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Beard, Benadryl, and Bless Up: u/bofstein . 2d. imgur I asked to be seated next to the cutest guy on the plane @DrSmashlove Now see a lot of people on airplanes bruv, they tryina dodge oversized people. They ain’t tryina spend the whole flight shmushed. I feel that. I understand that. But me? Aw hell nah. Big ladies y’all always welcome to sit next to smash. Call me Negan baby girl - leather biker jacket with the beard - let me be yo Sanctuary 🤗😂. Hell I even ask if she wanna raise the divider. Divider actually make it worse! Sh!t be causing flesh to intrude into my space unnaturally. Pokes me awkwardly and makes me hella uncomfortable, nah IDGAF Mama melt into me, invade my space, fall asleep on my shoulder, just get comfortable. And the last time I offered, ol girl did it, too. Schlept like he just popped two Benadryl slobbering on my damn shoulder. Flight attendant talmbout “do you know what your friend wants to drink when she wakes up?” I’m like “I don’t know this woman!! Anyway Diet Coke tho I’m pretty sure she like Diet Coke Issa wild guess yes just poe it up pls thank you” 😂. Did her snore sound like the groans of a wild warthog with a fractured leg bone bruv? Yes. Did I mind? No sir. I’m an ally to the big girls. Bring yo curvaceous, aggressive deodorant scented essence here guh it’s plenty room for both of us. I squat all damn day at the gym, my thigh musculature enjoys the company of a soft, supple flight companion 🤗😂. Now I know what y’all thinking: “SMASH YOUR FANTASIES ARE OVERBOARD, THIS DIDN’T HAPPEN”. Question: if my stories was made up, wouldn’t I try to say I used to date Halle Berry or some sh!t? Chilli from TLC? I mean...wouldn’t I tell a lie that boosts my ego? Nah. Never. My story is my story. BIG GIRLS REST THEY WEARY HEAD ON MY SHOULDER. FACTS, B - DEAL WITH IT - BIG GIRLS I LOVE YALL, U NEVER HAVE TO SHEEPISHLY ASK IF MY MAN BAG PURSE SATCHEL IS SAVING THE SEAT FOR SOMEONE ELSE - IT’S SAVING IT FOR YOUR DELIGHTFULLY ROTUND A$$ — HAVE A SEAT MAMA, I BELIEVE WE CAN FLY - BLESS UP 🤗😍😂😂😂
Beard, Benadryl, and Bless Up: u/bofstein . 2d. imgur
 I asked to be seated next to the cutest guy
 on the plane
 @DrSmashlove
Now see a lot of people on airplanes bruv, they tryina dodge oversized people. They ain’t tryina spend the whole flight shmushed. I feel that. I understand that. But me? Aw hell nah. Big ladies y’all always welcome to sit next to smash. Call me Negan baby girl - leather biker jacket with the beard - let me be yo Sanctuary 🤗😂. Hell I even ask if she wanna raise the divider. Divider actually make it worse! Sh!t be causing flesh to intrude into my space unnaturally. Pokes me awkwardly and makes me hella uncomfortable, nah IDGAF Mama melt into me, invade my space, fall asleep on my shoulder, just get comfortable. And the last time I offered, ol girl did it, too. Schlept like he just popped two Benadryl slobbering on my damn shoulder. Flight attendant talmbout “do you know what your friend wants to drink when she wakes up?” I’m like “I don’t know this woman!! Anyway Diet Coke tho I’m pretty sure she like Diet Coke Issa wild guess yes just poe it up pls thank you” 😂. Did her snore sound like the groans of a wild warthog with a fractured leg bone bruv? Yes. Did I mind? No sir. I’m an ally to the big girls. Bring yo curvaceous, aggressive deodorant scented essence here guh it’s plenty room for both of us. I squat all damn day at the gym, my thigh musculature enjoys the company of a soft, supple flight companion 🤗😂. Now I know what y’all thinking: “SMASH YOUR FANTASIES ARE OVERBOARD, THIS DIDN’T HAPPEN”. Question: if my stories was made up, wouldn’t I try to say I used to date Halle Berry or some sh!t? Chilli from TLC? I mean...wouldn’t I tell a lie that boosts my ego? Nah. Never. My story is my story. BIG GIRLS REST THEY WEARY HEAD ON MY SHOULDER. FACTS, B - DEAL WITH IT - BIG GIRLS I LOVE YALL, U NEVER HAVE TO SHEEPISHLY ASK IF MY MAN BAG PURSE SATCHEL IS SAVING THE SEAT FOR SOMEONE ELSE - IT’S SAVING IT FOR YOUR DELIGHTFULLY ROTUND A$$ — HAVE A SEAT MAMA, I BELIEVE WE CAN FLY - BLESS UP 🤗😍😂😂😂

Now see a lot of people on airplanes bruv, they tryina dodge oversized people. They ain’t tryina spend the whole flight shmushed. I feel tha...

Being Alone, Ass, and Bad: I'm a 21 year-old male. I was out running my 2 miles. Headphones in, music playing, minding my own business. I round the corner at about the halfway point of the run and I see this big black duck looking at me. As I get closer, think to myself, "Man, that's a brave duck, why isn't he running away?" I keep running and realize the duck not only isn't afraid of me or running away, he's running right at me. So I stop and squat down, thinking maybe he was hurt and needed help or something. This bitch ass giant fucking black duck takes a huge bite out of my leg. Like, not playing, drew blood kinda bite I'm thinking to myself, "What the fuck?" So I'm like, maybe he's just an asshole and I keep running think he will leave me alone. I start running again and the faster Irun, the faster he chases me. I start sprinting and he is literally flying behind me attacking me. I'm thinking, "Ive got enough fucking problems in my life as it is man, I dont need this shit so I stop running again kinda like in disbelief trying to figure out what to do. In all my years of being a person, Ive never trained for this This little punk ass duck is chomping on my ankles and it's actually really hurting. He starts grabbing my shoelaces and untying them as I'm trying to run backwards away from him. Weve covered a quarter mile at this point. I try picking him up and throwing him back away from me every time he lunges for blood. I'm thinking, "How the fuck am I gonna explain this if I have to go to the doctor for a duck attack? I'm a grown ass man. This isbullshit." I try running again and he keeps flying after me. I'm at a loss. I dont know what to do at this point. I'm manage to get my phone and start texting my girlfriend, asking her what to do. Am I really gonna have to kill this duck to get away? Like, I don't want to, but I might have to actually fucking kick this duck or grab it by the neck? Seriously?" We have covered 3/4 of a mile at this point. He bites me again and I drop my phone. I pick it up quickly. Who do I call? I've got fucking scars and cuts all over me. While I'm debating whether stand-your-ground laws apply to ducks, I hear a noise; Someone else was outside walking on an adjacent street and came to see what all of the commotion was This was a big mistake. The duck smelled blood, and gave up attacking me to chase after my savior. I saw my window and booked it home running the last half mile in 2:50 flat. I feel kinda bad, that duck has probably killed that dude by now. The last saw of him was the look I took over my shoulder running away as he made the same mistake I did, looking down to see if the duck was hurt worth the read
Being Alone, Ass, and Bad: I'm a 21 year-old male. I was out running my 2 miles. Headphones in, music playing, minding my own
 business. I round the corner at about the halfway point of the run and I see this big black duck looking at
 me. As I get closer, think to myself, "Man, that's a brave duck, why isn't he running away?" I keep running
 and realize the duck not only isn't afraid of me or running away, he's running right at me. So I stop and
 squat down, thinking maybe he was hurt and needed help or something. This bitch ass giant fucking black
 duck takes a huge bite out of my leg. Like, not playing, drew blood kinda bite
 I'm thinking to myself, "What the fuck?" So I'm like, maybe he's just an asshole and I keep running think he
 will leave me alone. I start running again and the faster Irun, the faster he chases me. I start sprinting and
 he is literally flying behind me attacking me. I'm thinking, "Ive got enough fucking problems in my life as it is
 man, I dont need this shit so I stop running again kinda like in disbelief trying to figure out what to do. In all
 my years of being a person, Ive never trained for this
 This little punk ass duck is chomping on my ankles and it's actually really hurting. He starts grabbing my
 shoelaces and untying them as I'm trying to run backwards away from him. Weve covered a quarter mile at
 this point. I try picking him up and throwing him back away from me every time he lunges for blood. I'm
 thinking, "How the fuck am I gonna explain this if I have to go to the doctor for a duck attack? I'm a grown
 ass man. This isbullshit."
 I try running again and he keeps flying after me. I'm at a loss. I dont know what to do at this point. I'm
 manage to get my phone and start texting my girlfriend, asking her what to do. Am I really gonna have to
 kill this duck to get away? Like, I don't want to, but I might have to actually fucking kick this duck or grab it
 by the neck? Seriously?" We have covered 3/4 of a mile at this point. He bites me again and I drop my
 phone. I pick it up quickly. Who do I call? I've got fucking scars and cuts all over me. While I'm debating
 whether stand-your-ground laws apply to ducks, I hear a noise; Someone else was outside walking on an
 adjacent street and came to see what all of the commotion was
 This was a big mistake. The duck smelled blood, and gave up attacking me to chase after my savior. I saw
 my window and booked it home running the last half mile in 2:50 flat. I feel kinda bad, that duck has
 probably killed that dude by now. The last saw of him was the look I took over my shoulder running away
 as he made the same mistake I did, looking down to see if the duck was hurt
worth the read

worth the read

Boxing, Funny, and Love: "You look like you lost weight, what's your secret?" Me: UCKIN IS MY CARDIO SLUT/IFUNNY .. 💥💥💥 . .. 🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♂️.. 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 FOLLOW US . ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️ 🔥🔥@bodybuilding_humour 🔥🔥 ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ ... workout bodybuilding gymmemes crossfit strong motivation instalike powerlifting Quote quotes gymhumour deadlift squat bench love gymhumour funny joke legday instagood fitspo motivation girlswholift fitchick mma boxing ufc
Boxing, Funny, and Love: "You look like you lost weight, what's
 your secret?"
 Me:
 UCKIN
 IS MY
 CARDIO
 SLUT/IFUNNY
.. 💥💥💥 . .. 🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♂️.. 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 FOLLOW US . ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️ 🔥🔥@bodybuilding_humour 🔥🔥 ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ ... workout bodybuilding gymmemes crossfit strong motivation instalike powerlifting Quote quotes gymhumour deadlift squat bench love gymhumour funny joke legday instagood fitspo motivation girlswholift fitchick mma boxing ufc

.. 💥💥💥 . .. 🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♂️.. 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 FOLLOW US . ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️ 🔥🔥@bodybuilding_humour 🔥🔥 ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ ... worko...