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Bad, Beer, and Life: Guillermo del Toro says he saw a real UFO and it was 'horribly designed' The Shape of Water director Guillermo 2.4K by Laura Hudson/2d thefingerfuckingfemalefury: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: doux-amer: truestoriesaboutme: dragon-in-a-fez: imagine you saw an alien spacecraft and your first reaction was to critique its flat color palette and unimaginative lines The Truth is Out There and It Has Bad Aesthetics Because context actually makes the already great headline even greater: “I know this is horrible,” del Toro continues. “You sound like a complete lunatic, but I saw a UFO. I didn’t want to see a UFO. It was horribly designed. I was with a friend. We bought a six-pack. We didn’t consume it, and there was a place called Cerro del Cuatro, “Mountain of the Four,” on the periphery of Guadalajara. We said, ‘Let’s go to the highway.’ We sit down to watch the stars and have the beer and talk. We were the only guys by the freeway. And we saw a light on the horizon going super-fast, not linear. And I said, ‘Honk and flash the lights.’ And we started honking.” The UFO, says del Toro, “Went from 1,000 meters away [to much closer] in less than a second — and it was so crappy. It was a flying saucer, so clichéd, with lights [blinking]. It’s so sad: I wish I could reveal they’re not what you think they are. They are what you think they are. And the fear we felt was so primal. I have never been that scared in my life. We jumped in the car, drove really fast. It was following us, and then I looked back and it was gone.” (x) the same man that made a movie about making giant robots to fight aliens SAW SOME ALIENS, INSULTED THEIR AESTHETIC, and RAN AWAY SCREAMING “there is intelligent life out there but it’s really fuckin tacky”
Bad, Beer, and Life: Guillermo del Toro says he saw a
 real UFO and it was 'horribly
 designed'
 The Shape of Water director Guillermo
 2.4K by Laura Hudson/2d
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

doux-amer:

truestoriesaboutme:

dragon-in-a-fez:
imagine you saw an alien spacecraft and your first reaction was to critique its flat color palette and unimaginative lines
The Truth is Out There and It Has Bad Aesthetics

Because context actually makes the already great headline even greater:

“I know this is horrible,” del Toro continues. “You sound like a complete lunatic, but I saw a UFO. I didn’t want to see a UFO. It was horribly designed. I was with a friend. We bought a six-pack. We didn’t consume it, and there was a place called Cerro del Cuatro, “Mountain of the Four,” on the periphery of Guadalajara. We said, ‘Let’s go to the highway.’ We sit down to watch the stars and have the beer and talk. We were the only guys by the freeway. And we saw a light on the horizon going super-fast, not linear. And I said, ‘Honk and flash the lights.’ And we started honking.”
The UFO, says del Toro, “Went from 1,000 meters away [to much closer] in less than a second — and it was so crappy. It was a flying saucer, so clichéd, with lights [blinking]. It’s so sad: I wish I could reveal they’re not what you think they are. They are what you think they are. And the fear we felt was so primal. I have never been that scared in my life. We jumped in the car, drove really fast. It was following us, and then I looked back and it was gone.”
(x)



the same man that made a movie about making giant robots to fight aliens SAW SOME ALIENS, INSULTED THEIR AESTHETIC, and RAN AWAY SCREAMING

“there is intelligent life out there but it’s really fuckin tacky”

thefingerfuckingfemalefury: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: doux-amer: truestoriesaboutme: dragon-in-a-fez: imagine you saw an alien spa...

College, England, and Facebook: lacinari: himynameisizzy: ressila: z-yess: ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday: grunge-aesthetic-lover: Over 75% of people lie on social media ‼️ The truth is that people tend to lie on social networks. How? First, people directly lie about their lives, which is often an effort to make themselves look more desirable or positive. In a study examining 80 online daters, Hancock, Toma, and Ellison found that two thirds of participants lied about their weight by five pounds or more. In a large sample of over 2000 people in England conducted by Custard.com, 43 percent of men admitted to making up facts about themselves and their lives that were not true online. Even more commonly, people “lie” by presenting an image of themselves and their lives that is imprecise or less than comprehensive, leading the viewer to believe falsehoods. For example, in the Custard.com study, only 18 percent of men and 19 percent of women reported that their Facebook page displayed “a completely accurate reflection” of who they are. Most commonly, participants said that they only shared “non-boring” aspects of their lives (32 percent) and were not as “active” as their social media accounts appeared (14 percent). Indeed, a growing body of research suggests that social media use can negatively affect your psychological health, particularly if you compare yourself to the positive images you see online. In a study of 339 college women (Puglia, 2017), the tendency to compare oneself to others was associated with poorer body esteem. Furthermore, in a sub-sample of 58 women in the Puglia study, those with higher levels of Facebook usage displayed lower body satisfaction than those with lower Facebook usage. Similarly, in an experimental study by Vogel and colleagues, participants who tended to compare themselves to others more regularly had lower self-esteem, more negative emotions, and a poorer view of themselves after using Facebook than participants who did not tend to compare themselves to others.  Consequently, when engaging with social media, it is critical to remind yourself that what you see is not an accurate picture of reality. Don’t compare yourself to the images of friends, colleagues, or celebrities. Remind yourself that it is just a snapshot of their life—and one that they want you to see. –> YOU CAN GET SOCIAL MEDIA SERIOUSLY HARMS YOUR MENTAL HEALTH PHONE CASE HERE <– Every purchase supports The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention the nation’s largest non-profit dedicated to saving lives and bringing hope to those affected by suicide. Fake life for “like’s” of people, which you will not meet =) And this is our future? Thank’s, but I don’t want to be a part of this madness. Who’s with me? My brother never had a social media account ever in his life, not Facebook or Instagram and he is only 23 years old. his life is worry free and he only does things for himself not to impress others, He is living a happy life I am working on being like him I really love this message. It’s proven that social media increases depression and loneliness. Just live your life and stop worrying about others to compare yourself, you will never be happy this way.  I really don’t get why people feel the need to lie about their lives to people they’ll never meet. Just be fuckin honest🙄 So I’ve been wanting this case for a week and I get to show off my new white xr while also sharing an important message about social media being harmful to your mental health. I like this case a lot and more people need to realize the harm of social media.
College, England, and Facebook: lacinari:

himynameisizzy:
ressila:


z-yess:

ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday:

grunge-aesthetic-lover:

Over 75% of people lie on social media ‼️
The truth is that people tend to lie on social networks. How? First, people directly lie about their lives, which is often an effort to make themselves look more desirable or positive. In a study examining 80 online daters, Hancock, Toma, and Ellison found that two thirds of participants lied about their weight by five pounds or more. In a large sample of over 2000 people in England conducted by Custard.com, 43 percent of men admitted to making up facts about themselves and their lives that were not true online.
Even more commonly, people “lie” by presenting an image of themselves and their lives that is imprecise or less than comprehensive, leading the viewer to believe falsehoods. For example, in the Custard.com study, only 18 percent of men and 19 percent of women reported that their Facebook page displayed “a completely accurate reflection” of who they are. Most commonly, participants said that they only shared “non-boring” aspects of their lives (32 percent) and were not as “active” as their social media accounts appeared (14 percent). 
Indeed, a growing body of research suggests that social media use can negatively affect your psychological health, particularly if you compare yourself to the positive images you see online. In a study of 339 college women (Puglia, 2017), the tendency to compare oneself to others was associated with poorer body esteem. Furthermore, in a sub-sample of 58 women in the Puglia study, those with higher levels of Facebook usage displayed lower body satisfaction than those with lower Facebook usage. Similarly, in an experimental study by Vogel and colleagues, participants who tended to compare themselves to others more regularly had lower self-esteem, more negative emotions, and a poorer view of themselves after using Facebook than participants who did not tend to compare themselves to others. 
Consequently, when engaging with social media, it is critical to remind yourself that what you see is not an accurate picture of reality. Don’t compare yourself to the images of friends, colleagues, or celebrities. Remind yourself that it is just a snapshot of their life—and one that they want you to see.
–> YOU CAN GET SOCIAL MEDIA SERIOUSLY HARMS YOUR MENTAL HEALTH PHONE CASE HERE <–
Every purchase supports The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention the nation’s largest non-profit dedicated to saving lives and bringing hope to those affected by suicide.

Fake life for “like’s” of people, which you will not meet =) And this is our future? Thank’s, but I don’t want to be a part of this madness. Who’s with me?

My brother never had a social media account ever in his life, not Facebook or Instagram and he is only 23 years old. his life is worry free and he only does things for himself not to impress others, He is living a happy life I am working on being like him

I really love this message. It’s proven that social media increases depression and loneliness. Just live your life and stop worrying about others to compare yourself, you will never be happy this way. 


I really don’t get why people feel the need to lie about their lives to people they’ll never meet. Just be fuckin honest🙄

So I’ve been wanting this case for a week and I get to show off my new white xr while also sharing an important message about social media being harmful to your mental health. I like this case a lot and more people need to realize the harm of social media.

lacinari: himynameisizzy: ressila: z-yess: ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday: grunge-aesthetic-lover: Over 75% of people lie on social media ...

Ass, College, and England: pinky–heart: lacinari: himynameisizzy: ressila: z-yess: ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday: grunge-aesthetic-lover: Over 75% of people lie on social media ‼️ The truth is that people tend to lie on social networks. How? First, people directly lie about their lives, which is often an effort to make themselves look more desirable or positive. In a study examining 80 online daters, Hancock, Toma, and Ellison found that two thirds of participants lied about their weight by five pounds or more. In a large sample of over 2000 people in England conducted by Custard.com, 43 percent of men admitted to making up facts about themselves and their lives that were not true online. Even more commonly, people “lie” by presenting an image of themselves and their lives that is imprecise or less than comprehensive, leading the viewer to believe falsehoods. For example, in the Custard.com study, only 18 percent of men and 19 percent of women reported that their Facebook page displayed “a completely accurate reflection” of who they are. Most commonly, participants said that they only shared “non-boring” aspects of their lives (32 percent) and were not as “active” as their social media accounts appeared (14 percent). Indeed, a growing body of research suggests that social media use can negatively affect your psychological health, particularly if you compare yourself to the positive images you see online. In a study of 339 college women (Puglia, 2017), the tendency to compare oneself to others was associated with poorer body esteem. Furthermore, in a sub-sample of 58 women in the Puglia study, those with higher levels of Facebook usage displayed lower body satisfaction than those with lower Facebook usage. Similarly, in an experimental study by Vogel and colleagues, participants who tended to compare themselves to others more regularly had lower self-esteem, more negative emotions, and a poorer view of themselves after using Facebook than participants who did not tend to compare themselves to others.  Consequently, when engaging with social media, it is critical to remind yourself that what you see is not an accurate picture of reality. Don’t compare yourself to the images of friends, colleagues, or celebrities. Remind yourself that it is just a snapshot of their life—and one that they want you to see. –> YOU CAN GET SOCIAL MEDIA SERIOUSLY HARMS YOUR MENTAL HEALTH PHONE CASE HERE <– Every purchase supports The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention the nation’s largest non-profit dedicated to saving lives and bringing hope to those affected by suicide. Fake life for “like’s” of people, which you will not meet =) And this is our future? Thank’s, but I don’t want to be a part of this madness. Who’s with me? My brother never had a social media account ever in his life, not Facebook or Instagram and he is only 23 years old. his life is worry free and he only does things for himself not to impress others, He is living a happy life I am working on being like him I really love this message. It’s proven that social media increases depression and loneliness. Just live your life and stop worrying about others to compare yourself, you will never be happy this way.  I really don’t get why people feel the need to lie about their lives to people they’ll never meet. Just be fuckin honest🙄 So I’ve been wanting this case for a week and I get to show off my new white xr while also sharing an important message about social media being harmful to your mental health. I like this case a lot and more people need to realize the harm of social media. Question: Does Social Media Seriously Harms Your Mental Health?Answer: Yesssss!! I could go on and on about this.Social media as a whole, particularly Instagram, a place where people Look extremely High Fashioned but really Under Paid.Where self-worthy is based on how many likes, views and comments our posts gets. It’s B.S if you ask me:/ Seen friends who care more bout portraying an image and worry more about Trivial things( there’s more to life🤷🏻‍♂️). As soon as you open your social medias you will see something that will makes you think you’re being left behind. Being materialistic stuff or body image, anything really.Society teaches us that if our instagram posts don’t have a certain number of likes or views, our posts are not accepted of instagram quality posting given by society’s expectations and standards.On the flip side on the coin, social media is a really funny ass place, like you could LMAO day literally.POINT IS YOU DONT NEED SOCIAL APPROVAL TO KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH. YOU ARE LEGIT AWESOME! *USE SOCIAL MEDIA WISELY*
Ass, College, and England: pinky–heart:

lacinari:
himynameisizzy:

ressila:


z-yess:

ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday:

grunge-aesthetic-lover:

Over 75% of people lie on social media ‼️
The truth is that people tend to lie on social networks. How? First, people directly lie about their lives, which is often an effort to make themselves look more desirable or positive. In a study examining 80 online daters, Hancock, Toma, and Ellison found that two thirds of participants lied about their weight by five pounds or more. In a large sample of over 2000 people in England conducted by Custard.com, 43 percent of men admitted to making up facts about themselves and their lives that were not true online.
Even more commonly, people “lie” by presenting an image of themselves and their lives that is imprecise or less than comprehensive, leading the viewer to believe falsehoods. For example, in the Custard.com study, only 18 percent of men and 19 percent of women reported that their Facebook page displayed “a completely accurate reflection” of who they are. Most commonly, participants said that they only shared “non-boring” aspects of their lives (32 percent) and were not as “active” as their social media accounts appeared (14 percent). 
Indeed, a growing body of research suggests that social media use can negatively affect your psychological health, particularly if you compare yourself to the positive images you see online. In a study of 339 college women (Puglia, 2017), the tendency to compare oneself to others was associated with poorer body esteem. Furthermore, in a sub-sample of 58 women in the Puglia study, those with higher levels of Facebook usage displayed lower body satisfaction than those with lower Facebook usage. Similarly, in an experimental study by Vogel and colleagues, participants who tended to compare themselves to others more regularly had lower self-esteem, more negative emotions, and a poorer view of themselves after using Facebook than participants who did not tend to compare themselves to others. 
Consequently, when engaging with social media, it is critical to remind yourself that what you see is not an accurate picture of reality. Don’t compare yourself to the images of friends, colleagues, or celebrities. Remind yourself that it is just a snapshot of their life—and one that they want you to see.
–> YOU CAN GET SOCIAL MEDIA SERIOUSLY HARMS YOUR MENTAL HEALTH PHONE CASE HERE <–
Every purchase supports The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention the nation’s largest non-profit dedicated to saving lives and bringing hope to those affected by suicide.

Fake life for “like’s” of people, which you will not meet =) And this is our future? Thank’s, but I don’t want to be a part of this madness. Who’s with me?

My brother never had a social media account ever in his life, not Facebook or Instagram and he is only 23 years old. his life is worry free and he only does things for himself not to impress others, He is living a happy life I am working on being like him

I really love this message. It’s proven that social media increases depression and loneliness. Just live your life and stop worrying about others to compare yourself, you will never be happy this way. 


I really don’t get why people feel the need to lie about their lives to people they’ll never meet. Just be fuckin honest🙄

So I’ve been wanting this case for a week and I get to show off my new white xr while also sharing an important message about social media being harmful to your mental health. I like this case a lot and more people need to realize the harm of social media.

Question: Does Social Media Seriously Harms Your Mental Health?Answer: Yesssss!! I could go on and on about this.Social media as a whole, particularly Instagram, a place where people Look extremely High Fashioned but really Under Paid.Where self-worthy is based on how many likes, views and comments our posts gets. It’s B.S if you ask me:/ Seen friends who care more bout portraying an image and worry more about Trivial things( there’s more to life🤷🏻‍♂️). As soon as you open your social medias you will see something that will makes you think you’re being left behind. Being materialistic stuff or body image, anything really.Society teaches us that if our instagram posts don’t have a certain number of likes or views, our posts are not accepted of instagram quality posting given by society’s expectations and standards.On the flip side on the coin, social media is a really funny ass place, like you could LMAO day literally.POINT IS YOU DONT NEED SOCIAL APPROVAL TO KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH. YOU ARE LEGIT AWESOME! *USE SOCIAL MEDIA WISELY*

pinky–heart: lacinari: himynameisizzy: ressila: z-yess: ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday: grunge-aesthetic-lover: Over 75% of people lie on...

Ass, College, and England: pinky–heart: lacinari: himynameisizzy: ressila: z-yess: ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday: grunge-aesthetic-lover: Over 75% of people lie on social media ‼️ The truth is that people tend to lie on social networks. How? First, people directly lie about their lives, which is often an effort to make themselves look more desirable or positive. In a study examining 80 online daters, Hancock, Toma, and Ellison found that two thirds of participants lied about their weight by five pounds or more. In a large sample of over 2000 people in England conducted by Custard.com, 43 percent of men admitted to making up facts about themselves and their lives that were not true online. Even more commonly, people “lie” by presenting an image of themselves and their lives that is imprecise or less than comprehensive, leading the viewer to believe falsehoods. For example, in the Custard.com study, only 18 percent of men and 19 percent of women reported that their Facebook page displayed “a completely accurate reflection” of who they are. Most commonly, participants said that they only shared “non-boring” aspects of their lives (32 percent) and were not as “active” as their social media accounts appeared (14 percent). Indeed, a growing body of research suggests that social media use can negatively affect your psychological health, particularly if you compare yourself to the positive images you see online. In a study of 339 college women (Puglia, 2017), the tendency to compare oneself to others was associated with poorer body esteem. Furthermore, in a sub-sample of 58 women in the Puglia study, those with higher levels of Facebook usage displayed lower body satisfaction than those with lower Facebook usage. Similarly, in an experimental study by Vogel and colleagues, participants who tended to compare themselves to others more regularly had lower self-esteem, more negative emotions, and a poorer view of themselves after using Facebook than participants who did not tend to compare themselves to others.  Consequently, when engaging with social media, it is critical to remind yourself that what you see is not an accurate picture of reality. Don’t compare yourself to the images of friends, colleagues, or celebrities. Remind yourself that it is just a snapshot of their life—and one that they want you to see. –> YOU CAN GET SOCIAL MEDIA SERIOUSLY HARMS YOUR MENTAL HEALTH PHONE CASE HERE <– Every purchase supports The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention the nation’s largest non-profit dedicated to saving lives and bringing hope to those affected by suicide. Fake life for “like’s” of people, which you will not meet =) And this is our future? Thank’s, but I don’t want to be a part of this madness. Who’s with me? My brother never had a social media account ever in his life, not Facebook or Instagram and he is only 23 years old. his life is worry free and he only does things for himself not to impress others, He is living a happy life I am working on being like him I really love this message. It’s proven that social media increases depression and loneliness. Just live your life and stop worrying about others to compare yourself, you will never be happy this way.  I really don’t get why people feel the need to lie about their lives to people they’ll never meet. Just be fuckin honest🙄 So I’ve been wanting this case for a week and I get to show off my new white xr while also sharing an important message about social media being harmful to your mental health. I like this case a lot and more people need to realize the harm of social media. Question: Does Social Media Seriously Harms Your Mental Health?Answer: Yesssss!! I could go on and on about this.Social media as a whole, particularly Instagram, a place where people Look extremely High Fashioned but really Under Paid.Where self-worthy is based on how many likes, views and comments our posts gets. It’s B.S if you ask me:/ Seen friends who care more bout portraying an image and worry more about Trivial things( there’s more to life🤷🏻‍♂️). As soon as you open your social medias you will see something that will makes you think you’re being left behind. Being materialistic stuff or body image, anything really.Society teaches us that if our instagram posts don’t have a certain number of likes or views, our posts are not accepted of instagram quality posting given by society’s expectations and standards.On the flip side on the coin, social media is a really funny ass place, like you could LMAO day literally.POINT IS YOU DONT NEED SOCIAL APPROVAL TO KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH. YOU ARE LEGIT AWESOME! *USE SOCIAL MEDIA WISELY*
Ass, College, and England: pinky–heart:

lacinari:
himynameisizzy:

ressila:


z-yess:

ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday:

grunge-aesthetic-lover:

Over 75% of people lie on social media ‼️
The truth is that people tend to lie on social networks. How? First, people directly lie about their lives, which is often an effort to make themselves look more desirable or positive. In a study examining 80 online daters, Hancock, Toma, and Ellison found that two thirds of participants lied about their weight by five pounds or more. In a large sample of over 2000 people in England conducted by Custard.com, 43 percent of men admitted to making up facts about themselves and their lives that were not true online.
Even more commonly, people “lie” by presenting an image of themselves and their lives that is imprecise or less than comprehensive, leading the viewer to believe falsehoods. For example, in the Custard.com study, only 18 percent of men and 19 percent of women reported that their Facebook page displayed “a completely accurate reflection” of who they are. Most commonly, participants said that they only shared “non-boring” aspects of their lives (32 percent) and were not as “active” as their social media accounts appeared (14 percent). 
Indeed, a growing body of research suggests that social media use can negatively affect your psychological health, particularly if you compare yourself to the positive images you see online. In a study of 339 college women (Puglia, 2017), the tendency to compare oneself to others was associated with poorer body esteem. Furthermore, in a sub-sample of 58 women in the Puglia study, those with higher levels of Facebook usage displayed lower body satisfaction than those with lower Facebook usage. Similarly, in an experimental study by Vogel and colleagues, participants who tended to compare themselves to others more regularly had lower self-esteem, more negative emotions, and a poorer view of themselves after using Facebook than participants who did not tend to compare themselves to others. 
Consequently, when engaging with social media, it is critical to remind yourself that what you see is not an accurate picture of reality. Don’t compare yourself to the images of friends, colleagues, or celebrities. Remind yourself that it is just a snapshot of their life—and one that they want you to see.
–> YOU CAN GET SOCIAL MEDIA SERIOUSLY HARMS YOUR MENTAL HEALTH PHONE CASE HERE <–
Every purchase supports The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention the nation’s largest non-profit dedicated to saving lives and bringing hope to those affected by suicide.

Fake life for “like’s” of people, which you will not meet =) And this is our future? Thank’s, but I don’t want to be a part of this madness. Who’s with me?

My brother never had a social media account ever in his life, not Facebook or Instagram and he is only 23 years old. his life is worry free and he only does things for himself not to impress others, He is living a happy life I am working on being like him

I really love this message. It’s proven that social media increases depression and loneliness. Just live your life and stop worrying about others to compare yourself, you will never be happy this way. 


I really don’t get why people feel the need to lie about their lives to people they’ll never meet. Just be fuckin honest🙄

So I’ve been wanting this case for a week and I get to show off my new white xr while also sharing an important message about social media being harmful to your mental health. I like this case a lot and more people need to realize the harm of social media.

Question: Does Social Media Seriously Harms Your Mental Health?Answer: Yesssss!! I could go on and on about this.Social media as a whole, particularly Instagram, a place where people Look extremely High Fashioned but really Under Paid.Where self-worthy is based on how many likes, views and comments our posts gets. It’s B.S if you ask me:/ Seen friends who care more bout portraying an image and worry more about Trivial things( there’s more to life🤷🏻‍♂️). As soon as you open your social medias you will see something that will makes you think you’re being left behind. Being materialistic stuff or body image, anything really.Society teaches us that if our instagram posts don’t have a certain number of likes or views, our posts are not accepted of instagram quality posting given by society’s expectations and standards.On the flip side on the coin, social media is a really funny ass place, like you could LMAO day literally.POINT IS YOU DONT NEED SOCIAL APPROVAL TO KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH. YOU ARE LEGIT AWESOME! *USE SOCIAL MEDIA WISELY*

pinky–heart: lacinari: himynameisizzy: ressila: z-yess: ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday: grunge-aesthetic-lover: Over 75% of people lie on...

Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they
 have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them they’re doing their best :(

youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the...