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Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning of the universe in those two eyes. So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Y’all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of y’all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and I’m thinking I might come for y’all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp y’all out completely. And I know what I’d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Y’all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Y’all ain’t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah that’s basic. Mermaids? Bruv that’s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Where’s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she can’t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (😍) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like “I know y’all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night 😢.” Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But I’ll call it Mermaid Period because y’all love it when these beverage companies are extra 🤗). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peet’s and Dark Matter - y’all on notice. Bless up 🤗😂😂😂
Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning
 of the universe in those
 two eyes.
So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Y’all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of y’all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and I’m thinking I might come for y’all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp y’all out completely. And I know what I’d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Y’all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Y’all ain’t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah that’s basic. Mermaids? Bruv that’s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Where’s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she can’t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (😍) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like “I know y’all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night 😢.” Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But I’ll call it Mermaid Period because y’all love it when these beverage companies are extra 🤗). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peet’s and Dark Matter - y’all on notice. Bless up 🤗😂😂😂

So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unic...

Anaconda, Bitch, and Clothes: tooiconic Shaving is part of the patriarchy!!! No woman does it for herselfl! screams the girl who grows three thin little blonde hairs, who isnt burdened by ingrown hairs and constantly feeling itchy when she doesn't shave. respectthefemalebody You won't feel itchy once it gets long enough. And I mean, shaving is Women have been shaving our legs less than 100 years. It started as a gimmick for razor companies to sell their products to women while men were fighting ww2 Have you ever even seen what your natural adult leg hair looks like fully grown? What, do you think women are born with a gene that compels us to shave? tooiconic Hi, you don't know my body better than I do I had fully grown leg hair and all over body hair by 11 years old and I was an itchy, miserable mess. The leg hair in particular would touch my sheets, even my own clothes, and make me so itchy that I couldn't sleep anymore. The same thing with my pubic hair and leg hair still happens as an adult even after not shaving for about 5 days. Shut the hell up with this patriarchy bullshit respectthefemalebody Why do you think more women shave their legs than men? What do you think the word patriarchy means? Dont know why youre bothering. She acts personally attacked by every little thing feminists do, lol. She fails to even realise that no one would have a problem with "thick black hairs" if razor companies hadnt made women their target buyers. tooiconic ?77??? Did you just say that some women have thick leg because of razors??? I'm Italian. Italians have thick hair. What part of "l was tchy and horribly uncomfortable by age 11 didn't you understand? Please tell me you're not one of those people who thinks shaving makes your hair thicker. Please. Im saying u wouldnt be insecure about it if women shaving was never a thing to begin with tooiconic Where did I say I was insecure? I started shaving because I was ITCHY. What part of that is confusing? You think your itchy but its your mind tricking you, due to insecurities. spookysugarr Holy shit @tooiconic this bitch thinks she knows more about your body than you do Im a psychiatrist, shes likely suffering from ocd, anxiety disorder & mild Schizophrenia Also are u her personal white knight, every time someone disagrees with her ur here taking her hot loads to prove ur devotion spookysugarr Dude, you're not her doctor And no, but thinking just because you have a profession you know what's going on with people's body's from a Tumblr post, really? spookysugarr Help her what? You don't know if she's already talked about this with her own doctor or therapist or physiatrist or whatever, you can't just go diagnosing people like that on the internet. People self diagnose all the time and that's dangerous I don't know why it's so hard to believe you can feel itchy with hair on your body? That's my top reason to shave tbh @tooiconic message me and we will work through your phobia of leg hair, together. anti-sjw-rebel She doesn't have a phobia of leg hair. She shaves because it makes her uncomfortable and itchy Quit trollin dude. What she does with her hair is her own business not yours figgernaggotlove Some people don't realise they need help until it's too late tooiconic Please don't give this idiot anymore attention Shaving your leg hair is not only oppressive, but a sign of mental illness. I should know, I'm a random guy on the internet.
Anaconda, Bitch, and Clothes: tooiconic
 Shaving is part of the patriarchy!!! No woman does it for herselfl!
 screams the girl who grows three thin little blonde hairs, who isnt
 burdened by ingrown hairs and constantly feeling itchy when she
 doesn't shave.
 respectthefemalebody
 You won't feel itchy once it gets long enough. And I mean, shaving is
 Women have been shaving our legs
 less than 100 years. It started as a gimmick for razor companies to
 sell their products to women while men were fighting ww2
 Have you ever even seen what your natural adult leg hair looks like
 fully grown?
 What, do you think women are born with a gene that compels us to
 shave?
 tooiconic
 Hi, you don't know my body better than I do
 I had fully grown leg hair and all over body hair by 11 years old and I
 was an itchy, miserable mess. The leg hair in particular would touch
 my sheets, even my own clothes, and make me so itchy that I
 couldn't sleep anymore. The same thing with my pubic hair and leg
 hair still happens as an adult even after not shaving for about 5 days.
 Shut the hell up with this patriarchy bullshit

 respectthefemalebody
 Why do you think more women shave their legs than men?
 What do you think the word patriarchy means?
 Dont know why youre bothering. She acts personally attacked by
 every little thing feminists do, lol. She fails to even realise that no one
 would have a problem with "thick black hairs" if razor companies
 hadnt made
 women their target buyers.
 tooiconic
 ?77???
 Did you just say that some women have thick leg because of
 razors??? I'm Italian. Italians have thick hair. What part of "l was
 tchy and horribly uncomfortable by age 11 didn't you understand?
 Please tell me you're not one of those people who thinks shaving
 makes your hair thicker. Please.
 Im saying u wouldnt be insecure about it if women shaving was
 never a thing to begin with

 tooiconic
 Where did I say I was insecure? I started shaving because I was
 ITCHY. What part of that is confusing?
 You think your itchy but its your mind tricking you, due to insecurities.
 spookysugarr
 Holy shit @tooiconic this bitch thinks she knows more about your
 body than you do
 Im a psychiatrist, shes likely suffering from ocd, anxiety disorder &
 mild Schizophrenia
 Also are u her personal white knight, every time someone disagrees
 with her ur here taking her hot loads to prove ur devotion
 spookysugarr
 Dude, you're not her doctor
 And no, but thinking just because you have a profession you know
 what's going on with people's body's from a Tumblr post, really?

 spookysugarr
 Help her what? You don't know if she's already talked about this with
 her own doctor or therapist or physiatrist or whatever, you can't just
 go diagnosing people like that on the internet. People self diagnose
 all the time and that's dangerous
 I don't know why it's so hard to believe you can feel itchy with hair on
 your body? That's my top reason to shave tbh
 @tooiconic message me and we will work through your phobia of leg
 hair, together.
 anti-sjw-rebel
 She doesn't have a phobia of leg hair. She shaves because it makes
 her uncomfortable and itchy
 Quit trollin dude.
 What she does with her hair is her own business not yours

 figgernaggotlove
 Some people don't realise they need help until it's too late
 tooiconic
 Please don't give this idiot anymore attention
Shaving your leg hair is not only oppressive, but a sign of mental illness. I should know, I'm a random guy on the internet.

Shaving your leg hair is not only oppressive, but a sign of mental illness. I should know, I'm a random guy on the internet.

Bad, Bill Cosby, and Donald Trump: Wagatwe Sara Wanjuki 3 hrs I won't say "Me, too." Partially because most of you know that' already. But mostly because we shouldn't have to "out" ourselves as survivors Because men have *always* seen the gendered violence happening around them (and/or being perpetrated by them)-they just haven't done anything about it. Because it shouldn't matter how many women, femmes, and gender neutral & non- conforming folk speak their truths. Post by @wagatwe. This is not to say that MeToo is a bad thing at all; just that, once again, the burden falls on the oppressed group (people who have been assaulted-harassed) to appeal to the moral sense of their oppressors. Also, to clarify, the emphasis on men in this post is not meant to imply that men cannot be raped or assaulted. Here’s a longer quote I really liked about all this: “Before Weinstein’s alleged sexual misconduct, it was Donald Trump’s. Before Trump, there was Bill Cosby and his half-century of woman accusers. Woody Allen, though determinedly sticking around in Hollywood, has been publicly accused by his own daughter of sexual abuse on a number of occasions. There are just no excuses anymore. We all know that sexual misconduct is a widespread epidemic in our world. So, why are we still asking women and other survivors to rip open their traumas to prove to us there is a problem we already know exists? And when will the problem finally be laid at the feet of those responsible to solve, instead of burdening survivors who have already endured so much?” It is not our responsibility to rip open our wounds and expose our trauma in a solidarity ritual just so you can finally acknowledge there is a problem with men’s violence toward women. We have been screaming into a void for centuries; I’m fairly certain one more round of begging isn’t going to convince you the problem exists if you haven’t already accepted it. For those people who have already used the MeToo hashtag to create some solidarity around their expeirences, or to heal some of their unacknowledged trauma: it is absolutely your right to do that. But just once I would like to see us NOT asking for women, or other oppressed people, to solve a problem that disproportionately affects us. We have already been through enough — we cannot solve your sickness of sexual violence too.” - Matilda Dixon-Smith @matildadixonsmith, “Will We Ever Stop Asking Women And Survivors To Fix Rape Culture?”
Bad, Bill Cosby, and Donald Trump: Wagatwe Sara Wanjuki
 3 hrs
 I won't say "Me, too."
 Partially because most of you know that'
 already.
 But mostly because we shouldn't have to
 "out" ourselves as survivors
 Because men have *always* seen the
 gendered violence happening around them
 (and/or being perpetrated by them)-they just
 haven't done anything about it.
 Because it shouldn't matter how many
 women, femmes, and gender neutral & non-
 conforming folk speak their truths.
Post by @wagatwe. This is not to say that MeToo is a bad thing at all; just that, once again, the burden falls on the oppressed group (people who have been assaulted-harassed) to appeal to the moral sense of their oppressors. Also, to clarify, the emphasis on men in this post is not meant to imply that men cannot be raped or assaulted. Here’s a longer quote I really liked about all this: “Before Weinstein’s alleged sexual misconduct, it was Donald Trump’s. Before Trump, there was Bill Cosby and his half-century of woman accusers. Woody Allen, though determinedly sticking around in Hollywood, has been publicly accused by his own daughter of sexual abuse on a number of occasions. There are just no excuses anymore. We all know that sexual misconduct is a widespread epidemic in our world. So, why are we still asking women and other survivors to rip open their traumas to prove to us there is a problem we already know exists? And when will the problem finally be laid at the feet of those responsible to solve, instead of burdening survivors who have already endured so much?” It is not our responsibility to rip open our wounds and expose our trauma in a solidarity ritual just so you can finally acknowledge there is a problem with men’s violence toward women. We have been screaming into a void for centuries; I’m fairly certain one more round of begging isn’t going to convince you the problem exists if you haven’t already accepted it. For those people who have already used the MeToo hashtag to create some solidarity around their expeirences, or to heal some of their unacknowledged trauma: it is absolutely your right to do that. But just once I would like to see us NOT asking for women, or other oppressed people, to solve a problem that disproportionately affects us. We have already been through enough — we cannot solve your sickness of sexual violence too.” - Matilda Dixon-Smith @matildadixonsmith, “Will We Ever Stop Asking Women And Survivors To Fix Rape Culture?”

Post by @wagatwe. This is not to say that MeToo is a bad thing at all; just that, once again, the burden falls on the oppressed group (peopl...

Bad, Bitch, and Friends: Lara Witt @Femmefeministe We shouldn't have to out ourselves as survivors in order for people to grasp the magnitude of how systemic assault & harassment are. #MeToo 10/15/17, 7:07 PM This is not to say that MeToo is a bad thing at all; just that, once again, the burden falls on the oppressed group (people who have been assaulted-harassed) to appeal to the moral sense of their oppressors. @femmefeministe explains, "Each time I pour my soul into a piece about assault, I draw out words and put them together with the hope that someone will feel connected or some sense of solidarity. I write for victims, but I also write for those who don’t know what it’s like, I have written with the hope that those of you who have never felt themselves shredded and stripped of their autonomy will hear us and fight alongside us because we need more people to stand up against rape culture. We march, we carry signs, we hold hands, we cry, we scream — but who’s listening? Sometimes it feels as if no matter how many times we write our stories, no matter how many statistics we show you, you don’t really care. For a moment you ingest our pain; you read details and see flashes of images pushed into the sentences we stitch together. Perhaps you almost feel a sense of revulsion, or even guilt. You think we were raped by monsters, but the people in our nightmares are people like your fathers, your brothers, your friends... How many stories will we have to write for you to care? Or have you read too many of our horrors? Are you desensitized now? Your friend made a rape joke, but hey, he’s a good guy. Right? I won’t tell you about the person who destroyed me. I won’t tell you about the scars. I won’t tell you about the night terrors or the depression or the anxiety or loneliness — because, to you, I’m just another bitch who was probably asking for it. I’m a statistic you will forget, these words of mine, you will forget but I will go back to bed and not have the luxury of forgetting. I am tired of proving to you just how difficult it is to recover. I cannot do that labor anymore. The numbers are out there for you to research: the essays, the songs, the art and the speeches are there for you to absorb and carry within your heart so that perhaps one day you can find the time to actually help us dismantle rape culture.”
Bad, Bitch, and Friends: Lara Witt
 @Femmefeministe
 We shouldn't have to out
 ourselves as survivors in order
 for people to grasp the
 magnitude of how systemic
 assault & harassment are.
 #MeToo
 10/15/17, 7:07 PM
This is not to say that MeToo is a bad thing at all; just that, once again, the burden falls on the oppressed group (people who have been assaulted-harassed) to appeal to the moral sense of their oppressors. @femmefeministe explains, "Each time I pour my soul into a piece about assault, I draw out words and put them together with the hope that someone will feel connected or some sense of solidarity. I write for victims, but I also write for those who don’t know what it’s like, I have written with the hope that those of you who have never felt themselves shredded and stripped of their autonomy will hear us and fight alongside us because we need more people to stand up against rape culture. We march, we carry signs, we hold hands, we cry, we scream — but who’s listening? Sometimes it feels as if no matter how many times we write our stories, no matter how many statistics we show you, you don’t really care. For a moment you ingest our pain; you read details and see flashes of images pushed into the sentences we stitch together. Perhaps you almost feel a sense of revulsion, or even guilt. You think we were raped by monsters, but the people in our nightmares are people like your fathers, your brothers, your friends... How many stories will we have to write for you to care? Or have you read too many of our horrors? Are you desensitized now? Your friend made a rape joke, but hey, he’s a good guy. Right? I won’t tell you about the person who destroyed me. I won’t tell you about the scars. I won’t tell you about the night terrors or the depression or the anxiety or loneliness — because, to you, I’m just another bitch who was probably asking for it. I’m a statistic you will forget, these words of mine, you will forget but I will go back to bed and not have the luxury of forgetting. I am tired of proving to you just how difficult it is to recover. I cannot do that labor anymore. The numbers are out there for you to research: the essays, the songs, the art and the speeches are there for you to absorb and carry within your heart so that perhaps one day you can find the time to actually help us dismantle rape culture.”

This is not to say that MeToo is a bad thing at all; just that, once again, the burden falls on the oppressed group (people who have been as...

Aww, Bless Up, and Emoji: r/aww u/ButZebrasCantSmell 18h i.redd.it This little guy followed me home and then fell asleep on my lap, so l guess I have a dog now @DrSmashlove See bruv it’s two reactions u get from ladies when u laying pipe for the first time and bust a lil early. Type 1: she hear u moan and groan and let loose the juice and she just do this grin: 😌. Like “it’s ok baby I understand 😌 this Nani feels like silk soaked in honey and coated in mango juice 😌 I don’t expect u to last more than a few strokes 😌 it’s the price of having A1 Nani 😌.” Like that’s literally what this emoji was based off of - it’s the “it’s ok my adorable Minute Man 😌” emoji 😂. Now then, Type 2: she ain’t playing bruv. Type 2 came here for some proper pipe and yo early arrival mean u just deprived her of the value of her investment. She ain’t having it. U let out half a moan - not even a full moan and groan - just literally “AHP-“ and her eyes turn red. Her face morph into the face of a she-devil 👹. Horns emerge straight on her head top. And she always say the same thing: “NOT...YET!!!! 👿” and then she hit u with the Type 2 leg lock Bruv. She wrap her arms and legs around u like: “YOU MINUTE MAN LOOKIN A$$ I’M NOT GON LET U PULL OUT IMMA HAVE YO BABY TO TEACH U A LESSON ABOUT BUSTING EARLY U THOUGHT SH!T WAS SWEET WELL LEMME TELL U HOW SWEET: EVERY TIME U LOOK IN THE FACE OF THIS BABY U GON REMEMBER THE TIME U THOUGHT IT WAS OK TO BUST AFTER A FEW STROKES - HELL NAW - NOW GIMME THIS WORK AND LET ME NAME THIS BABY WITHOUT CONSULTING U. “Zeena”. ISSA GREEK NAME THAT MEANS “stranger, guest” WHICH IS APPROPRIATE BECAUSE IMMA HAVE FULL CUSTODY AND U GON SHOW UP WITH MY MONTHLY SUPPORT AS A GUEST IN A CRIB *YOU* PAYING FOR HOWBOWDAH 👿.” And u thinking “naw baby relax it’s all good round 2 gon be amazing 😬” and she just like “sorry I had other plans after this, expect to get served with a DNA test in 9 months bless up.” Type 2 ladies imma need y’all to learn from yo Type 1 sisters. Embrace the fact that your Nani A1. Give him another chance. U ain’t gotta go off and have his baby to teach him a lesson - let him cool his jets and give u the bidness one mo ‘gain. And if he bust early, cut him off forever. AND THEN DM ME IMMEEJALLY BECAUSE IT MEAN U GOT THAT UNICORN NANI AND WE SHOULD GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHIRREN BLESS UP 🤗😂😂😂
Aww, Bless Up, and Emoji: r/aww
 u/ButZebrasCantSmell 18h i.redd.it
 This little guy followed me home and
 then fell asleep on my lap, so l guess I
 have a dog now
 @DrSmashlove
See bruv it’s two reactions u get from ladies when u laying pipe for the first time and bust a lil early. Type 1: she hear u moan and groan and let loose the juice and she just do this grin: 😌. Like “it’s ok baby I understand 😌 this Nani feels like silk soaked in honey and coated in mango juice 😌 I don’t expect u to last more than a few strokes 😌 it’s the price of having A1 Nani 😌.” Like that’s literally what this emoji was based off of - it’s the “it’s ok my adorable Minute Man 😌” emoji 😂. Now then, Type 2: she ain’t playing bruv. Type 2 came here for some proper pipe and yo early arrival mean u just deprived her of the value of her investment. She ain’t having it. U let out half a moan - not even a full moan and groan - just literally “AHP-“ and her eyes turn red. Her face morph into the face of a she-devil 👹. Horns emerge straight on her head top. And she always say the same thing: “NOT...YET!!!! 👿” and then she hit u with the Type 2 leg lock Bruv. She wrap her arms and legs around u like: “YOU MINUTE MAN LOOKIN A$$ I’M NOT GON LET U PULL OUT IMMA HAVE YO BABY TO TEACH U A LESSON ABOUT BUSTING EARLY U THOUGHT SH!T WAS SWEET WELL LEMME TELL U HOW SWEET: EVERY TIME U LOOK IN THE FACE OF THIS BABY U GON REMEMBER THE TIME U THOUGHT IT WAS OK TO BUST AFTER A FEW STROKES - HELL NAW - NOW GIMME THIS WORK AND LET ME NAME THIS BABY WITHOUT CONSULTING U. “Zeena”. ISSA GREEK NAME THAT MEANS “stranger, guest” WHICH IS APPROPRIATE BECAUSE IMMA HAVE FULL CUSTODY AND U GON SHOW UP WITH MY MONTHLY SUPPORT AS A GUEST IN A CRIB *YOU* PAYING FOR HOWBOWDAH 👿.” And u thinking “naw baby relax it’s all good round 2 gon be amazing 😬” and she just like “sorry I had other plans after this, expect to get served with a DNA test in 9 months bless up.” Type 2 ladies imma need y’all to learn from yo Type 1 sisters. Embrace the fact that your Nani A1. Give him another chance. U ain’t gotta go off and have his baby to teach him a lesson - let him cool his jets and give u the bidness one mo ‘gain. And if he bust early, cut him off forever. AND THEN DM ME IMMEEJALLY BECAUSE IT MEAN U GOT THAT UNICORN NANI AND WE SHOULD GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHIRREN BLESS UP 🤗😂😂😂

See bruv it’s two reactions u get from ladies when u laying pipe for the first time and bust a lil early. Type 1: she hear u moan and groan ...