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Smell Like: My enemies smell like friends at first
Smell Like: My enemies smell like friends at first

My enemies smell like friends at first

Smell Like: My enemies smell like friends at first by eljay87skt MORE MEMES
Smell Like: My enemies smell like friends at first by eljay87skt
MORE MEMES

My enemies smell like friends at first by eljay87skt MORE MEMES

Smell Like: Smell like a cowboy
Smell Like: Smell like a cowboy

Smell like a cowboy

Smell Like: Smell like real men by Spicy-Samich MORE MEMES
Smell Like: Smell like real men by Spicy-Samich
MORE MEMES

Smell like real men by Spicy-Samich MORE MEMES

Smell Like: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED of only they taught beauty class like this Best description of sugar scrub ever.
Smell Like: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders
 ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN
 SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR
 NOTEPAD
 THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW
 YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I
 KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE
 FUCKERS
 YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT
 YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN
 THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM
 TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A
 NEWBORN
 sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND
 SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND
 MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART
 OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL
 BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO
 SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL
 THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR
 MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU
 WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM
 SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
 NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED
 PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE
 BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND
 SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS
 VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE
 NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND
 SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A
 HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER
 THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near
 your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really
 important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way
 its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR
 HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS
 WORKING
 NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU
 HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN
 EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN
 BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF
 BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
 GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT
 WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF
 YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS
 CLASS DISMISSED
 of only they taught beauty class like this
Best description of sugar scrub ever.

Best description of sugar scrub ever.

Smell Like: Kaytlyn Marie Stone Great Pyrenees and Their Crazy Antics 3 hrs My beautiful boy! Like Comment gardeninthevoid: thathighclassbitch: how-to-train-your-writer: thathighclassbitch: speciesofleastconcern: teapotsahoy: twentyghosts: queerautism: actualdisasterbi: republicansareahategroup: scifinut: missanthropicprinciple: mcdyke: lesbian-lizards: jimmyfury: iskariotrising: PEOPLE ARE SO CONCERNED ABOUT THIS DOGS MASCULINITY HES A DOG no you don’t understand. People freak the fuck out if you don’t enforce human gender roles on dogs. They get fucking belligerent. I work in a pet store and the number of times people have gotten LIVID with me for not just automatically assuming their dog not only required but personally wanted the most stringent enforcement of human gender norms is mindblowing. People demand dog shampoos that smell “masculine” because “He’s a boy he doesn’t want to smell like flowers” even though he’s a dog and if he had his way he would smell like duck poop. And those shampoos exist! That’s the worst part! There’s enough demand for dog shampoo that smells like Axe body spray that they exist and they sell well. Or the seemingly nice old lady that shouted “PINK! OBVIOUSLY! SHE’S GIRL SHE HATES OTHER COLORS!” at me when i asked what color harness she wanted for her lapdog. Even though her dog can’t actually see the color pink and does not now and will not ever give a single flying dog fart what color her harness is. Even our pets have to deal with our gender socialization bullshit. I work in a pet store. Can confirm. If I don’t know the sex of the dog, and say, I pick up a blue lead to show the customer it’s different uses, I’ll get “well she’s a girl, so” and I’m like? Um? I’m just showing you it’s functions, there’s like 20 different colours here you can choose from? And my manager wants us to separate boys coats/accessories and girl coats/accessories for accessibility for the customers……. like…….? ??????? They’re dogs. This. Is. BULLSHIT.Also, when I worked at a grooming salon, one groomer would bring in her family’s dogs. Poms, the lot of them. They all got bows. Even the boy. He was a goddamn beautiful dog.Customers got mad. About a boy dog wearing bows. A boy dog THAT WAS NOT THEIR DOG wearing bows. Let that sink in. Actually just like a week ago someone got testy with me because I put my female chihuahua in a blue polo shirt and they were like “she’s a girl she looks like a boy in that” and I was just like… She’s a dog. I am so tempted to put the biggest fucking pink bow I can find on my dog and parade him around the neighborhood.  Fuck this gender roles bullshit.  He’s a 12 year old dumbass who sometimes falls down the ONE (1) step on our porch because he gets too excited and forgets that he has back legs that don’t work right (vet says it’s a degenerative nerve thing, common in older labs).  HE WOULD GLADLY ROLL IN HIS OWN SHIT IF WE LET HIM - HE COULDN’T GIVE TWO FUCKS IF HE IS IN A BOW OR A BANDANA, I PROMISE. My puppy wears bandanas sometimes, including a really cute pink one with white hearts that I love. One time this old lady at the park was absolutely BAFFLED that I would put a pink thing on my Boy Dog. Literally accused me of trying to confuse people, asked why I’d put that on him. I was just??? It’s cute and I like it the puppy really couldn’t give less of a shit My cat Duarte is male and he wears a pink collar with a tag that says “Beautiful Angel Princess” on the side that doesn’t have my contact info, because he’s my beautiful angel princess obv, and it throws the vet staff for a LOOP every time People get upset when I walk boy dogs with my hot pink leash (because I lose leashes, so I like them highly visible.Like, one, maybe this dog has Victorian gender norms, and considers pink very masculine? two: it’s not the dog’s leash, it’s mine. People putting gender norms on house pets is wild. They’re just living cuddle bears they don’t have gender. The person who grooms our dog always puts little bows on his harness. Adorable. OH NO, NUGGET! TAKE THAT SHIRT OFF. THAT’S NOT M A N L Y, NUGGET! OH NO HE’S WEARING AIRPODS HE CAN’T HEAR ME OH NO!  Oh n o oh gfpd I’m shahmking I m cr yjiing i was so fucking angry reading this post and then you blessed me with nugget
Smell Like: Kaytlyn Marie Stone Great Pyrenees and Their Crazy
 Antics
 3 hrs
 My beautiful boy!
 Like
 Comment
gardeninthevoid:

thathighclassbitch:

how-to-train-your-writer:


thathighclassbitch:

speciesofleastconcern:

teapotsahoy:

twentyghosts:

queerautism:

actualdisasterbi:

republicansareahategroup:

scifinut:


missanthropicprinciple:

mcdyke:

lesbian-lizards:


jimmyfury:

iskariotrising:

PEOPLE ARE SO CONCERNED ABOUT THIS DOGS MASCULINITY
HES A DOG

no you don’t understand. People freak the fuck out if you don’t enforce human gender roles on dogs. They get fucking belligerent. I work in a pet store and the number of times people have gotten LIVID with me for not just automatically assuming their dog not only required but personally wanted the most stringent enforcement of human gender norms is mindblowing.
People demand dog shampoos that smell “masculine” because “He’s a boy he doesn’t want to smell like flowers” even though he’s a dog and if he had his way he would smell like duck poop. And those shampoos exist! That’s the worst part! There’s enough demand for dog shampoo that smells like Axe body spray that they exist and they sell well.
Or the seemingly nice old lady that shouted “PINK! OBVIOUSLY! SHE’S GIRL SHE HATES OTHER COLORS!” at me when i asked what color harness she wanted for her lapdog. Even though her dog can’t actually see the color pink and does not now and will not ever give a single flying dog fart what color her harness is.

Even our pets have to deal with our gender socialization bullshit.


I work in a pet store. Can confirm. If I don’t know the sex of the dog, and say, I pick up a blue lead to show the customer it’s different uses, I’ll get “well she’s a girl, so” and I’m like? Um? I’m just showing you it’s functions, there’s like 20 different colours here you can choose from? 
And my manager wants us to separate boys coats/accessories and girl coats/accessories for accessibility for the customers……. like…….?

??????? They’re dogs.

This. Is. BULLSHIT.Also, when I worked at a grooming salon, one groomer would bring in her family’s dogs. Poms, the lot of them. They all got bows. Even the boy. He was a goddamn beautiful dog.Customers got mad. About a boy dog wearing bows. A boy dog THAT WAS NOT THEIR DOG wearing bows. Let that sink in.


Actually just like a week ago someone got testy with me because I put my female chihuahua in a blue polo shirt and they were like “she’s a girl she looks like a boy in that” and I was just like… She’s a dog.

I am so tempted to put the biggest fucking pink bow I can find on my dog and parade him around the neighborhood. 
Fuck this gender roles bullshit.  He’s a 12 year old dumbass who sometimes falls down the ONE (1) step on our porch because he gets too excited and forgets that he has back legs that don’t work right (vet says it’s a degenerative nerve thing, common in older labs).  HE WOULD GLADLY ROLL IN HIS OWN SHIT IF WE LET HIM - HE COULDN’T GIVE TWO FUCKS IF HE IS IN A BOW OR A BANDANA, I PROMISE.


My puppy wears bandanas sometimes, including a really cute pink one with white hearts that I love. One time this old lady at the park was absolutely BAFFLED that I would put a pink thing on my Boy Dog. Literally accused me of trying to confuse people, asked why I’d put that on him. I was just??? It’s cute and I like it the puppy really couldn’t give less of a shit 

My cat Duarte is male and he wears a pink collar with a tag that says “Beautiful Angel Princess” on the side that doesn’t have my contact info, because he’s my beautiful angel princess obv, and it throws the vet staff for a LOOP every time

People get upset when I walk boy dogs with my hot pink leash (because I lose leashes, so I like them highly visible.Like, 
one, maybe this dog has Victorian gender norms, and considers pink very masculine? two: it’s not the dog’s leash, it’s mine.

People putting gender norms on house pets is wild. They’re just living cuddle bears they don’t have gender.


The person who grooms our dog always puts little bows on his harness. Adorable. 

OH NO, NUGGET! TAKE THAT SHIRT OFF. THAT’S NOT M A N L Y, NUGGET!
OH NO HE’S WEARING AIRPODS HE CAN’T HEAR ME OH NO! 


Oh n o oh gfpd I’m shahmking I m cr yjiing

i was so fucking angry reading this post and then you blessed me with nugget

gardeninthevoid: thathighclassbitch: how-to-train-your-writer: thathighclassbitch: speciesofleastconcern: teapotsahoy: twentyghost...