The Road


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

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    Bluetooth, Bored, and Cars: . Verizon LTE
 12:09 PM
 a houston.craigslist.org
 image 1 of 23
 TEXAS
 BNL-2934
 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's
 hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever
 compliment you on? Well look no further.

 The 1999 Toyota Corolla
 Let's talk about features
 Bluetooth: nope
 Sunroof: nope
 Fancy wheels: nope
 Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear
 window and you have a fucking neck that can turn
 Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a
 strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went
 away. The End
 You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the
 Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years
 later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with
 Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right
 This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children
 Things this car is old enough to do:
 Vote: yes
 Consent to sex: ves
 Rent a car: it IS a car
 This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done
 straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this
 car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen
 would

 Interesting facts
 This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey
 In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional."
 When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it
 caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The
 resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building
 caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The
 event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The
 Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla"
 You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a
 Facebook survey.
 Favorite food: spaghetti
 Favorite tv show: Alf
 Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms
 This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-
 road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as
 utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based
 entirely on water bills
 When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece
 of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine."
 Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty
 contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop
 lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you
 deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.
 Whit
 Bayou
 BWa
catchymemes:

This man knows how to sell a car


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bluetooth, Bored, and Cars: . Verizon LTE
 12:09 PM
 a houston.craigslist.org
 image 1 of 23
 TEXAS
 BNL-2934
 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's
 hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever
 compliment you on? Well look no further.

 The 1999 Toyota Corolla
 Let's talk about features
 Bluetooth: nope
 Sunroof: nope
 Fancy wheels: nope
 Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear
 window and you have a fucking neck that can turn
 Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a
 strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went
 away. The End
 You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the
 Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years
 later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with
 Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right
 This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children
 Things this car is old enough to do:
 Vote: yes
 Consent to sex: ves
 Rent a car: it IS a car
 This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done
 straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this
 car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen
 would

 Interesting facts
 This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey
 In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional."
 When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it
 caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The
 resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building
 caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The
 event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The
 Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla"
 You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a
 Facebook survey.
 Favorite food: spaghetti
 Favorite tv show: Alf
 Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms
 This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-
 road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as
 utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based
 entirely on water bills
 When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece
 of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine."
 Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty
 contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop
 lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you
 deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.
 Whit
 Bayou
 BWa
catchymemes:

This man knows how to sell a car


                
            

            
            
catchymemes:

This man knows how to sell a car



            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Complex, Driving, and Guns: Authorities are working to identify a man seen on surveillance video attacking a disabled veteran with his car earlier this week in Gardena, allegedly because the veteran had asked him to pick up trash he threw in the street. Joshua Byrd, who served two tours in Iraq with the U.S. Army, said he was walking his service dog outside the business complex where he works on the 13000 block of Cimarron Avenue around 6:30 a.m. Monday when he noticed the driver discard garbage from his window. Byrd said he asked the motorist to pick it up but he didn't respond, so he picked it up and put it on the hood of the man's car. The driver lingered in the area, and a couple minutes later took the trash off his car and threw it back into the street. Then, he began cussing at Byrd and driving in circles in front of him, the veteran said. "He's getting out the car and he threw a couple bottles of pee at me," Byrd told KTLA. "So it was urine in a container and he was throwing it at me. Luckily none of it got on me." At that point, Byrd went to stand in the road in an attempt to get a picture of the man's car. That's when he was struck. "He just makes another U-turn and guns it straight toward me at about 35, 40 mph and hits me," Byrd said. Byrd suffered a fractured wrist, sprained ankle, whiplash, road rash and bruising, and had to get stitches on his face. His dog was not injured. The incident is being investigated as an assault with a deadly weapon, according to Gardena Police Lt. Steve Prendergast. Officials have not released a description of the suspect, but Byrd described him as a heavyset black man measuring around 5 feet 5 inches to 5 feet 8 inches tall. Anyone with information can contact the Gardena Police Department at 310-217-9600.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Complex, Driving, and Guns: Authorities are working to identify a man seen on surveillance video attacking a disabled veteran with his car earlier this week in Gardena, allegedly because the veteran had asked him to pick up trash he threw in the street. Joshua Byrd, who served two tours in Iraq with the U.S. Army, said he was walking his service dog outside the business complex where he works on the 13000 block of Cimarron Avenue around 6:30 a.m. Monday when he noticed the driver discard garbage from his window. Byrd said he asked the motorist to pick it up but he didn't respond, so he picked it up and put it on the hood of the man's car. The driver lingered in the area, and a couple minutes later took the trash off his car and threw it back into the street. Then, he began cussing at Byrd and driving in circles in front of him, the veteran said. "He's getting out the car and he threw a couple bottles of pee at me," Byrd told KTLA. "So it was urine in a container and he was throwing it at me. Luckily none of it got on me." At that point, Byrd went to stand in the road in an attempt to get a picture of the man's car. That's when he was struck. "He just makes another U-turn and guns it straight toward me at about 35, 40 mph and hits me," Byrd said. Byrd suffered a fractured wrist, sprained ankle, whiplash, road rash and bruising, and had to get stitches on his face. His dog was not injured. The incident is being investigated as an assault with a deadly weapon, according to Gardena Police Lt. Steve Prendergast. Officials have not released a description of the suspect, but Byrd described him as a heavyset black man measuring around 5 feet 5 inches to 5 feet 8 inches tall. Anyone with information can contact the Gardena Police Department at 310-217-9600.
                
                

                
            

            
            
Authorities are working to identify a man seen on surveillance video attacking a disabled veteran with his car earlier this week in Gardena,...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Apple, Ass, and Bitch: Apple AirPods cost $159, but they
 can't pay taxes or decent wages
 to their Chinese factory workers!
 you SAID
 ON AN iPHONE.GOTCHA
 HEH
 *POST*
 CARS SHOULD
 HAVE SEAT
 BELTS!
 YET YOU BOUGHT
 ONE. HyPOCRITE
 MUCH? OWNED.
 WE SHOULD
 YET YOu
 SOCIETY . CURIOUS!
 I AM VERY
 IMPROVE SOCIETYPARTICIPATE IN
 SOMEWHAT.
 INTELLIGENT
 BORS
celticpyro:

thespectacularspider-girl:
mattbors:

edgeworth-for-the-truth:

sindri42:

captainkupo:

mattbors:
“Mr. Gotcha” on The Nib

theres literally better alternatives to fucking buying an iphone dipshit your comic sucks dick

There’s this weird disconnect in so many apple users where they hate Apple but they cannot conceive of anybody except Apple producing a viable smartphone or computer. You can get a machine that matches or exceeds every single aspect of any apple product for half the price, easily, but they need to get the one with an apple logo on it and then complain about apple.
It’s like complaining that your car lacks a seatbelt when every other car on the road already has a seatbelt and you specifically paid extra to get your own seatbelt removed because you didn’t like the color.


If you buy from Apple and complain about their business practices, you deserve to be made fun of and especially be called a boot licker.
I am not sorry at all. You could have chosen from anyone else but you deliberately chose the most expensive and bullshit company to buy from, you pompous piece of human garbage. Stop virtue signally and maybe actually consider try helping those factory workers instead of enabling them.
Shit head

People really think this comic was some sort of pro-Apple comic and missed the point entirely. They’re real mad tho.

And yet your stupid ass doesn’t get the underlying statements about Apple still apply to your smug comic.
You don’t get to bitch about, say, capitalism when you engage in the excesses of capitalism.  To mix the two metaphors, if you bitch about capitalism from an iPhone, congrats, you just proved you’re a hypocrite because you COULD have bought a phone made with more ethical means or that didn’t have the associated brand on it, but you did.  
Because you don’t really give a shit about making the changes yourself, you just want to virtue signal and have no actual principles. That’s why people bring up this kind of double-think, yet you felt the need to portray this valid criticism as a strawman so you can look intelligent.

Seriously though! That’s why I hate this comic.The “cars should have seat belts” one is also dumb because guess what? The guy who conceptualized seat belts got them normalized in cars. The serf working under a feudalist system? Has absolutely no power to change it. In fact, they’re the one being exploited here, more comparable to the factory worker who built your iPhone than the upper-middle class person complaining about it. There’s a difference between recognizing a system is messed up while you have no control over the matter (as you’re the one personally being exploited), looking at a problem and deciding to change said problem, and doing absolutely nothing about the problem while participating in someone else being exploited when you can, in fact, choose not to be a partaker. No, not wanting to do something mildly inconvenient isn’t “the illusion of choice”. Fuck you and your shitty comic.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Apple, Ass, and Bitch: Apple AirPods cost $159, but they
 can't pay taxes or decent wages
 to their Chinese factory workers!
 you SAID
 ON AN iPHONE.GOTCHA
 HEH
 *POST*
 CARS SHOULD
 HAVE SEAT
 BELTS!
 YET YOU BOUGHT
 ONE. HyPOCRITE
 MUCH? OWNED.
 WE SHOULD
 YET YOu
 SOCIETY . CURIOUS!
 I AM VERY
 IMPROVE SOCIETYPARTICIPATE IN
 SOMEWHAT.
 INTELLIGENT
 BORS
celticpyro:

thespectacularspider-girl:
mattbors:

edgeworth-for-the-truth:

sindri42:

captainkupo:

mattbors:
“Mr. Gotcha” on The Nib

theres literally better alternatives to fucking buying an iphone dipshit your comic sucks dick

There’s this weird disconnect in so many apple users where they hate Apple but they cannot conceive of anybody except Apple producing a viable smartphone or computer. You can get a machine that matches or exceeds every single aspect of any apple product for half the price, easily, but they need to get the one with an apple logo on it and then complain about apple.
It’s like complaining that your car lacks a seatbelt when every other car on the road already has a seatbelt and you specifically paid extra to get your own seatbelt removed because you didn’t like the color.


If you buy from Apple and complain about their business practices, you deserve to be made fun of and especially be called a boot licker.
I am not sorry at all. You could have chosen from anyone else but you deliberately chose the most expensive and bullshit company to buy from, you pompous piece of human garbage. Stop virtue signally and maybe actually consider try helping those factory workers instead of enabling them.
Shit head

People really think this comic was some sort of pro-Apple comic and missed the point entirely. They’re real mad tho.

And yet your stupid ass doesn’t get the underlying statements about Apple still apply to your smug comic.
You don’t get to bitch about, say, capitalism when you engage in the excesses of capitalism.  To mix the two metaphors, if you bitch about capitalism from an iPhone, congrats, you just proved you’re a hypocrite because you COULD have bought a phone made with more ethical means or that didn’t have the associated brand on it, but you did.  
Because you don’t really give a shit about making the changes yourself, you just want to virtue signal and have no actual principles. That’s why people bring up this kind of double-think, yet you felt the need to portray this valid criticism as a strawman so you can look intelligent.

Seriously though! That’s why I hate this comic.The “cars should have seat belts” one is also dumb because guess what? The guy who conceptualized seat belts got them normalized in cars. The serf working under a feudalist system? Has absolutely no power to change it. In fact, they’re the one being exploited here, more comparable to the factory worker who built your iPhone than the upper-middle class person complaining about it. There’s a difference between recognizing a system is messed up while you have no control over the matter (as you’re the one personally being exploited), looking at a problem and deciding to change said problem, and doing absolutely nothing about the problem while participating in someone else being exploited when you can, in fact, choose not to be a partaker. No, not wanting to do something mildly inconvenient isn’t “the illusion of choice”. Fuck you and your shitty comic.
                
            

            
            
celticpyro:

thespectacularspider-girl:
mattbors:

edgeworth-for-the-truth:

sindri42:

captainkupo:

mattbors:
“Mr. Gotcha” on The Nib

the...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Children, God, and Life: wikipedia brown
 @eveewing
 I just thought about this today and dug
 through my pictures to find it: a letter
 from a black soldier in the Civil War to
 the person who owns his daughter.
 "The longer you keep my child from me
 the longer you will have to burn in Hell
 and the quicker you will get there
 ETTER FROM A BLACK SOLDIER
 O THE OWNER OF HIS DAUGHTER
 Kitey Dice r såane. holding rebbels for we dont ex to get them and when I get redy
 t to leave there root neor to come after mary I will have
 anch but we thinke how ever bout a powrer and autherity to
 letter from Cari that we that have Children in the bring hear away and to exacute
 you say 1 hands of you devels we will trie
 o steal to plunder my child your the day that we enter Glas
 I want you to understand
 diggs that where ever you
 given rite and I meets we are enmays to
 own and you may hold on each orthere I offered once to pay
 to hear as long as you can but I you forty dollars for my own
 want you to remembor this one Child but I am glad now that you
 vengencens on them that holds
 my Child you will then know
 how to talke to me I will asure
 that and you will know how to
 talk rite too I want you now to
 just hold to hear if you want
 to iff your conchosence tells thats
 the road go that road and what it
 to understand that mary is my
 Child and she is a God
 longor you keep did not accept it Just hold on will brig you to kittey diggs I
 from me the longor now as long as you can and the have no fears about getting mary
 out of your hands this whole
 Govenment gives chear to me
 worse it will be for you you
 I came
 to burn in hell and
 the quicer youll get their for we
 never in you life befor
 are now makeing up a bout one down hear did you give Children and you cannot help your self
 Come up tharough and wont to
 not even a dollars worth of ex
 Source: Ira Berlin, ed., Freedom, A Doc
 when we come wo be to Coppe
 hood rabbels
 your property not so with me my 1861-1867. Cambridge: Cambridge
 and to the Slave Children is my own and I expect University, 1982. 690
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Children, God, and Life: wikipedia brown
 @eveewing
 I just thought about this today and dug
 through my pictures to find it: a letter
 from a black soldier in the Civil War to
 the person who owns his daughter.
 "The longer you keep my child from me
 the longer you will have to burn in Hell
 and the quicker you will get there
 ETTER FROM A BLACK SOLDIER
 O THE OWNER OF HIS DAUGHTER
 Kitey Dice r såane. holding rebbels for we dont ex to get them and when I get redy
 t to leave there root neor to come after mary I will have
 anch but we thinke how ever bout a powrer and autherity to
 letter from Cari that we that have Children in the bring hear away and to exacute
 you say 1 hands of you devels we will trie
 o steal to plunder my child your the day that we enter Glas
 I want you to understand
 diggs that where ever you
 given rite and I meets we are enmays to
 own and you may hold on each orthere I offered once to pay
 to hear as long as you can but I you forty dollars for my own
 want you to remembor this one Child but I am glad now that you
 vengencens on them that holds
 my Child you will then know
 how to talke to me I will asure
 that and you will know how to
 talk rite too I want you now to
 just hold to hear if you want
 to iff your conchosence tells thats
 the road go that road and what it
 to understand that mary is my
 Child and she is a God
 longor you keep did not accept it Just hold on will brig you to kittey diggs I
 from me the longor now as long as you can and the have no fears about getting mary
 out of your hands this whole
 Govenment gives chear to me
 worse it will be for you you
 I came
 to burn in hell and
 the quicer youll get their for we
 never in you life befor
 are now makeing up a bout one down hear did you give Children and you cannot help your self
 Come up tharough and wont to
 not even a dollars worth of ex
 Source: Ira Berlin, ed., Freedom, A Doc
 when we come wo be to Coppe
 hood rabbels
 your property not so with me my 1861-1867. Cambridge: Cambridge
 and to the Slave Children is my own and I expect University, 1982. 690