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Elf, Elf on the Shelf, and Old: My little cousin was tired of the same old elf on the shelf
Elf, Elf on the Shelf, and Old: My little cousin was tired of the same old elf on the shelf

My little cousin was tired of the same old elf on the shelf

Elf, Elf on the Shelf, and Old: My little cousin was tired of the same old elf on the shelf
Elf, Elf on the Shelf, and Old: My little cousin was tired of the same old elf on the shelf

My little cousin was tired of the same old elf on the shelf

Beautiful, Clothes, and Fire: A psychologist goes to Target and after visiting the make-up aisle, he decides to write this letter to his young daughter: Dear Little One, As I write this, I'm sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store. A friend recently texted me froma different makeup aisle and told me it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world. I wanted to find out what he meant. Flat OOOKS HAN UR LAF And now that I'm sitting here, I'm beginning to agree with him. Words have power, and the words on display in this aisle have a deep power. Words and phrases like: Affordably gorgeous, Infallible, Flawless finish, Brilliant strength, Liquid power, Go nude, Age defying, Instant age rewind, Choose your dream, Nearly naked, and Natural beauty. When you have a daughter you start to realize she's just as strong as everyone else in the house-a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But sitting in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won't see her that way. Theyll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And they'll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or influence. But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a father can begin to compete with the words of the world. Maybe a father's words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her own worthiness and beauty. A father's words aren't different words, but they are words with a radically different meaning: BRILLIANT STRENGTH: May your strength be not in your fingernails but in your heat. May you discem in your center who you are, and then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world. CHOOSE YOUR DREAM: But not from a department store shelf. Find the still-quiet place within you. A real dream has been planted there. Discover what you want to do in the world. And when you have chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope. NAKED: The world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep them on. But take your gloves off. Pull no punches. Say what is in your heart. Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a world that barely knows what it means to love itself. Do so nakedly. Openly. With abandon. INFALLIBLE: May you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility doesn't exist. It's an illusion created by people interested in your wallet. If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible grace-for yourself, and for everyone around you. AGE DEFYING: Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but your soul is ageless. It will always know how to play and how to enjoy and how to revel in this one-chance life. May you always defiantly resist the aging of your spirit. FLAWLESS FINISH: Your finish has nothing to do with how your face looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last day. May your years be a preparation for that day. May you be aged by grace, may you grow in wisdom, and may your love become big enough to embrace all people. May your flawiess finish be a peaceful embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be a gift to everyone who cherishes you. Little One, you love everything pink and frilly and I wll surely understand if someday makeup is important to you. But I pray three words will remain more important to you-the last three words you say every night, when I ask the question: "Where are you the most beautiful?" Three words so bright no concealer can cover them. Where are you the most beautiful? On the inside. From my heart to yours, Daddy you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com lolzandtrollz: Psychologist Writes The Most Perfect Letter To His Daughter
Beautiful, Clothes, and Fire: A psychologist goes to Target and after visiting
 the make-up aisle, he decides to write
 this letter to his young daughter:
 Dear Little One,
 As I write this, I'm sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store.
 A friend recently texted me froma different makeup aisle and told me
 it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world. I wanted to
 find out what he meant.
 Flat
 OOOKS
 HAN
 UR LAF
 And now that I'm sitting here, I'm beginning to agree with him. Words
 have power, and the words on display in this aisle have a deep
 power. Words and phrases like:
 Affordably gorgeous,
 Infallible,
 Flawless finish,
 Brilliant strength,
 Liquid power,
 Go nude,
 Age defying,
 Instant age rewind,
 Choose your dream,
 Nearly naked, and
 Natural beauty.
 When you have a daughter you start to realize she's just as strong as
 everyone else in the house-a force to be reckoned with, a soul on
 fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But sitting
 in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won't see her
 that way. Theyll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And
 they'll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or
 influence.
 But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a
 father can begin to compete with the words of the world. Maybe a
 father's words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of
 institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her
 own worthiness and beauty.
 A father's words aren't different words, but they are words with a
 radically different meaning:
 BRILLIANT STRENGTH: May your strength be not in your fingernails
 but in your heat. May you discem in your center who you are, and
 then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world.
 CHOOSE YOUR DREAM: But not from a department store shelf. Find
 the still-quiet place within you. A real dream has been planted there.
 Discover what you want to do in the world. And when you have
 chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope.
 NAKED: The world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep
 them on. But take your gloves off. Pull no punches. Say what is in
 your heart. Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a world that barely
 knows what it means to love itself. Do so nakedly. Openly. With
 abandon.
 INFALLIBLE: May you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility
 doesn't exist. It's an illusion created by people interested in your
 wallet. If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible
 grace-for yourself, and for everyone around you.
 AGE DEFYING: Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but
 your soul is ageless. It will always know how to play and how to enjoy
 and how to revel in this one-chance life. May you always defiantly
 resist the aging of your spirit.
 FLAWLESS FINISH: Your finish has nothing to do with how your face
 looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last
 day. May your years be a preparation for that day. May you be aged
 by grace, may you grow in wisdom, and may your love become big
 enough to embrace all people. May your flawiess finish be a peaceful
 embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be
 a gift to everyone who cherishes you.
 Little One, you love everything pink and frilly and I wll surely
 understand if someday makeup is important to you. But I pray three
 words will remain more important to you-the last three words you
 say every night, when I ask the question: "Where are you the most
 beautiful?" Three words so bright no concealer can cover them.
 Where are you the most beautiful?
 On the inside.
 From my heart to yours,
 Daddy
 you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com
lolzandtrollz:

Psychologist Writes The Most Perfect Letter To His Daughter

lolzandtrollz: Psychologist Writes The Most Perfect Letter To His Daughter

Books, Dating, and Dogs: Keaton Patti Follow eKeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch LAWYER (CONT'D) If so, you can act entitled for money. I'l help. I graduated from lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS. LAWYER (CONT'D) I have been a lawyer for over 35 weekends and I'm currently dating the Bill of Rights for fun. We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1 break its heart. There's nothing we can do. LAWYER (CONT'D) Let me use it to send your asbestos to court. I will wear two suits and I promise to steal the judge's gavel for you The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of gavels pour out. His promise has worth LAWYER (CONT D) My clients never go to jail town We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado LAWYER (CONT 'D) Remember, you don't pay any money unless you pay us money. Call for a free use of phone The phone digits appear. It's your social security number A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this
Books, Dating, and Dogs: Keaton Patti
 Follow
 eKeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of lawyer commercials and then asked it
 to write a lawyer commercial of its own.
 Here is the first page
 LAWYER COMMERCIAL
 INT. FIRM LAW ROOM
 A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books
 are
 very wide. They have eaten too many words
 LAWYER
 Have you been hurt in an accidental
 car? Has the government sold your
 lungs without asking nicely? Are
 you Mesothelioma? Answer me!
 The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the
 justice fruit only lawyers may touch
 LAWYER (CONT'D)
 If so, you can act entitled for
 money. I'l help. I graduated from
 lawn school and all my teachers
 were bitten by dogs
 Words scrol1 across bottom of the screen. These are cases the
 lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, HUSIC TO0
 CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIvORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS.
 LAWYER (CONT'D)
 I have been a lawyer for over 35
 weekends and I'm currently dating
 the Bill of Rights for fun.
 We see the Bill of Rights. It's in love. The lawyer will1
 break its heart. There's nothing we can do.
 LAWYER (CONT'D)
 Let me use it to send your asbestos
 to court. I will wear two suits and
 I promise to steal the judge's
 gavel for you
 The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of
 gavels pour out. His promise has worth
 LAWYER (CONT D)
 My clients never go to jail town
 We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado
 LAWYER (CONT 'D)
 Remember, you don't pay any money
 unless you pay us money. Call for a
 free use of phone
 The phone digits appear. It's your social security number
A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this

A bot watched over 1000 hours of lawyer commercials and then made this