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Comfortable, Dude, and Dumb: Insomnia Adventures u/Oceanundertow Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago Get startled by phone ringing It's one of my players Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?" Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?" OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot." Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them." NaniTheFuck.mp3 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?" Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler." Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure." Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker." Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon." Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!" I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?" Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises) I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night. Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him I am the dumb dumb mister. positive-memes:Bed time stories
Comfortable, Dude, and Dumb: Insomnia Adventures
 u/Oceanundertow
 Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
 Get startled by phone ringing
 It's one of my players
 Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
 Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a
 favor?"
 OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
 Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
 Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick
 story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the
 recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my
 laptop at the office so I can't play them."
 NaniTheFuck.mp3
 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?"
 Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC
 acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess
 Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler."
 Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
 Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to
 her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker."
 Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon."
 Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"
 I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
 Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS
 ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went
 deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?"
 Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
 I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story
 over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she
 eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and
 says he'll see me on game night.
 Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable
 for once. I should have thanked him
 I am the dumb dumb mister.
positive-memes:Bed time stories

positive-memes:Bed time stories

America, Children, and cnn.com: ICE Follow ICE @ICEgov ICE is committed to upholding an immigration detention system that prioritizes the health, safety, and welfare of all of those in our care in custody, including LGBTI individuals. (6/) Niece 6:05 AM 13 Jun 2019 76 Retweets 304 Likes Hot Spinster Bot Follow @glit_chh During the height of Nazi Germany, Fascists dispersed propaganda videos like Theresienstadt Soccer Matches to refute rumors of viscous crimes In 1943, the Office of War released footage that painted Japanese Internment camps as "normal communities" We've been fed this story. ICE @ICEgov ICE is committed to upholding an immigration detention system that prioritizes the health, safety, and welfare of all of those in our care in custody, including LGBTI individuals. (6/ Show this thread 8:39 AM 14 Jun 2019 8,859 Retweets 14,041 Likes Zachary Fox Follow @zackfox I know this is bullshit propaganda cuz a mf in the first pic got on headphones plugged into absolutely nothing, fuck y'all ICE@ICEGOV ICE is committed to upholding immigration detention system an that prioritizes the health, safety, and welfare of all of those in our care in custody, including LGBTI individuals. (6/) Show this thread 1:23 AM - 16 Jun 2019 11,283 Retweets 46,837 Likes bogleech: unexpectedyarns: 3fluffies: gahdamnpunk: Why are they trying to be likeable? Ain’t nobody gonna believe them America is operating concentration camps.  There’s no getting around it.  Here’s what those places are actually like: https://www.cnn.com/2019/06/06/politics/ice-detention-center-ig-report/index.html https://www.cnn.com/2019/06/05/politics/hhs-activities-unaccompanied-children/index.html https://www.cnn.com/2019/05/14/politics/border-patrol-mcallen-texas-pictures/index.html https://www.cnn.com/2018/12/31/us/arizona-migrant-child-abuse-allegations-shelter/index.html Why isn’t America being investigated by the UN for war crimes?  Because America’s military force is larger than the next five biggest powers on the planet. Every country is terrified of us. The people of almost every country consider us the biggest threat to their freedom and they’re right.
America, Children, and cnn.com: ICE
 Follow
 ICE @ICEgov
 ICE is committed to upholding an
 immigration detention system that
 prioritizes the health, safety, and welfare
 of all of those in our care in custody,
 including LGBTI individuals. (6/)
 Niece
 6:05 AM 13 Jun 2019
 76 Retweets 304 Likes

 Hot Spinster Bot
 Follow
 @glit_chh
 During the height of Nazi Germany,
 Fascists dispersed propaganda videos
 like Theresienstadt Soccer Matches to
 refute rumors of viscous crimes
 In 1943, the Office of War released
 footage that painted Japanese
 Internment camps as "normal
 communities"
 We've been fed this story.
 ICE @ICEgov
 ICE is committed to upholding an immigration
 detention system that prioritizes the health, safety, and
 welfare of all of those in our care in custody, including
 LGBTI individuals. (6/
 Show this thread
 8:39 AM 14 Jun 2019
 8,859 Retweets 14,041 Likes

 Zachary Fox
 Follow
 @zackfox
 I know this is bullshit propaganda cuz a mf in
 the first pic got on headphones plugged into
 absolutely nothing, fuck y'all
 ICE@ICEGOV
 ICE is committed to upholding
 immigration detention system
 an
 that prioritizes the health, safety, and welfare of all of those in our
 care in custody, including LGBTI individuals. (6/)
 Show this thread
 1:23 AM
 - 16 Jun 2019
 11,283 Retweets 46,837 Likes
bogleech:

unexpectedyarns:

3fluffies:

gahdamnpunk:
Why are they trying to be likeable? Ain’t nobody gonna believe them
America is operating concentration camps.  There’s no getting around it.  Here’s what those places are actually like:
https://www.cnn.com/2019/06/06/politics/ice-detention-center-ig-report/index.html
https://www.cnn.com/2019/06/05/politics/hhs-activities-unaccompanied-children/index.html
https://www.cnn.com/2019/05/14/politics/border-patrol-mcallen-texas-pictures/index.html
https://www.cnn.com/2018/12/31/us/arizona-migrant-child-abuse-allegations-shelter/index.html

Why isn’t America being investigated by the UN for war crimes? 

Because America’s military force is larger than the next five biggest powers on the planet. Every country is terrified of us. The people of almost every country consider us the biggest threat to their freedom and they’re right.

bogleech: unexpectedyarns: 3fluffies: gahdamnpunk: Why are they trying to be likeable? Ain’t nobody gonna believe them America is operati...