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Butt, Friday, and Girls: Good morning gorgeous Mornin ( So I'm writing this book I've been working on it for a while, but I'm just stuck and have been for ages It's called "girls l'll disappoint in my 20's." wanna be in a chapter? Today 10:59 AM Do I get my own chapter? Oh for sure, I've gotta go over everything I could've done differently to make sure thatl don't fuck it up next time 'round Sounds like a lot of work Nah, after disappointing so many times it comes naturally Something you're quite proud of lol What'll be the name of my chapter? Or is that something you name afterwards? Today 12:54 PM Megan all the wrong choices How's that Disappointing You're doing well I can only go up from here My plan is working perfectly Oh? I'm just imagining you sitting there rubbing your hands together like an evil villain lol Oh yeah that's exactly what is happening here. Got my master plan right on track Next step is to make an awful first date and me dress up. n shist is about as nice Nah we're gonna find a nice bridge, cra open a carton of eggs and have some hobo chili Lmfao That sounds interesting Do the eggs go in the chili or do I get to throw them? Nah we throw them at each other, and let our body heat cook them. Just like how they did in the old days SWEET After that we can go to the local fountain and swim for a bit before qetting dessert Today 4:24 PM Can we get beignets? Today 4:42 PM Fine but you're paying Gonna be the worst date ever Ok so long as you're cooking the hobo chili K but in gonna burn it Fair warning When is this date? And there are gonna be a few hairs in it Extra flavor Oh god When are you free? I've got a butt load of work till Friday afternoon : I'm free Friday That works for me Cool Here's my number T Hobo chili
Butt, Friday, and Girls: Good morning gorgeous
 Mornin (
 So I'm writing this book
 I've been working on it for a while, but I'm
 just stuck and have been for ages
 It's called "girls l'll disappoint in my 20's."
 wanna be in a chapter?
 Today 10:59 AM
 Do I get my own chapter?
 Oh for sure, I've gotta go over everything I
 could've done differently to make sure thatl
 don't fuck it up next time 'round
 Sounds like a lot of work
 Nah, after disappointing so many times it
 comes naturally
 Something you're quite proud of lol
 What'll be the name of my chapter?
 Or is that something you name afterwards?
 Today 12:54 PM
 Megan all the wrong choices
 How's that
 Disappointing
 You're doing well
 I can only go up from here
 My plan is working perfectly
 Oh?
 I'm just imagining you sitting there rubbing
 your hands together like an evil villain lol
 Oh yeah that's exactly what is happening
 here. Got my master plan right on track
 Next step is to make an awful first date
 and
 me dress up.
 n shist is about as nice
 Nah we're gonna find a nice bridge, cra
 open a carton of eggs and have some hobo
 chili
 Lmfao
 That sounds interesting
 Do the eggs go in the chili or do I get to
 throw them?
 Nah we throw them at each other, and let
 our body heat cook them. Just like how they
 did in the old days
 SWEET
 After that we can go to the local fountain
 and swim for a bit before qetting dessert
 Today 4:24 PM
 Can we get beignets?
 Today 4:42 PM
 Fine but you're paying
 Gonna be the worst date ever
 Ok so long as you're cooking the hobo
 chili
 K but in gonna burn it
 Fair warning
 When is this date?
 And there are gonna be a few hairs in it
 Extra flavor
 Oh god
 When are you free?
 I've got a butt load of work till Friday
 afternoon
 : I'm free Friday
 That works for me
 Cool
 Here's my number
 T
Hobo chili

Hobo chili

Club, Dogs, and Lgbt: Discord -111 2:25 PM Tweet Love, Noelle @lesbianhamlet 2/25/18 A website like @doesthedogdie but for LGBT characters. Does the gay die? 2 Does the Dog Die @doesthedog...。2d 、 What are some example movies where this happens? Love, Noelle @lesbianhamlet 2d Brokeback Mountain, Atomic Blonde, Bent, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Braveheart, A Single Man, Cloud Atlas, Black Swan, Philadelphia, Rent, Dallas Buyers Club, The Normal Heart, Mulholland Drive, Milk, Holding the Man, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Another Country, Deathtrap Does the Dog Die @doesthedogdie Tweet your reply Discord -111 2:25 PM Tweet oes the Dog Die @doesthedogdie Replying to @lesbianhamlet "Does a LGBT person die?" is an option now on doesthedogdie.com. Thanks for the suggestion! /28/18, 2:17 PM Tweet your reply unicornlamps: curface: omgkalyppso: pennie-dreadful: lukenull: I made a difference in the world! REBLOG TO SAVE YOUR QUEER HEART FROM BREAKING I’ve seen a bunch of people in the notes concerned (like I was) of comparisons of members of the lgbt to dogs: but upon visiting their website I was reassured that they monitor a variety of content, including (but not limited to): THIS IS A GOOD SITE If you guys havent checked out their website yet, I would highly seggust it. They frequently add new triggers to the list of things they track, and in the information is crowdsourced, so you can rest assured that the information they give on movies does not only come from a single corporate source
Club, Dogs, and Lgbt: Discord -111
 2:25 PM
 Tweet
 Love, Noelle @lesbianhamlet 2/25/18
 A website like @doesthedogdie but for
 LGBT characters. Does the gay die?
 2
 Does the Dog Die @doesthedog...。2d 、
 What are some example movies where
 this happens?
 Love, Noelle @lesbianhamlet 2d
 Brokeback Mountain, Atomic Blonde,
 Bent, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel,
 Braveheart, A Single Man, Cloud Atlas,
 Black Swan, Philadelphia, Rent, Dallas
 Buyers Club, The Normal Heart,
 Mulholland Drive, Milk, Holding the
 Man, Four Weddings and a Funeral,
 Another Country, Deathtrap
 Does the Dog Die
 @doesthedogdie
 Tweet your reply

 Discord -111
 2:25 PM
 Tweet
 oes the Dog Die
 @doesthedogdie
 Replying to @lesbianhamlet
 "Does a LGBT person die?" is an
 option now on doesthedogdie.com.
 Thanks for the suggestion!
 /28/18, 2:17 PM
 Tweet your reply
unicornlamps:

curface:

omgkalyppso:

pennie-dreadful:

lukenull:
I made a difference in the world!

REBLOG TO SAVE YOUR QUEER HEART FROM BREAKING


I’ve seen a bunch of people in the notes concerned (like I was) of comparisons of members of the lgbt to dogs: but upon visiting their website I was reassured that they monitor a variety of content, including (but not limited to):




THIS IS A GOOD SITE


If you guys havent checked out their website yet, I would highly seggust it. They frequently add new triggers to the list of things they track, and in the information is crowdsourced, so you can rest assured that the information they give on movies does not only come from a single corporate source

unicornlamps: curface: omgkalyppso: pennie-dreadful: lukenull: I made a difference in the world! REBLOG TO SAVE YOUR QUEER HEART FROM B...

Bad, Cookies, and Dad: Godzilla Tag Yourself That Ain't Falco Didn't forget what you did -Best in track -Is there Grumpy Cat Butterfly I say your justice qoes too far! -Sometimes smol Good dad r you but Badderfly justice doesn't go you mock in -drives environmentally -Good Babysitter -Is on your side Einstein -Wants everyone to be friends middle school too far enough! friendly car Can count how many -Wasn't invited -Screams moth friend wants to be helpful are about fensive on one hand. -Kinda Selish -Needs to slow down Boba Fett Didn't do much Kanga-Rex Palpatine Kamacurry -Mob mentality -Always blends in -Tries st kicks uly Talks big game Itsy Bitsy -loved by all -Great at extreme sports Doeshtgive a hood Moral Support -Awesome -Kinda overrated -Only one who sees the big picture -Stunt double ary aks big Cam Might not even be real Has the laugh that gets everyone going -Secretly a toad pams twitch chat school -Makes a egg casserole Literal grime Savage even when not trying -Used to be a big deal -Don't disturb -Got big plans SPAAACE Monty Mole r but doesn't rare Is just here to raise the roof. Mecha Ghidio u but smarter -Sophisticated horoscope reader -Probably had too much coffee-Just wants to rule the world -Back by unpopular demand Little Shop of Horrors -Who are you? I'm you but less privileged -Has taken up a new leaf handlla s but thinks he could -Knows there isn't a spoon. All according to plan -Won't leave his couch fort a trench coat a pokemon Sill is hut can't kiss Is probably only good because it benefits him -ls in a bad mood and fixing to take it out on you -ls so done all the timeA Frieza Switches to vour main after beating you in smash bros -Looks up to Jason Voorhees s hetter than Knows it Lovebirds -Brings a tactical warhead on first date -cocky teens Lil Green -Awkward phase Diggersby -smoler -picks on things more e True Armadillo Facts Red Lobster Mis Ghidio the downtrodder -Good with electronics Hates spicy foods -Good guard dog -Came to attack people and is having a good time l -pure -Didn't ask for this small than him -Didn't deserve any of this -Except for that one time -Surprisingly Reliable T peo -Notorious party crasher -Easy Target ple's hero -Won't die -has regrets -Came for f T -esteem F-Type Master Splinter Titanic Tuna Is with the wrong crowd nut learned ett tt in Megatron - Has no clue what you? I'm vou Robot Chicken of JUSTICE but shinier he's doing ececut bimself in -Lonely piggyback rides -Communicates -Doesn't know why he's here but is happy to help is head -Goodenforcer Hator mat woodshop Edgemeister anybody's way mbs ups Has the best pokerface-Will conquer the worldSneaks by auoting fortune cookies List of skills include bi best breaking things sily influenced Has 50 different Will wreck you in karaoke -Is there for you -Never not smiling -Good cop in to ways to kill you -big bro friend his tunes Fullmetal Kirby Flygon Grouchy Kitty -Who are you? not you, Who are you? I'm you but aping-Who are you? I'm a bug Who are you? The terminator have promising future Still voung at heart" -I don't have that. I need it.-Listens to Three Days Grace on full blast Still does? The queen imlot of crap for Insecure -Intentionally has dog poop your lawn Came to ruin everything Now brute forces everything -It's mine now eating habits -Identity crisis -Most expressive -ls a black belt Mayhe redeemable -Just wants to go on a family picnic .Drinks tears -killed a man plays a golden fiddle -beloved scum andrewtheamericandude: Some of these are stupid jokes that even I don’t get 
Bad, Cookies, and Dad: Godzilla Tag Yourself
 That Ain't Falco
 Didn't forget what you did -Best in track
 -Is there
 Grumpy Cat
 Butterfly
 I say your justice qoes too far!
 -Sometimes smol
 Good dad
 r you but
 Badderfly
 justice doesn't go
 you mock in
 -drives environmentally
 -Good Babysitter
 -Is on your side Einstein -Wants everyone to be friends
 middle school
 too far enough!
 friendly car
 Can count how many
 -Wasn't invited
 -Screams
 moth friend
 wants to be helpful
 are about
 fensive
 on one hand.
 -Kinda Selish
 -Needs to slow down
 Boba Fett
 Didn't do much
 Kanga-Rex
 Palpatine
 Kamacurry
 -Mob mentality
 -Always blends in
 -Tries
 st kicks
 uly
 Talks big game
 Itsy Bitsy
 -loved by all
 -Great at extreme sports Doeshtgive a hood
 Moral Support
 -Awesome
 -Kinda overrated
 -Only one who sees the
 big picture
 -Stunt double
 ary
 aks big Cam
 Might not even be real
 Has the laugh that
 gets everyone going
 -Secretly a toad
 pams twitch chat
 school
 -Makes a
 egg casserole
 Literal grime
 Savage even when
 not trying
 -Used to be a big deal
 -Don't disturb
 -Got big plans
 SPAAACE
 Monty Mole
 r but doesn't rare
 Is just here to raise the roof.
 Mecha Ghidio
 u but smarter
 -Sophisticated horoscope reader
 -Probably had too much coffee-Just wants to rule the world
 -Back by unpopular demand
 Little Shop of Horrors
 -Who are you? I'm you but
 less privileged
 -Has taken up a new leaf
 handlla s but thinks he could
 -Knows there isn't a spoon.
 All according to plan
 -Won't leave his couch fort
 a trench coat
 a pokemon
 Sill is hut can't kiss
 Is probably only good because it
 benefits him
 -ls in a bad mood and fixing
 to take it out on you
 -ls so done all the timeA
 Frieza
 Switches to vour main after
 beating you in smash bros
 -Looks up to Jason Voorhees
 s hetter than
 Knows it
 Lovebirds
 -Brings a tactical warhead on first date
 -cocky teens
 Lil Green
 -Awkward phase
 Diggersby
 -smoler
 -picks on things more
 e
 True Armadillo Facts
 Red Lobster
 Mis
 Ghidio
 the
 downtrodder
 -Good with electronics Hates spicy foods
 -Good guard dog
 -Came to attack people and is having a good time
 l
 -pure
 -Didn't ask for this
 small than him
 -Didn't deserve any of this
 -Except for that one time
 -Surprisingly Reliable
 T peo
 -Notorious party crasher
 -Easy Target
 ple's hero
 -Won't die
 -has regrets
 -Came for f
 T -esteem
 F-Type
 Master Splinter
 Titanic Tuna
 Is with the wrong crowd nut learned
 ett tt in
 Megatron
 - Has no clue what
 you? I'm vou
 Robot Chicken
 of JUSTICE
 but shinier
 he's doing
 ececut bimself in
 -Lonely
 piggyback rides
 -Communicates
 -Doesn't know why he's here
 but is happy to help
 is head
 -Goodenforcer
 Hator mat
 woodshop
 Edgemeister
 anybody's way
 mbs ups Has the best pokerface-Will conquer the worldSneaks by auoting fortune cookies
 List of skills include
 bi best
 breaking things
 sily influenced
 Has 50 different
 Will wreck you in karaoke
 -Is there for you
 -Never not smiling
 -Good cop
 in to
 ways to kill you
 -big bro friend
 his tunes
 Fullmetal
 Kirby
 Flygon
 Grouchy Kitty
 -Who are you?
 not you,
 Who are you? I'm you but aping-Who are you? I'm a bug
 Who are you? The terminator
 have promising future
 Still voung at heart"
 -I don't have that. I need it.-Listens to Three Days Grace
 on full blast
 Still does?
 The queen
 imlot of crap for Insecure
 -Intentionally has dog poop
 your lawn
 Came to ruin everything
 Now brute forces everything
 -It's mine now
 eating habits
 -Identity crisis
 -Most expressive
 -ls a black belt
 Mayhe redeemable
 -Just wants to go on a family picnic
 .Drinks tears
 -killed a man
 plays a golden fiddle
 -beloved scum
andrewtheamericandude:

Some of these are stupid jokes that even I don’t get 

andrewtheamericandude: Some of these are stupid jokes that even I don’t get 

Amazon, Bad, and Be Like: krista (030) y@cherryblushed i used to read 3-4 full sized novels in middle school. now i see anything longer than a paragraph and bounce. i'll miss u brain cells, can't believe u peaked at age 12 15/9/18, 1:04 pm 68 Retweets 238 Likes takingbackmyfirstamendmentrights: dewdrop156: memecage: It do be like that. I was having a surprisingly good conversation with my sister recently and I was talking about how one of the reasons I don’t read as much as I used to is because I don’t have the same resources I did when I was a 4th grader. When I was a kid, I could sit and read all I wanted, all I had to to was exist and go where people took me. I didn’t have to feed myself or pay bills or keep track of things, which of course now I have to deal with all of those things so I can’t read as much and tend to read pretty easy to read books. My sister brought up the really good point that, of course I want to read easy books, I’m a young adult, in a very tumultuous phase of life, constantly being thrown new information, my brain doesnt want a classical novel, my brain wants something readable and immersive. tl;dr don’t feel bad for not reading as much as you used to, it’s okay. Read what you can when you can and don’t stress about the rest But nowadays, there are so many more resources for reading that you can gain access to. Even though you’re busy and stressed out my life, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue to strive to read whenever possible. I’ve compiled this basic list of super accessible ways to read in the modern age.1. LibbyLibby is a library app, and it free to use. If you have a library card (which you can either pick up at a branch or online, depending on where you live), you put in your information, and you have access to your library’s ebooks and audiobooks. Generally, you can check ebooks out for two to three weeks, and it gives you the option to renew (if someone isn’t waiting in line for that book) or return early. It’s super user- friendly. If you want to scam the system a little bit, a lot of libraries give you 30 to 60 days after making a card online to come in and actually get a physical card and show your ID. If you are looking for a specific book that your library may not have, make library cards at other locations with fake addresses and check out their supply. I personally have about eight library cards, so I always can find what I’m looking for unless it’s super rare. 2. KindleWhile you can buy the actual Amazon e-reader, you can also just use the free app. There are a bunch of ebooks you can read for free, or for a low price. If you have Kindle Unlimited ($10/month), you can borrow up to ten KU books at a time for as long as you want. A lot of authors have KU books, so it’s a good way to go. 3. NookBarnes and Noble’s Nook is similar to the Kindle—comes in a physical e-reader, but is also usable as a free app. I will say I find that their selection generally costs more than Amazon’s selection, but it’s an option if you prefer to stay away from Amazon products. One thing they do sometime around the end of the year is send you out a refund check for all the books that you purchased through them that were at a higher market price then they would’ve been elsewhere. I’ve gotten like three of these, so I figure it’s a regular thing. 4. AudibleFor people who are sight-impaired or have difficulty sitting down and reading a book, audiobooks are SO the way to go. When you sign up, you can receive up to two free audiobooks, and whatever plan you decide to go with gives you two free audiobooks a month (from a specific selection) in addition to your credits! If you have Kindle ebooks, there is sometimes an option to purchase the accompanying Audible audiobook for a super discounted rate. If you don’t like an audiobook, you can call in to return it at any time. I have something like forty or fifty audiobooks from them, and I’ve exchanged another twenty. These options are all in addition to physical books from your local library, and discount bookstores. The nice thing about ebooks is that generally they have the option to highlight and bookmark pages, change the font size and type, and even change the color of the page if you prefer.I always thought audiobooks were for old people until a few years ago when I was commuting about three hours a day for work. I wasn’t reading nearly as much, and as an avid reader, that distressed me greatly.Finally, I looked into audiobooks and it was a huge life changer. Instead of wasting three hours a day in traffic, I was reading for three hours a day that I would’ve otherwise not been able to. Not only does it make a trip go faster, but it makes it much more enjoyable.And even if you don’t want it for the commute or for the gym, audiobooks are a really good option for people who have vision problems. I have migraines when I stare at screens too much, so I pop on an audiobook and just crochet or do the dishes. I have a friend who has very bad eyesight, and he has not been able to read in something close to a year. I set him up with a library card and a Libby account, and all of a sudden, he was able to catch up on all the books he had been wanting to read!I’m just saying, I promote reading because no matter what you read, you’re learning something. Even though life is stressful and crazy and distracting, there are still ways you can find to sit down and curl up with a good book. “My brother has his sword, I have my books. And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone.” -Tyrion Lannister
Amazon, Bad, and Be Like: krista (030)
 y@cherryblushed
 i used to read 3-4 full sized
 novels in middle school. now i see
 anything longer than a paragraph
 and bounce. i'll miss u brain cells,
 can't believe u peaked at age 12
 15/9/18, 1:04 pm
 68 Retweets 238 Likes
takingbackmyfirstamendmentrights:

dewdrop156:
memecage:
It do be like that.

I was having a surprisingly good conversation with my sister recently and I was talking about how one of the reasons I don’t read as much as I used to is because I don’t have the same resources I did when I was a 4th grader. When I was a kid, I could sit and read all I wanted, all I had to to was exist and go where people took me. I didn’t have to feed myself or pay bills or keep track of things, which of course now I have to deal with all of those things so I can’t read as much and tend to read pretty easy to read books. My sister brought up the really good point that, of course I want to read easy books, I’m a young adult, in a very tumultuous phase of life, constantly being thrown new information, my brain doesnt want a classical novel, my brain wants something readable and immersive. 
tl;dr don’t feel bad for not reading as much as you used to, it’s okay. Read what you can when you can and don’t stress about the rest


But nowadays, there are so many more resources for reading that you can gain access to. Even though you’re busy and stressed out my life, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue to strive to read whenever possible. I’ve compiled this basic list of super accessible ways to read in the modern age.1. LibbyLibby is a library app, and it free to use. If you have a library card (which you can either pick up at a branch or online, depending on where you live), you put in your information, and you have access to your library’s ebooks and audiobooks. Generally, you can check ebooks out for two to three weeks, and it gives you the option to renew (if someone isn’t waiting in line for that book) or return early. It’s super user- friendly. If you want to scam the system a little bit, a lot of libraries give you 30 to 60 days after making a card online to come in and actually get a physical card and show your ID. If you are looking for a specific book that your library may not have, make library cards at other locations with fake addresses and check out their supply. I personally have about eight library cards, so I always can find what I’m looking for unless it’s super rare. 2. KindleWhile you can buy the actual Amazon e-reader, you can also just use the free app. There are a bunch of ebooks you can read for free, or for a low price. If you have Kindle Unlimited ($10/month), you can borrow up to ten KU books at a time for as long as you want. A lot of authors have KU books, so it’s a good way to go. 3. NookBarnes and Noble’s Nook is similar to the Kindle—comes in a physical e-reader, but is also usable as a free app. I will say I find that their selection generally costs more than Amazon’s selection, but it’s an option if you prefer to stay away from Amazon products. One thing they do sometime around the end of the year is send you out a refund check for all the books that you purchased through them that were at a higher market price then they would’ve been elsewhere. I’ve gotten like three of these, so I figure it’s a regular thing. 4. AudibleFor people who are sight-impaired or have difficulty sitting down and reading a book, audiobooks are SO the way to go. When you sign up, you can receive up to two free audiobooks, and whatever plan you decide to go with gives you two free audiobooks a month (from a specific selection) in addition to your credits! If you have Kindle ebooks, there is sometimes an option to purchase the accompanying Audible audiobook for a super discounted rate. If you don’t like an audiobook, you can call in to return it at any time. I have something like forty or fifty audiobooks from them, and I’ve exchanged another twenty. These options are all in addition to physical books from your local library, and discount bookstores. The nice thing about ebooks is that generally they have the option to highlight and bookmark pages, change the font size and type, and even change the color of the page if you prefer.I always thought audiobooks were for old people until a few years ago when I was commuting about three hours a day for work. I wasn’t reading nearly as much, and as an avid reader, that distressed me greatly.Finally, I looked into audiobooks and it was a huge life changer. Instead of wasting three hours a day in traffic, I was reading for three hours a day that I would’ve otherwise not been able to. Not only does it make a trip go faster, but it makes it much more enjoyable.And even if you don’t want it for the commute or for the gym, audiobooks are a really good option for people who have vision problems. I have migraines when I stare at screens too much, so I pop on an audiobook and just crochet or do the dishes. I have a friend who has very bad eyesight, and he has not been able to read in something close to a year. I set him up with a library card and a Libby account, and all of a sudden, he was able to catch up on all the books he had been wanting to read!I’m just saying, I promote reading because no matter what you read, you’re learning something. Even though life is stressful and crazy and distracting, there are still ways you can find to sit down and curl up with a good book.

“My brother has his sword, I have my books. And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone.” -Tyrion Lannister

takingbackmyfirstamendmentrights: dewdrop156: memecage: It do be like that. I was having a surprisingly good conversation with my sister r...

Advice, Af, and Bad: hm...buns @coolthottie college really be on some other shit "..and it has to be a minimum of 20 pages." You'll be writing a paper this semester" ft @coolthottie/jadasy ruby-white-rabbit: freddieandersen: inkskinned: HOW TO WRITE 20 PAGES (from one girl w/mental illness 2 the rest of u, but please keep in mind all of this is just personal Stuff That Worked for me n u might be different): first of all, and probably most importantly, make that paper about something you actually give a shit about. if you can write an essay on how long shakespeare’s dick is when you’re talking to your friends, that’s a good topic. don’t choose something u don’t care about, you will Want To Die “okay but the only topics are ones i don’t care about” talk 2 ur teacher 99% of the time if you’re like “here’s a well-thought-out thesis can i talk about this instead” they’re like “sure lmao i just couldn’t think of other paper topics to suggest” “they said no” cool find the one u hate the least and try to tie it into something u like. for example i really hated this stupid paper i had to write about a stupid book so i ended up writing about the food inside the book and whether or not it was a historically accurate depiction of food. turns out i fucking love talking about food. i also remade some of the old recipes and brought them in as part of the presentation of my project and people went fuckken nuts bc BREAD. basically i thought about “what motivates me? uh food” and followed that. it was a 45-page book about bread and i looked like a really good student when really i just love bread (somewhere, oprah smiles over me) the 20-pagers are the ones you Actually Cannot Do the night before. i know we all got real fuckken cocky back in hs when we learned how to do 5 pages in one night w/out trying too hard but 1. as a teacher now i can tell u for sure that teachers do know you rushed it, we just Don’t Care bc We’re Not Paid Enough and 2. twenty pages is not the same thing. you need to actually take the time to do it. this is the actual version of “you’re not in hs anymore” DONT lie to yourself and think “it’s fine i’ll do it in one day” you will !! Regret it!!!!  “raquel. raquel. listen to me. do you actually believe i’m capable of time management. raquel i have depression i barely manage to exist.” same. but the truth is that when i started like?? actually following the rules of timelines and taking my time etc it actually really helps mental illness. you don’t feel pressured all the time by a deadline, so your anxiety chills a little bit. small progress being acceptable means that on depression days, you don’t have to worry you’re fucking it all up. when it’s 15 minutes every day (even if it’s only 1 word a day) it feels a lot better. ask the teacher what timeline they’d recommend. they actually Know. always ask if it’s informal or formal (if you can use “I” statements or not). informal essays can rely on personal feelings and are so much easier and trust me if you find out on the day it’s due that you could have written 12 pages about your feelings instead of 12 pages of research, you will Be Very Upset i lie to myself all the time and move the deadline up. i write it in my agenda as at least 2 days before it’s due. surprise!!! i tricked u, self!!! you can’t procrastinate!!  agendas/planners need to be what actually works for you. i liked to prioritize w/colors + keep lists. i really love crossing things off lists. it’s like… a balm. for me, i usually say i have to finish the first 2 things, start the 3rd thing, and “touch” at least half the list. if i finish the whole list i get a prize. also i get to cross off everything which is so satisfying i’m sure it’s someone’s idea of a rush. there’s so many “how to” documents on these that i won’t get into it but frankly?? if you don’t write it down you will not remember it. “yes i will” no you won’t greg. just do it. write it down. write it where u can see it. not there, greg. greg, somewhere good. my friend is smart af and uses a post-it on her laptop. that doesn’t work for me bc i can just? use my hand to cover the anxiety? so choose somewhere good greg. nervous system, skeleton, meat, skin. nervous system is the thesis. skeleton is quotes/data. meat is the analysis of that data. skin is the fancy transitions + beautification.  meat goes on both sides of bone, and skin goes all around. nervous system has to touch everything. do what your teachers have been begging u to do since 3rd grade and start w/an outline. do this while you read/research. i usually have a starter thesis like “lady macbeth is a feminist ICON” then take the quotes i think fit. but if while you’re reading u realize u wanna talk about the use of feminine language and how shakespeare parallels daintiness w/sharpness, u still have a bunch of quotes you can use or not use. this works also w/research papers. just pull what u think is something u wanna talk about. copy-paste it but leave a link to where u got it. then put a bullet point under that says roughly why u mention it if you just write the outline like you’re keeping notes to yourself you’d be amazed how quickly you write the essay bc we get stuck in academic language but it’s easier to translate “this is why bees are the #bomb” into a paragraph. i mean you just rewrite your notes to yourself in academic speech. “The above passage illustrates the growing necessity of pollinators such as bees in an agricultural environment.” keep track of your sources + label them. don’t just write “(SOURCE)” instead if you’re using multiple sources use the lazygirl way which is (SA1) or whatever shorthand u have for each source. then when you need to finish your sources you go to your little source document, find the one labelled SA1 and then “Find+replace” w/the actual source. integrate quotes so it reads w/clarity which means don’t do this but if you’re running late on it and don’t have time to look up the quote u want to fit this situation, technically you can “use any” word you want (56). so yeah “there is” a moral question about it but you “can” make up quotes (79, 90). don’t “actually” do this unless you’re seriously in a crunch. which u shouldn’t be, bc u managed ur time, right? running late part 2 (which again would never happen bc you followed my advice and made a little time table for yourself but anyway if it does somehow magically happen) i really recommend using school computers to do your work. ur surrounded by people who will hold u accountable + u will focus running late pt3 on the day of it being due, around 5 PM, be honest w/yourself and see where you are. if you’re like “it needs 2 more hours” okay. but if you’re like “this is……… not started” email the teacher. they’ll be so much more receptive the earlier you do this in the process. it looks like “i’m genuinely struggling and i hope to finish this on time but i’m worried i won’t” instead of “i started this at 11:58PM and am asking for an extension”. please also just… be honest?  “my teacher won’t accept late work!” they all say that, he probably will, particularly if you have a note from the school therapist being like “lmao she’s got so many mental illnesses idek how to help her” “no he really doesn’t, he doesn’t care” you can file for disability if you have mental illness, and, in fact, you should if it’s something that often stops you from completing work on time. i didn’t bc i found that it just let me procrastinate for a longer time, but having that on file means you can go to the dean. “no!!! raquel you’re not listening i have 2 pages and he doesn’t take late work!!!!!!!!!”  okay. yeah that’s bad. but nerves, skeleton, meat, skin. what is it that you’re struggling with? is it that your can’t find any quotes to back up your thesis? impossible, tbh, you need to be more willing to purposefully misuse quotes (don’t do that). but the better option is to just change the thesis.  “i don’t even have that!!” did you. do the reading? if you even just watched the movie, you probably have an opinion on something even if it’s “this is bad.” you can use that. use why you didn’t like it to write a hate-fueled examination on how whiny the main character is and why u think the author is trying to point out how miserable cis white boys are to deal with.  “i don’t have enough sources!!!” go to wikipedia’s page about it and look @ the sources. try to like actually read some if you have time but frankly in a hurry a student (me) might be compelled to just slap the source in there.  “how the fuck do i analyze this”. u know how ppl agonize over why an actor breathed in a scene. melt into that kind of thinking. you can literally force the words to mean whatever you want. i’ve talked about word choice so specific that i based a 12-page essay on three separate uses of the words “my dear”. i talked about the possessive “my” and how it developed for like 5 of those pages. and always repeat the thesis like a million times. after every analysis you should talk about how it links to the thesis. that is like a free 3 sentences every paragraph. “i did all that and it’s still 3 pages too short” quick ways to Beef Him Up: definitions are great in research papers + essays bc you can talk about either word choice or like the definition of every process used in getting the data. also make the conclusion hella informative (it should answer “what does this mean moving forwards” most of the time, tie it into modern life or into the past). thicken ur intro with “here’s a quote from this guy about it and what he personally felt about acid-base titrations”, use a paragraph to talk about the history of the data/book, use a paragraph to talk about the modern reception of the data/book. also look for where you can use two words instead of one even tho like grammatically don’t do that. worst comes to worst, brevity is the soul of wit. most teachers prefer concise over rambling and all over the place. if you choose to scoot under the page limit, tho, your writing etc needs to be exceptionally clean. frankly i’ve only done this once and it was terrifying make computer read it aloud 2 u before u submit. “raquel….. i can’t look at it anymore”. you’re not looking @ it, you’re discovering you wrote “breath” not “breathe” and u need to change it tutoring centers exist, i worked in one, and this is how i know they actually Help and have Good Ideas ask about extra credit and do it tbh good luck…. breathe. and remember u are astronomically more important than a grade could ever be. do you have trouble writing words on paper but you know what you want to say? because that’s my personal form of useless perfectionism. like, you can tell your friend all about what you’re planning on writing, and talk about it for like 20 minutes straight? make notes for imaginary slides for an imaginary presentation on the topic oops you have an outline now! your imaginary slides? paragraphs (or if ur paper is long af, each imaginary bullet point is a paragraph and each imaginary slide is a couple pages) credit for this tip goes to my therapist. thanks amy. u solved paper writing for me and at least seven of my friends Partial credit is better than no credit at all. Only have 5 pages the day it’s due? TURN IT IN. It’s better than a zero if the teacher won’t work with you on an extension or late work
Advice, Af, and Bad: hm...buns
 @coolthottie
 college really be on some other shit
 "..and it has to be a
 minimum of 20
 pages."
 You'll be writing a
 paper this semester"
 ft
 @coolthottie/jadasy
ruby-white-rabbit:

freddieandersen:
inkskinned:

HOW TO WRITE 20 PAGES (from one girl w/mental illness 2 the rest of u, but please keep in mind all of this is just personal Stuff That Worked for me n u might be different):
first of all, and probably most importantly, make that paper about something you actually give a shit about. if you can write an essay on how long shakespeare’s dick is when you’re talking to your friends, that’s a good topic. don’t choose something u don’t care about, you will Want To Die
“okay but the only topics are ones i don’t care about” talk 2 ur teacher 99% of the time if you’re like “here’s a well-thought-out thesis can i talk about this instead” they’re like “sure lmao i just couldn’t think of other paper topics to suggest”
“they said no” cool find the one u hate the least and try to tie it into something u like. for example i really hated this stupid paper i had to write about a stupid book so i ended up writing about the food inside the book and whether or not it was a historically accurate depiction of food. turns out i fucking love talking about food. i also remade some of the old recipes and brought them in as part of the presentation of my project and people went fuckken nuts bc BREAD. basically i thought about “what motivates me? uh food” and followed that. it was a 45-page book about bread and i looked like a really good student when really i just love bread (somewhere, oprah smiles over me)
the 20-pagers are the ones you Actually Cannot Do the night before. i know we all got real fuckken cocky back in hs when we learned how to do 5 pages in one night w/out trying too hard but 1. as a teacher now i can tell u for sure that teachers do know you rushed it, we just Don’t Care bc We’re Not Paid Enough and 2. twenty pages is not the same thing. you need to actually take the time to do it. this is the actual version of “you’re not in hs anymore” DONT lie to yourself and think “it’s fine i’ll do it in one day” you will !! Regret it!!!! 
“raquel. raquel. listen to me. do you actually believe i’m capable of time management. raquel i have depression i barely manage to exist.” same. but the truth is that when i started like?? actually following the rules of timelines and taking my time etc it actually really helps mental illness. you don’t feel pressured all the time by a deadline, so your anxiety chills a little bit. small progress being acceptable means that on depression days, you don’t have to worry you’re fucking it all up. when it’s 15 minutes every day (even if it’s only 1 word a day) it feels a lot better.
ask the teacher what timeline they’d recommend. they actually Know.

always ask if it’s informal or formal (if you can use “I” statements or not). informal essays can rely on personal feelings and are so much easier and trust me if you find out on the day it’s due that you could have written 12 pages about your feelings instead of 12 pages of research, you will Be Very Upset
i lie to myself all the time and move the deadline up. i write it in my agenda as at least 2 days before it’s due. surprise!!! i tricked u, self!!! you can’t procrastinate!! 
agendas/planners need to be what actually works for you. i liked to prioritize w/colors + keep lists. i really love crossing things off lists. it’s like… a balm. for me, i usually say i have to finish the first 2 things, start the 3rd thing, and “touch” at least half the list. if i finish the whole list i get a prize. also i get to cross off everything which is so satisfying i’m sure it’s someone’s idea of a rush. there’s so many “how to” documents on these that i won’t get into it but frankly?? if you don’t write it down you will not remember it. “yes i will” no you won’t greg. just do it. write it down. write it where u can see it. not there, greg. greg, somewhere good. my friend is smart af and uses a post-it on her laptop. that doesn’t work for me bc i can just? use my hand to cover the anxiety? so choose somewhere good greg.
nervous system, skeleton, meat, skin. nervous system is the thesis. skeleton is quotes/data. meat is the analysis of that data. skin is the fancy transitions + beautification.  meat goes on both sides of bone, and skin goes all around. nervous system has to touch everything. do what your teachers have been begging u to do since 3rd grade and start w/an outline. do this while you read/research. i usually have a starter thesis like “lady macbeth is a feminist ICON” then take the quotes i think fit. but if while you’re reading u realize u wanna talk about the use of feminine language and how shakespeare parallels daintiness w/sharpness, u still have a bunch of quotes you can use or not use. this works also w/research papers. just pull what u think is something u wanna talk about. copy-paste it but leave a link to where u got it. then put a bullet point under that says roughly why u mention it
if you just write the outline like you’re keeping notes to yourself you’d be amazed how quickly you write the essay bc we get stuck in academic language but it’s easier to translate “this is why bees are the #bomb” into a paragraph. i mean you just rewrite your notes to yourself in academic speech. “The above passage illustrates the growing necessity of pollinators such as bees in an agricultural environment.”
keep track of your sources + label them. don’t just write “(SOURCE)” instead if you’re using multiple sources use the lazygirl way which is (SA1) or whatever shorthand u have for each source. then when you need to finish your sources you go to your little source document, find the one labelled SA1 and then “Find+replace” w/the actual source.
integrate quotes so it reads w/clarity which means don’t do this but if you’re running late on it and don’t have time to look up the quote u want to fit this situation, technically you can “use any” word you want (56). so yeah “there is” a moral question about it but you “can” make up quotes (79, 90). don’t “actually” do this unless you’re seriously in a crunch. which u shouldn’t be, bc u managed ur time, right?
running late part 2 (which again would never happen bc you followed my advice and made a little time table for yourself but anyway if it does somehow magically happen) i really recommend using school computers to do your work. ur surrounded by people who will hold u accountable + u will focus
running late pt3 on the day of it being due, around 5 PM, be honest w/yourself and see where you are. if you’re like “it needs 2 more hours” okay. but if you’re like “this is……… not started” email the teacher. they’ll be so much more receptive the earlier you do this in the process. it looks like “i’m genuinely struggling and i hope to finish this on time but i’m worried i won’t” instead of “i started this at 11:58PM and am asking for an extension”. please also just… be honest? 
“my teacher won’t accept late work!” they all say that, he probably will, particularly if you have a note from the school therapist being like “lmao she’s got so many mental illnesses idek how to help her”
“no he really doesn’t, he doesn’t care” you can file for disability if you have mental illness, and, in fact, you should if it’s something that often stops you from completing work on time. i didn’t bc i found that it just let me procrastinate for a longer time, but having that on file means you can go to the dean.
“no!!! raquel you’re not listening i have 2 pages and he doesn’t take late work!!!!!!!!!”  okay. yeah that’s bad. but nerves, skeleton, meat, skin. what is it that you’re struggling with? is it that your can’t find any quotes to back up your thesis? impossible, tbh, you need to be more willing to purposefully misuse quotes (don’t do that). but the better option is to just change the thesis. 
“i don’t even have that!!” did you. do the reading? if you even just watched the movie, you probably have an opinion on something even if it’s “this is bad.” you can use that. use why you didn’t like it to write a hate-fueled examination on how whiny the main character is and why u think the author is trying to point out how miserable cis white boys are to deal with. 
“i don’t have enough sources!!!” go to wikipedia’s page about it and look @ the sources. try to like actually read some if you have time but frankly in a hurry a student (me) might be compelled to just slap the source in there. 
“how the fuck do i analyze this”. u know how ppl agonize over why an actor breathed in a scene. melt into that kind of thinking. you can literally force the words to mean whatever you want. i’ve talked about word choice so specific that i based a 12-page essay on three separate uses of the words “my dear”. i talked about the possessive “my” and how it developed for like 5 of those pages. and always repeat the thesis like a million times. after every analysis you should talk about how it links to the thesis. that is like a free 3 sentences every paragraph.
“i did all that and it’s still 3 pages too short” quick ways to Beef Him Up: definitions are great in research papers + essays bc you can talk about either word choice or like the definition of every process used in getting the data. also make the conclusion hella informative (it should answer “what does this mean moving forwards” most of the time, tie it into modern life or into the past). thicken ur intro with “here’s a quote from this guy about it and what he personally felt about acid-base titrations”, use a paragraph to talk about the history of the data/book, use a paragraph to talk about the modern reception of the data/book. also look for where you can use two words instead of one even tho like grammatically don’t do that.
worst comes to worst, brevity is the soul of wit. most teachers prefer concise over rambling and all over the place. if you choose to scoot under the page limit, tho, your writing etc needs to be exceptionally clean. frankly i’ve only done this once and it was terrifying
make computer read it aloud 2 u before u submit. “raquel….. i can’t look at it anymore”. you’re not looking @ it, you’re discovering you wrote “breath” not “breathe” and u need to change it
tutoring centers exist, i worked in one, and this is how i know they actually Help and have Good Ideas
ask about extra credit and do it tbh
good luck…. breathe. and remember u are astronomically more important than a grade could ever be.


do you have trouble writing words on paper but you know what you want to say? because that’s my personal form of useless perfectionism. 
like, you can tell your friend all about what you’re planning on writing, and talk about it for like 20 minutes straight?
make notes for imaginary slides for an imaginary presentation on the topic
oops you have an outline now! your imaginary slides? paragraphs (or if ur paper is long af, each imaginary bullet point is a paragraph and each imaginary slide is a couple pages)
credit for this tip goes to my therapist. thanks amy. u solved paper writing for me and at least seven of my friends


Partial credit is better than no credit at all. Only have 5 pages the day it’s due? TURN IT IN. It’s better than a zero if the teacher won’t work with you on an extension or late work

ruby-white-rabbit: freddieandersen: inkskinned: HOW TO WRITE 20 PAGES (from one girl w/mental illness 2 the rest of u, but please keep in ...