to call bullshit, but I was like, look kid, I can prove t, but you're not allowed to tell anyone under 18. He said what about his mom, I said, sure, but she won't believe you, so it didn't matter if he ratted on me to an adult. He was skeptical but agreed. For the next ten minutes I executed any number of water related feats-I've been swimming since I was 3 and was on the swimming and diving team in high school I crossed the entire span of the pool underwater without taking a breath. I sat on the bottom of the pool for a minute. I lifted him over my head while only treading water. I floated face down without moving for a convincing stretch of time. I did a pretty choice inward pike off the diving board. This was what really convinced him. He'd seen a dolphin show once, apparently, and thought it was pretty comparable So yeah. This kid was straight up convinced I was a mermaid and was losing his shit and trying to figure out how to get around his promise He went over to the hottub to tell all the parents and they all like, smiled and laughed and nodded. He could tell they didn't believe him. He came back and was like You were right about adults." Yeah kid, I know" "Well but, you're the most important discovery I've ever made! I gotta tell someonel" Well. You need to establish some credibility first, I told him. "You have to prove to people that you're a serious scientific thinker, and then when you say stuff like this, they might believe you. He thought about this for a second. "But what if you just showed them?" and I said it was against half memaid rules to show adults anything that could make them suspicious. He took this seriously He spent the rest of his time in the pool following me around. I taught him how to hold his breath underwater without plugging his nose and how to do a backstroke I'm still proud of this, and regret nothing o marky-mark-quack-quack-quack 698,054 notes 14 Times People On Tumblr Told Really Great Stories
Apparently, Head, and Parents: epochayur
 people that can swim underwater in chlorine pools with their eyes open
 are not to be trusted
 oonabashed
 This is true. I once did this to cheat at a pool game, and a kid in
 goggles saw me do it He wanted to know how, so l told him I was part
 mermaid. He wanted to call bullshit, but I was like, look kid, I can prove
 t, but you're not allowed to tell anyone under 18. He said what about his
 mom, I said, sure, but she won't believe you, so it didn't matter if he
 ratted on me to an adult. He was skeptical but agreed. For the next ten
 minutes I executed any number of water related feats-I've been
 swimming since I was 3 and was on the swimming and diving team in
 high school I crossed the entire span of the pool underwater without
 taking a breath. I sat on the bottom of the pool for a minute. I lifted him
 over my head while only treading water. I floated face down without
 moving for a convincing stretch of time. I did a pretty choice inward pike
 off the diving board. This was what really convinced him. He'd seen a
 dolphin show once, apparently, and thought it was pretty comparable
 So yeah. This kid was straight up convinced I was a mermaid and was
 losing his shit and trying to figure out how to get around his promise
 He went over to the hottub to tell all the parents and they all like, smiled
 and laughed and nodded. He could tell they didn't believe him. He came
 back and was like You were right about adults." Yeah kid, I
 know" "Well but, you're the most important discovery I've ever made! I
 gotta tell someonel" Well. You need to establish some credibility first,
 I told him. "You have to prove to people that you're a serious scientific
 thinker, and then when you say stuff like this, they might believe you.
 He thought about this for a second. "But what if you just showed
 them?" and I said it was against half memaid rules to show adults
 anything that could make them suspicious. He took this seriously He
 spent the rest of his time in the pool following me around. I taught him
 how to hold his breath underwater without plugging his nose and how
 to do a backstroke
 I'm still proud of this, and regret nothing
 o marky-mark-quack-quack-quack
 698,054 notes
14 Times People On Tumblr Told Really Great Stories

14 Times People On Tumblr Told Really Great Stories

80s, Adam Driver, and Adam Sandler: NO ONE WILL WATCH THIS No ONE WANTS7 /S UL JUL CARES FOA THIS its-bewitched: trilllizard666: keyhollow:Story matters more than sex, please always remember that. what’s funniest about this comic, I think, is the wildly inconsistent success or complete lack of in the properties and the vast, wild differences between how they were received in the run up to the premier of them as artistic/entertainment propertiesFiegbusters/Ghostbusters 2016 had a PR run that was mostly defined by a weird antagonism where they said detractors are just manbaby basement dwellers that hate women, along with pretty badly done trailers that people compared to Pixels. Remember Pixels? That awful Adam Sandler REMEMBER THE 80S vehicle/scam? That said, unlike Pixels, this Ghostbusters failed to make money. It flopped. It flopped terribly. So Strawman McGee was actually right, Nobody DID Watch This, besides weirdoes that used Holtzmann reaction gifs for a month and kept saying how gay they were for two of the lady Ghostbusters.Star Wars: The Force Awakens was a huge runaway box office success with people excited to see it, even though a lot of people were critical of Rey and how boring she was as a character, in comparison to Finn and Poe, who had a lot more interesting going on with their characters, respectively, and people were excited to see The Last Jedi. Then came the sequel. It was…still a financial box office success, but it was extremely divisive among Star Wars fans and any group of critics that aren’t deeply entrenched “establishment” film critics. And there’s rumors abound it wasn’t quite AS much a box office success as Disney would like, which along with Solo flopping, seems to have resulted in Disney pulling back their Star Wars output a little tiny bit. Possibly.Literally all the reasons that people were apprehensive about Wonder Woman pre-release were all reasons unrelated to her being a woman. She’s one of the most important DC superheroes, a founding member of almost all incarnations of the Justice League, and Frank Miller himself has called part of The Trinity of DC, along with Superman and Batman. People were apprehensive of a Wonder Woman film because almost all the previous attempts to bring Wonder Woman to film or TV have been some sort of disaster, from the Joss Whedon script that leaked that everyone took the absolute piss out of (which had a seriously troubled production that led to the Wonder Woman film we eventually got), to the horrible pilot that makes Wonder Woman into a bizarrely inconsistent crazed murderer. People were apprehensive of a Wonder Woman film because it was part of the badly executed DCEU, with the previous films before this including BvS and Suicide Squad, which were critically SAVAGED. People were looking at a Wonder Woman and dreading it cause they were like “oh god not another one of these fucking awful films”. and then Justice League afterwards was total dogshit. and yeah, there was a bit of controversy about Gal Gadot, but that’s from a mixture of people not being sure she could actually act well enough because she was mostly a model and was in a Fast and Furious film before this, and because she is a proud IDF member, which is kinda controversial because of all the baggage that comes with what the Israeli military frequently does in terms of war crimes. (granted, she was only ever in a non combat role when she served in the military, but come on, this website gave Adam Driver shit for joining the USMC and not doing anything combat related before he got a medical discharge cause he broke his collarbone lmao). it had nothing to do with being a woman.Literally nobody cares about She-Ra except for weirdoes into it, like the beanmouth manchildren animation adherents or the people that uniroically think SJWs are killing everything, and it’s a cheaply made Netflix show. You’d have to almost try on purpose to not make any money from a Netflix show with a low/modest budget. Also I know a few families with young girls and young boys and nobody I know seems to remotely give a shit about the reboot She-Ra. It’s all weird teenagers, shippers, and the type of people that send death threats for people drawing boobs while beating meat to the catgirl in it getting with the main character.Captain Marvel is a box office success and reviewing decently well, but even the critics that like it are leveling criticisms towards how badly shot and done some of the fight scenes and long shots are, and a popular sentient is a lot of the fights have it so that it’s almost impossible to tell what’s happening, which isn’t a criticism unique to Captain Marvel. However, most people that were unthrilled about Captain Marvel before launch…Thought the trailer looked boring (gosh, that’s familiar), or were people raising an eyebrow at how the film’s basically Air Force propaganda. And it’s probably worth saying here, Captain Marvel, or Carol Danvers just isn’t that popular a character and isn’t popular in comics at all. Marvel flagrantly kept trying to astroturf her into an A lister position after they realized they had (at the time), sold off the film rights to a majority of the popular female characters. Most all their popular heroes and anti-heroes and villains that were female are in the X-Men, which was owned by Fox, or in other films in other studios. Cue the pre-Disney buyout reboot of her. Which flopped as a solo title, by the way. Notice how almost all the stuff with Ms Marvel/Danvers Captain Marvel that does well has her as a MEMBER or a side character. She’s a C-level character that came into existence, pre-retcon, because a superpowered Kree’s DNA got mixed with hers in an explosion. She was an emergency replacement, out of universe because of the Captain Marvel DC/Marvel clusterfuck and lawsuits. She’s less a character, and more a device. And this also easily fits under the “needlessly, weirdly antagonistic PR umbrella”nobody that can string together more than a comprehensible sentence does not dislike this things cause there’s women in it, trust me lmao The issue with captain marvel is RT deleting up to 50k reviews from fans that dislike the film. The headlines are “Brie Larson defeats internet trolls!” Calling fans trolls sure does a lot to discourage them from getting into a movie.
80s, Adam Driver, and Adam Sandler: NO ONE WILL WATCH THIS
 No ONE WANTS7
 /S
 UL JUL
 CARES FOA
 THIS
its-bewitched:

trilllizard666:

keyhollow:Story matters more than sex, please always remember that. 
what’s funniest about this comic, I think, is the wildly inconsistent success or complete lack of in the properties and the vast, wild differences between how they were received in the run up to the premier of them as artistic/entertainment propertiesFiegbusters/Ghostbusters 2016 had a PR run that was mostly defined by a weird antagonism where they said detractors are just manbaby basement dwellers that hate women, along with pretty badly done trailers that people compared to Pixels. Remember Pixels? That awful Adam Sandler REMEMBER THE 80S vehicle/scam? That said, unlike Pixels, this Ghostbusters failed to make money. It flopped. It flopped terribly. So Strawman McGee was actually right, Nobody DID Watch This, besides weirdoes that used Holtzmann reaction gifs for a month and kept saying how gay they were for two of the lady Ghostbusters.Star Wars: The Force Awakens was a huge runaway box office success with people excited to see it, even though a lot of people were critical of Rey and how boring she was as a character, in comparison to Finn and Poe, who had a lot more interesting going on with their characters, respectively, and people were excited to see The Last Jedi. Then came the sequel. It was…still a financial box office success, but it was extremely divisive among Star Wars fans and any group of critics that aren’t deeply entrenched “establishment” film critics. And there’s rumors abound it wasn’t quite AS much a box office success as Disney would like, which along with Solo flopping, seems to have resulted in Disney pulling back their Star Wars output a little tiny bit. Possibly.Literally all the reasons that people were apprehensive about Wonder Woman pre-release were all reasons unrelated to her being a woman. She’s one of the most important DC superheroes, a founding member of almost all incarnations of the Justice League, and Frank Miller himself has called part of The Trinity of DC, along with Superman and Batman. People were apprehensive of a Wonder Woman film because almost all the previous attempts to bring Wonder Woman to film or TV have been some sort of disaster, from the Joss Whedon script that leaked that everyone took the absolute piss out of (which had a seriously troubled production that led to the Wonder Woman film we eventually got), to the horrible pilot that makes Wonder Woman into a bizarrely inconsistent crazed murderer. People were apprehensive of a Wonder Woman film because it was part of the badly executed DCEU, with the previous films before this including BvS and Suicide Squad, which were critically SAVAGED. People were looking at a Wonder Woman and dreading it cause they were like “oh god not another one of these fucking awful films”. and then Justice League afterwards was total dogshit. and yeah, there was a bit of controversy about Gal Gadot, but that’s from a mixture of people not being sure she could actually act well enough because she was mostly a model and was in a Fast and Furious film before this, and because she is a proud IDF member, which is kinda controversial because of all the baggage that comes with what the Israeli military frequently does in terms of war crimes. (granted, she was only ever in a non combat role when she served in the military, but come on, this website gave Adam Driver shit for joining the USMC and not doing anything combat related before he got a medical discharge cause he broke his collarbone lmao). it had nothing to do with being a woman.Literally nobody cares about She-Ra except for weirdoes into it, like the beanmouth manchildren animation adherents or the people that uniroically think SJWs are killing everything, and it’s a cheaply made Netflix show. You’d have to almost try on purpose to not make any money from a Netflix show with a low/modest budget. Also I know a few families with young girls and young boys and nobody I know seems to remotely give a shit about the reboot She-Ra. It’s all weird teenagers, shippers, and the type of people that send death threats for people drawing boobs while beating meat to the catgirl in it getting with the main character.Captain Marvel is a box office success and reviewing decently well, but even the critics that like it are leveling criticisms towards how badly shot and done some of the fight scenes and long shots are, and a popular sentient is a lot of the fights have it so that it’s almost impossible to tell what’s happening, which isn’t a criticism unique to Captain Marvel. However, most people that were unthrilled about Captain Marvel before launch…Thought the trailer looked boring (gosh, that’s familiar), or were people raising an eyebrow at how the film’s basically Air Force propaganda. And it’s probably worth saying here, Captain Marvel, or Carol Danvers just isn’t that popular a character and isn’t popular in comics at all. Marvel flagrantly kept trying to astroturf her into an A lister position after they realized they had (at the time), sold off the film rights to a majority of the popular female characters. Most all their popular heroes and anti-heroes and villains that were female are in the X-Men, which was owned by Fox, or in other films in other studios. Cue the pre-Disney buyout reboot of her. Which flopped as a solo title, by the way. Notice how almost all the stuff with Ms Marvel/Danvers Captain Marvel that does well has her as a MEMBER or a side character. She’s a C-level character that came into existence, pre-retcon, because a superpowered Kree’s DNA got mixed with hers in an explosion. She was an emergency replacement, out of universe because of the Captain Marvel DC/Marvel clusterfuck and lawsuits. She’s less a character, and more a device. And this also easily fits under the “needlessly, weirdly antagonistic PR umbrella”nobody that can string together more than a comprehensible sentence does not dislike this things cause there’s women in it, trust me lmao

The issue with captain marvel is RT deleting up to 50k reviews from fans that dislike the film. The headlines are “Brie Larson defeats internet trolls!” Calling fans trolls sure does a lot to discourage them from getting into a movie.

its-bewitched: trilllizard666: keyhollow:Story matters more than sex, please always remember that. what’s funniest about this comic, I th...