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Shopping, Soon..., and At&t: Paul The Trombonist @JazzTrombonist I accidentally texted my wife with voice recognition...while playing the trombone co0 AT&T Wi-Fi ? 1 80 1* 79% 3:34 PM 000 AT&T Wi-Fi ? 3:36 PM Deta Messages (3) DI Messages (3) Paul Paul Del iMessage Today 3:27 PM (1/5) Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo Totally! Ya, that makes sense. Call you woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo w hoo w woop soon Sounds good! (2/5) 00 woo woo woo woo hoo woo perfect hoo who who who who who who wu woo woo woo woop woop woop woop woo woop wah wah waa what wapp whapp woo woo woo we should probably go grocery shopping later (3/5) woop woop wah wah wah woo woo woo wah woo wha waa waa woop woop woop wwop woop woop whap wah wah woh wa wa wa whh woo woo Deliver (1/5) Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo (4/5) woop woop wah wah wah waaa woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo w hoo w woop waa waa waa waa waa waa waa woo woo woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop (2/5) 00 woo woo woo woo hoo woo hoo who who who who who who wu woop woop woop woop woop woop woop waa waa waa waa waaaaa waaa woo woo w0o woop woop woop woop woo woop wah wah waa what wapp whapp woo woo woo waaa waa (5/5) woop woop wah wah wah woo woo woo wah woo wha waa waa woop (3/5) woop woop wah wah wah woo woo woo wah woo wha waa waa woop woop woop wwop woop woop whap wah wah woh wa wa wa whh woo woo woop woop wwop woop woop whap woo00 woo won IMessage IMessage ITHE TROMBONILT Me irl
Shopping, Soon..., and At&t: Paul The Trombonist
 @JazzTrombonist
 I accidentally texted my wife with
 voice recognition...while playing the
 trombone
 co0 AT&T Wi-Fi ?
 1 80
 1* 79%
 3:34 PM
 000 AT&T Wi-Fi ?
 3:36 PM
 Deta Messages (3)
 DI
 Messages (3)
 Paul
 Paul
 Del
 iMessage
 Today 3:27 PM
 (1/5) Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo
 hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
 Totally! Ya, that makes sense. Call you
 woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo
 woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo
 woo w hoo w woop
 soon
 Sounds good!
 (2/5) 00 woo woo woo woo hoo woo
 perfect
 hoo who who who who who who wu
 woo woo woo woop woop woop woop
 woo woop wah wah waa what wapp
 whapp woo woo woo
 we should probably go grocery
 shopping later
 (3/5) woop woop wah wah wah woo
 woo woo wah woo wha waa waa woop
 woop woop wwop woop woop whap
 wah wah woh wa wa wa whh woo woo
 Deliver
 (1/5) Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo
 hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
 (4/5) woop woop wah wah wah waaa
 woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo
 woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo
 woo w hoo w woop
 waa waa waa waa waa waa waa woo
 woo woop woop woop woop woop
 woop woop woop woop woop woop
 woop woop woop woop woop woop
 (2/5) 00 woo woo woo woo hoo woo
 hoo who who who who who who wu
 woop woop woop woop woop woop
 woop waa waa waa waa waaaaa waaa
 woo woo w0o woop woop woop woop
 woo woop wah wah waa what wapp
 whapp woo woo woo
 waaa waa
 (5/5) woop woop wah wah wah woo
 woo woo wah woo wha waa waa woop
 (3/5) woop woop wah wah wah woo
 woo woo wah woo wha waa waa woop
 woop woop wwop woop woop whap
 wah wah woh wa wa wa whh woo woo
 woop woop wwop woop woop whap
 woo00 woo won
 IMessage
 IMessage
 ITHE TROMBONILT
Me irl

Me irl

Funny, Mrw, and Teacher: MRW the weird biology teacher makes a genuinely funny joke that makes the whole room laugh
Funny, Mrw, and Teacher: MRW the weird biology teacher makes a genuinely funny joke that makes the whole room laugh

MRW the weird biology teacher makes a genuinely funny joke that makes the whole room laugh

Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfun: teafortrouble: eteo: fall-for-nothing: trickster-eridan: buttpilgrim: scientificperfection: kittiesinthemorning: I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟ it’s back Satan lemon every villain is lemons And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit. And now: The Weather. This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses? @botanyshitposts do you know about this? a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.  im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.  @gallusrostromegalus WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE! The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens. All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this: It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit. YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch. Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns. If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you. GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual. Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice! @motorizedduck relevant
Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod:
rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me
they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway. 
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit. 


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

relevant

arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfu...

Chill, Cute, and Head: dombinic why do they always show cranberries in thos big pits n its implied its wet and possibly swimmable. do cranberries really grow like that. wh thetaobella You've never heard of The Bog? heartachedreamboy th the what heartachedreamboy #i forget some people dont understand massachusetts EACH ADDITION TO THIS POST MAKES MY BLOOD RUN COLD punkrorschach This is a cranberry bog (unflooded) it's how cranberries grow. Once they're ripe, the blog is flooded and the cranberries harvested. Basically by using big floaty things to round them all up and then scooping them out of the water. heartachedreamboy thank u. i hate it a little less but the horrible little man in my head is still screaming "BOG BODY BOG BODY BOG BODY", but i appreciate the education, bomberqueen17 oh here is a fun lil perspective on cranberry harvesting i never heard about anywhere else. the guy who owns the restaurant right down the road from the farm, who fries our chickens sometimes, is from Boston, with the strongest Boston accent ever, and in a former life before he started slinging reasonably priced barbeque and occasional organic chicken, he was a cranberry farmer. His farm was on the leading edge of kinda using organic/sustainable pest control methods, and one of the things that they did to keep insect damage down was that they encouraged wolf spiders to live in the cranberry field, to eat the bugs. This was all fine and good until they flooded the bog Now, you don't just like flood the bog and then go around it in a boat or whatever. No, you use hip waders to get in there and put the big floaty things where they go and get all the berries and such. Well when you're in the bog in hip waders, that makes you the tallest thing. Wolf spiders can swim a bit, but they don't like it, so they're, quite understandably, looking to climb out of the water onto a tall thing. So yeah the first interview question he always asked potential cranberry bog harvester hires was "are you cool with spiders?" "You'd be amazed," he said to us, shaking his head a little, "how many guys would just straight lie. Like, you think I'm asking you that question to be cute? Nah man you're gonna have like a hundred wolf spiders trying to climb your eyebrows, you gotta be chill, those wolf spiders are fellow employees. You really gotta be chill with spiders if you're gonna work a cranberry harvest." 129,044 notes The Berry Bog
Chill, Cute, and Head: dombinic
 why do they always show cranberries in thos big pits
 n its implied its wet and possibly swimmable. do
 cranberries really grow like that. wh
 thetaobella
 You've never heard of The Bog?
 heartachedreamboy
 th
 the what
 heartachedreamboy
 #i forget some people dont understand
 massachusetts
 EACH ADDITION TO THIS POST
 MAKES MY BLOOD RUN COLD
 punkrorschach
 This is a cranberry bog (unflooded) it's how
 cranberries grow. Once they're ripe, the blog is
 flooded and the cranberries harvested.
 Basically by using big floaty things to round them all
 up and then scooping them out of the water.
 heartachedreamboy
 thank u. i hate it a little less but the horrible little man
 in my head is still screaming "BOG BODY BOG BODY
 BOG BODY", but i appreciate the education,
 bomberqueen17
 oh here is a fun lil perspective on cranberry
 harvesting i never heard about anywhere else. the
 guy who owns the restaurant right down the road
 from the farm, who fries our chickens sometimes, is
 from Boston, with the strongest Boston accent ever,
 and in a former life before he started slinging
 reasonably priced barbeque and occasional organic
 chicken, he was a cranberry farmer.
 His farm was on the leading edge of kinda using
 organic/sustainable pest control methods, and one
 of the things that they did to keep insect damage
 down was that they encouraged wolf spiders to live
 in the cranberry field, to eat the bugs.
 This was all fine and good until they flooded the bog
 Now, you don't just like flood the bog and then go
 around it in a boat or whatever. No, you use hip
 waders to get in there and put the big floaty things
 where they go and get all the berries and such.
 Well when you're in the bog in hip waders, that
 makes you the tallest thing. Wolf spiders can swim a
 bit, but they don't like it, so they're, quite
 understandably, looking to climb out of the water
 onto a tall thing.
 So yeah the first interview question he always asked
 potential cranberry bog harvester hires was "are you
 cool with spiders?"
 "You'd be amazed," he said to us, shaking his head a
 little, "how many guys would just straight lie. Like,
 you think I'm asking you that question to be cute?
 Nah man you're gonna have like a hundred wolf
 spiders trying to climb your eyebrows, you gotta be
 chill, those wolf spiders are fellow employees. You
 really gotta be chill with spiders if you're gonna work
 a cranberry harvest."
 129,044 notes
The Berry Bog

The Berry Bog