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The Prophecy: The prophecy told of the one who was actually interested
The Prophecy: The prophecy told of the one who was actually interested

The prophecy told of the one who was actually interested

The Prophecy: lostlittlenerd: *Me who used to play Plague Inc. and knew that Greenland would be the country to survive*: As the prophecy foretold.
The Prophecy: lostlittlenerd:
*Me who used to play Plague Inc. and knew that Greenland would be the country to survive*: As the prophecy foretold.

lostlittlenerd: *Me who used to play Plague Inc. and knew that Greenland would be the country to survive*: As the prophecy foretold.

The Prophecy: lostlittlenerd: *Me who used to play Plague Inc. and knew that Greenland would be the country to survive*: As the prophecy foretold.
The Prophecy: lostlittlenerd:
*Me who used to play Plague Inc. and knew that Greenland would be the country to survive*: As the prophecy foretold.

lostlittlenerd: *Me who used to play Plague Inc. and knew that Greenland would be the country to survive*: As the prophecy foretold.

The Prophecy: The prophecy is true!
The Prophecy: The prophecy is true!

The prophecy is true!

The Prophecy: The prophecy is true!
The Prophecy: The prophecy is true!

The prophecy is true!

The Prophecy: filthygrandpa: the prophecy was true
The Prophecy: filthygrandpa:

the prophecy was true

filthygrandpa: the prophecy was true

The Prophecy: marauders4evr I still say the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter was that there wasn't a scene where Hermione found 16 year old Harry in a shopping cart on top of the Astronomy Tower while 16 year old Ron stood by with Colin's camera because if the prophecy says that he has to die via Voldemort then that means nothing else can kill him ergo there's no way this could possibly go wrong... marauders4evr spaceship-amie honestly the MOMENT harry found out about the prophecy he should've created a wizards jackass Harry: Owill now drink eightglasses of milkin threeminutes. Hermione: Nope! Nonyou won't! No, you won't. trickstergames @blackkatmagic joisbishmyoga 1. Hermione does not need the extra stress, she's already a frazzled mess from her academics, poor kid 2. Suddenly I realize how very much JKR (and, admittedly, a lot of the rest of us) have forgotten about being teenagers milkshakesandknives But, we all know Slytherins get involved too. Mainly because Draco has the mindset of "anything potter can do, I can do better!" the ean't) But, I'll it would take is for Harry to say is "scared Malfoy?" and there Draco is in a shopping cart next to Potter ready to race down the astronomy tower themiscyra1983 "DRACO EVEN IF HARRY IS RIGHT IN HIS ABSOLUTELY DAFT INTERPRETATION OF PROPHECY, THE PROPHECY DOESN'T COVER YOU" "LEAVE IT, Granger, I'm DOING this" "HE'S DOING THIS HERMIONE" marauders4evr YES THESE ARE THE QUALITY ADDITIONS I WANT ON MY POSTS! marauders4evr died-by-gendering replied to your post: I still say the most unrealistic part Aa I Except that Dumbledore told Hary that not all prophecies come true Draco and Harry, already halfway down the tower with no chance of stopping or slowing down: He said WHA mzuul I had to draw it.. PAWN
The Prophecy: marauders4evr
 I still say the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter was that there
 wasn't a scene where Hermione found 16 year old Harry in a
 shopping cart on top of the Astronomy Tower while 16 year old Ron
 stood by with Colin's camera because if the prophecy says that he
 has to die via Voldemort then that means nothing else can kill him
 ergo there's no way this could possibly go wrong...
 marauders4evr
 spaceship-amie
 honestly the MOMENT harry
 found out about the prophecy
 he should've created a
 wizards jackass
 Harry:
 Owill now drink eightglasses
 of milkin threeminutes.
 Hermione:
 Nope! Nonyou won't!
 No, you won't.
 trickstergames
 @blackkatmagic
 joisbishmyoga
 1. Hermione does not need the extra stress, she's already a frazzled
 mess from her academics, poor kid
 2. Suddenly I realize how very much JKR (and, admittedly, a lot of
 the rest of us) have forgotten about being teenagers
 milkshakesandknives
 But, we all know Slytherins get involved too. Mainly because Draco
 has the mindset of "anything potter can do, I can do better!" the
 ean't)
 But, I'll it would take is for Harry to say is "scared Malfoy?"
 and there Draco is in a shopping cart next to Potter ready to race
 down the astronomy tower
 themiscyra1983
 "DRACO EVEN IF HARRY IS RIGHT IN HIS ABSOLUTELY DAFT
 INTERPRETATION OF PROPHECY, THE PROPHECY DOESN'T
 COVER YOU"
 "LEAVE IT, Granger, I'm DOING this"
 "HE'S DOING THIS HERMIONE"
 marauders4evr
 YES
 THESE ARE THE QUALITY ADDITIONS I WANT ON MY POSTS!
 marauders4evr
 died-by-gendering replied to your post: I still say the most unrealistic part
 Aa
 I Except that Dumbledore told Hary that not all prophecies come true
 Draco and Harry, already halfway down the tower with no
 chance of stopping or slowing down: He said WHA
 mzuul
 I had to draw it..
 PAWN

The Prophecy: cacen so at the bar in which I work, there's an unofficial rule that all of our door staff must have names that start with D or rhyme with 'doorman', which has led to me be- friending a trio of six foot four men with beards called Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Dan now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the abso- lute love of my life. I don't care that he's a decade older than me and has a fiance. you know when someone is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they're simply referred to as 'a character? that's Doorman Dan. now, before I get into his personality, let's describe his appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scand inavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now, add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper. that's Doorman Dan. since meeting him last year, I've discovered .he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that said 'shit happens' on his left arsecheek, so when he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called Junkie Jeff at 9AM .he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months while he was in the army, and was complet unaware they had broken up until he wishe happy Christmas and she responded with what the fuck Dan .accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for thirty-six hours .he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay, and instead of jumping in and fighting back he decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out and ran off .he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a month for 'mystery adventures', one of which has resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed inside any John Lewis shops .he is convinced the love of his life is not his fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: "TII know when I meet him. .he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless they follow him his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even proposed. "I don't even know if I'm invited, truth be told." when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he didn't want to intrude so he just gently knocked on the door and asked if they'd like a snack . .he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail called Doorman's Sunrise because he feels left out being the only person on the dance floor without a drink when he's patrolling the bar I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him cacen BIG OL UPDATE: HE GOT MARRIED LAST WEEK!!!! zohbugg I need 10 seasons and a movie about the life of Doorman Dan thecheshirecass I look forward to reading more about the loving, polyamorous relationship he and his wife develop with Ned when they finally meet. fuckveahdiomedes What's the instagram for the rabbits, op? Source: cacen 114,993 notes The adventures of doorman dan
The Prophecy: cacen
 so at the bar in which I work, there's an unofficial rule
 that all of our door staff must have names that start
 with D or rhyme with 'doorman', which has led to me be-
 friending a trio of six foot four men with beards called
 Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Dan
 now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the abso-
 lute love of my life. I don't care that he's a decade older
 than me and has a fiance. you know when someone
 is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they're
 simply referred to as 'a character? that's Doorman Dan.
 now, before I get into his personality, let's describe his
 appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scand
 inavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now,
 add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper.
 that's Doorman Dan.
 since meeting him last year, I've discovered
 .he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that
 said 'shit happens' on his left arsecheek, so when
 he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy
 and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called
 Junkie Jeff at 9AM
 .he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months
 while he was in the army, and was complet
 unaware they had broken up until he wishe
 happy Christmas and she responded with what the
 fuck Dan
 .accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for
 thirty-six hours
 .he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay,
 and instead of jumping in and fighting back he
 decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand
 in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out
 and ran off
 .he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a
 month for 'mystery adventures', one of which has
 resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed
 inside any John Lewis shops
 .he is convinced the love of his life is not his
 fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked
 who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: "TII
 know when I meet him.
 .he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet
 rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless
 they follow him
 his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even
 proposed. "I don't even know if I'm invited, truth be
 told."
 when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he
 didn't want to intrude so he just gently knocked on
 the door and asked if they'd like a snack
 .
 .he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail
 called Doorman's Sunrise because he feels left out
 being the only person on the dance floor without a
 drink when he's patrolling the bar
 I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him
 cacen
 BIG OL UPDATE: HE GOT MARRIED LAST WEEK!!!!
 zohbugg
 I need 10 seasons and a movie about the life of
 Doorman Dan
 thecheshirecass
 I look forward to reading more about the loving,
 polyamorous relationship he and his wife develop with
 Ned when they finally meet.
 fuckveahdiomedes
 What's the instagram for the rabbits, op?
 Source: cacen
 114,993 notes
The adventures of doorman dan

The adventures of doorman dan

The Prophecy: hewrotesins: Mama saidFulfill the prophecy Be something greater Go make a legacy Manifest destiny Back in the days We wanted everything
The Prophecy: hewrotesins:

Mama saidFulfill the prophecy Be something greater Go make a legacy Manifest destiny Back in the days We wanted everything

hewrotesins: Mama saidFulfill the prophecy Be something greater Go make a legacy Manifest destiny Back in the days We wanted everything

The Prophecy: 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 1. 2. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 6. 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. Suck in some helium from a balloon, walk behind someone and say "follow the yellow brick road" laughoutloud-club: Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
The Prophecy: 20 Ways To Maintain A
 Healthy Level Of Insanity
 At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car
 With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At
 Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
 1.
 2. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends
 You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're
 Not In The Mood.
 3.
 Every Time Someone Asks You To Do
 Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
 4.
 Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And
 Label it "In".
 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3
 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over
 Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to
 Espresso
 In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks,
 Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
 6.
 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In
 Accordance With The Prophecy".
 8. Don't use any punctuation.
 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than
 Walk.
 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out
 to eat, with a serious face.
 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is
 "To Go".
 12. Sing Along At The Opera.
 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The
 Poems Don't Rhyme.
 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work
 Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
 15. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't
 Disguise Your Voice.
 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By
 Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM
 Scream "I Won! I Won!"
 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running
 Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For
 Your Lives! They're Loose!"
 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To
 The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let
 One Of You Go."
 20. Suck in some helium from a balloon, walk
 behind someone and say "follow the yellow
 brick road"
laughoutloud-club:

Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

laughoutloud-club: Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

The Prophecy: cacen so at the bar in which I work, there's an unofficial rule that all of our door staff must have names that start with D or rhyme with 'doorman', which has led to me be friending a trio of six foot four men with beards called Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Darn now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the abso- lute love of my life. I don't care that he's a decade older than me and has a fiance. you know when someone is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they're simply referred to as 'a character? that's Doorman Dan. now, before I get into his personality, let's describe his appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scand inavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now, add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper that's Doorman Dan. since meeting him last year, I've discovered .he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that said 'shit happens' on his left arsecheek, so when he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called Junkie Jeff at 9AM he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months while he was in the army, and was complet unaware they had broken up until he wishe happy Christmas and she responded with what the fuck Dan .accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for thirty-six hours .he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay and instead of jumping in and fighting back he decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out and ran off .he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a month for 'mystery adventures', one of which has resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed inside any John Lewis shops .he is convinced the love of his life is not his fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: "TII know when I meet him." .he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless they follow him .his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even proposed. "I don't even know if I'm invited, truth be .when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he didn't want to intrude so he just gently knocked on the door and asked if they'd like a snack .he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail called Doorman's Sunrise because he feels left out being the only person on the dance floor without a drink when he's patrolling the bar I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him cacen BIG OL UPDATE: HE GOT MARRIED LAST WEEK!!!! zohbugg I need 10 seasons and a movie about the life of Doorman Dan thecheshirecass I look forward to reading more about the loving, polyamorous relationship he and his wife develop with Ned when they finally meet. fuckyeahdiomedes What's the instagram for the rabbits, op? Source: cacen 114,993 notes Once upon a time there was a doorman named Dan
The Prophecy: cacen
 so at the bar in which I work, there's an unofficial rule
 that all of our door staff must have names that start
 with D or rhyme with 'doorman', which has led to me be
 friending a trio of six foot four men with beards called
 Doorman Logan, Doorman Drew, and Doorman Darn
 now, let me tell you now that Doorman Dan is the abso-
 lute love of my life. I don't care that he's a decade older
 than me and has a fiance. you know when someone
 is so extraordinary or impossible to define that they're
 simply referred to as 'a character? that's Doorman Dan.
 now, before I get into his personality, let's describe his
 appearance. imagine the most stereotypical Scand
 inavian person ever: tall, white-blond, strong-jawed. now,
 add a heavy South Walian accent and an orange jumper
 that's Doorman Dan.
 since meeting him last year, I've discovered
 .he once had a dream that he had a tattoo that
 said 'shit happens' on his left arsecheek, so when
 he woke up he decided he had to fulfil the prophecy
 and got it tattooed on his arse by a bloke called
 Junkie Jeff at 9AM
 he forgot to call his girlfriend for three months
 while he was in the army, and was complet
 unaware they had broken up until he wishe
 happy Christmas and she responded with what the
 fuck Dan
 .accidentally married his army buddy in Vegas for
 thirty-six hours
 .he saw someone beating up a guy for being gay
 and instead of jumping in and fighting back he
 decided to get absolutely bollock-naked and stand
 in front of the homophobe until he got freaked out
 and ran off
 .he has a millionare buddy who rings him up once a
 month for 'mystery adventures', one of which has
 resulted in Doorman Dan no longer being allowed
 inside any John Lewis shops
 .he is convinced the love of his life is not his
 fiancee, but a man named Ned. upon being asked
 who Ned is, he shrugged and responded with: "TII
 know when I meet him."
 .he runs an Instagram account dedicated to his pet
 rabbits and refuses to let people into the bar unless
 they follow him
 .his fiancee booked a wedding venue before he even
 proposed. "I don't even know if I'm invited, truth be
 .when he caught a couple having sex in our loos, he
 didn't want to intrude so he just gently knocked on
 the door and asked if they'd like a snack
 .he has created his own non-alcoholic cocktail
 called Doorman's Sunrise because he feels left out
 being the only person on the dance floor without a
 drink when he's patrolling the bar
 I could honestly write a ten-season sitcom about him
 cacen
 BIG OL UPDATE: HE GOT MARRIED LAST WEEK!!!!
 zohbugg
 I need 10 seasons and a movie about the life of
 Doorman Dan
 thecheshirecass
 I look forward to reading more about the loving,
 polyamorous relationship he and his wife develop with
 Ned when they finally meet.
 fuckyeahdiomedes
 What's the instagram for the rabbits, op?
 Source: cacen
 114,993 notes
Once upon a time there was a doorman named Dan

Once upon a time there was a doorman named Dan

The Prophecy: he has arrived HIM <p>[<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/surrealmemes/comments/8glxs8/the_prophecy/">Src</a>]</p>
The Prophecy: he has arrived
 HIM
<p>[<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/surrealmemes/comments/8glxs8/the_prophecy/">Src</a>]</p>

<p>[<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/surrealmemes/comments/8glxs8/the_prophecy/">Src</a>]</p>

The Prophecy: worrier-of-asgard: The prophecy is written
The Prophecy: worrier-of-asgard:

The prophecy is written

worrier-of-asgard: The prophecy is written