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Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

Animals, Clothes, and Crying: Should I get rid of my dog if my boyfriend hates it? He told me not to get rid of my dog but feel like the little guy deserves a loving home. Yes my dog is one of the yappy small ones but he's a good dog. Teodora Motateanu, I love my 3 mastiffs Updated Sep 13 I'll be brutally honest and I don't go anonymous. I've been in exactly the same situation. Except that my dogs are not small nor yappy: they're mastiffs. 60 kg each. He of course never hit them in front of me or when he thought I could see. But l know my dogs. One of them gave clear clues that something's off That dog male, young unaltered Cane Corso - could've ripped my ex. apart in no time at all. He didn't. The dog was more intelligent than him. All my dog did for couple of months was to avoid the jerk. He silently left the room anytime the ex. was around. He left the bed and stopped cuddling whenever ex. entered the room And when the ex. escalated to hitting me the dog slowly stood up and moved towards us: he got in between. Submissively. He put his big body in front of me, to be hit instead of me. Choose for yourself, who you want to keep. naamahdarling: purplepints: cellular-thirst: catscatsholyshitcats: katnissdoesnotfollowback: corpsefluid: hmsindecision: feeltheberd: im crying Do you know how many dogs I’ve met that get scared or anxious around men because in their previous home men hit them? A lot, and they are very protective of the women who have adopted them now. Men who are violent towards women are often violent towards animals as well. They think we’re all chattel. If a man wants you to choose between your dog or cat or him, dump the guy. Those animals will love you for the rest of your life, loyal and true. Actually, I have something to add. The other day I saw a story where a woman was asking why her dogs had suddenly started growling at her boyfriend whenever he was in the same room as her son. And my immediate thought was ‘that boyfriend has hurt the kid somehow.’ Spoilers: that was exactly the case. Trust ur dogs when they say something is off. The first time my sister came to visit, via plane, after I got my dog, pupper growled at her and wouldn’t go near her for the first day. Next visit was by car (two day drive)and pupper LOVED my sister. They snuggled and played and none of us could figure out why the change. We thought maybe the scent of my sisters cat had lingered on her clothes, making that first visit a rough one. Whereas when she came by car, the scent had had time to wear off. Well that was partially true… Fast forward about six months when I went north to visit my family. My sister walked into my parents’ house and pupper ran to greet my sister. Stopped dead in her tracks and started growling and barking. Hackles raised, full protection mode. My sisters husband had just walked in behind her. My precious puppy wanted NOTHING to do with him. She barked, growled, ran away, and sat between him and my sister. Y'all my dog had spent maybe a weekend a half around my sister but protected her like this was her flesh and blood. Eventually, my sister filed for divorce on grounds of “Extreme and repeated mental, emotional, and sexual abuse.” Divorce was final in less than a month because her claims were substantiated. Trust the dog, honey. They KNOW. I’ve never owned dogs, but I used to work with horses (which are a lot like big dogs). There was this one horse I worked with named Tonto. He was a doll. He followed me like a puppy, snuck treats out of my pocket, he was the sweetest thing. We were practically inseparable. A guy I was considering dating came to visit me one day, and Tonto wanted NOTHING to do with him. Normally well behaved, he shoved himself between us and would NOT let this guy near me. He was stomping, acting really aggressive, and tried to bite the guy. This horse was practically dragging me back toward the barn. At that moment, despite being like, 17, I knew something was up, and ultimately things didn’t pan out for guy and me. A year later I found out he had lied about his age (he said he was 18 but he was actually 27) he was arrested for sexually assaulting an 11 year old girl. TRUST THE ANIMALS. ALWAYS TRUST THE BABS Animals recognize predators. The reply with the mastiff gets me every single time. I’m not a dog person but my god, they are Good Animals.
Animals, Clothes, and Crying: Should I get rid of my dog if my
 boyfriend hates it?
 He told me not to get rid of my dog but
 feel like the little guy deserves a loving
 home. Yes my dog is one of the yappy
 small ones but he's a good dog.
 Teodora Motateanu, I love my 3
 mastiffs
 Updated Sep 13
 I'll be brutally honest and I don't go
 anonymous.
 I've been in exactly the same situation.
 Except that my dogs are not small nor
 yappy: they're mastiffs. 60 kg each.

 He of course never hit them in front of
 me or when he thought I could see. But l
 know my dogs. One of them gave clear
 clues that something's off
 That dog male, young unaltered Cane
 Corso - could've ripped my ex. apart in
 no time at all. He didn't. The dog was
 more intelligent than him. All my dog did
 for couple of months was to avoid the
 jerk. He silently left the room anytime
 the ex. was around. He left the bed and
 stopped cuddling whenever ex. entered
 the room

 And when the ex. escalated to hitting me
 the dog slowly stood up and moved
 towards us: he got in between.
 Submissively. He put his big body in
 front of me, to be hit instead of me.
 Choose for yourself, who you want to
 keep.
naamahdarling:

purplepints:


cellular-thirst:

catscatsholyshitcats:

katnissdoesnotfollowback:

corpsefluid:

hmsindecision:

feeltheberd:

im crying

Do you know how many dogs I’ve met that get scared or anxious around men because in their previous home men hit them? A lot, and they are very protective of the women who have adopted them now.
Men who are violent towards women are often violent towards animals as well. They think we’re all chattel. If a man wants you to choose between your dog or cat or him, dump the guy. Those animals will love you for the rest of your life, loyal and true.

Actually, I have something to add.
The other day I saw a story where a woman was asking why her dogs had suddenly started growling at her boyfriend whenever he was in the same room as her son.
And my immediate thought was ‘that boyfriend has hurt the kid somehow.’
Spoilers: that was exactly the case.
Trust ur dogs when they say something is off.

The first time my sister came to visit, via plane, after I got my dog, pupper growled at her and wouldn’t go near her for the first day. Next visit was by car (two day drive)and pupper LOVED my sister. They snuggled and played and none of us could figure out why the change. We thought maybe the scent of my sisters cat had lingered on her clothes, making that first visit a rough one. Whereas when she came by car, the scent had had time to wear off. Well that was partially true…
Fast forward about six months when I went north to visit my family. My sister walked into my parents’ house and pupper ran to greet my sister. Stopped dead in her tracks and started growling and barking. Hackles raised, full protection mode. My sisters husband had just walked in behind her.
My precious puppy wanted NOTHING to do with him. She barked, growled, ran away, and sat between him and my sister. Y'all my dog had spent maybe a weekend a half around my sister but protected her like this was her flesh and blood.
Eventually, my sister filed for divorce on grounds of “Extreme and repeated mental, emotional, and sexual abuse.” Divorce was final in less than a month because her claims were substantiated.
Trust the dog, honey. They KNOW.


I’ve never owned dogs, but I used to work with horses (which are a lot like big dogs). 
There was this one horse I worked with named Tonto. He was a doll. He followed me like a puppy, snuck treats out of my pocket, he was the sweetest thing. We were practically inseparable. 
A guy I was considering dating came to visit me one day, and Tonto wanted NOTHING to do with him. Normally well behaved, he shoved himself between us and would NOT let this guy near me.  He was stomping, acting really aggressive, and tried to bite the guy. This horse was practically dragging me back toward the barn. At that moment, despite being like, 17, I knew something was up, and ultimately things didn’t pan out for guy and me. 
A year later I found out he had lied about his age (he said he was 18 but he was actually 27) he was arrested for sexually assaulting an 11 year old girl. 
TRUST THE ANIMALS.

ALWAYS TRUST THE BABS


Animals recognize predators. 


The reply with the mastiff gets me every single time. I’m not a dog person but my god, they are Good Animals.

naamahdarling: purplepints: cellular-thirst: catscatsholyshitcats: katnissdoesnotfollowback: corpsefluid: hmsindecision: feeltheberd...

Drunk, Fml, and Friday: Emplovee Saves Child From Kidnapper, Instead Of Promotion Gets This Letter Saying He's Fired This is Dillon Reagan. He recently stopped a child from getting kidnapped while he was at work OREGON EMPLOYMENT DEPARTMENT PO Box 14135 Satem, Oregon 97309 5068 (503) 292-2057, (541) 388-6207 or (877) 345 3484 (tol tree) Fax to (866) 345 1878 Administrative Decision OILLON T REAGAN Date Issued June 29,2017 Appeal Deadline Date: uly 19,2017 Cust ID: OUTCOME/RESULTADO. You are ALLOWED benefits on this claim, if otherwise eligible. Se le OTORGAN los beneficios en este reclamo, si de otra manera es elegible. FINDINGS You were employed by THE HOME DEPOT until June 19, 2017 when you were fired because you assisted the police in preventing a kidnapping. This was not a willful or wantonly negligent violation of the standards of behavior an employer has the right to expect of an employee LEGAL CONCLUSION/CONCLUSION JURÍDICA: You were fired but not for misconduct connected with work Usted no fue despedido por mala conducta relacionada con el trabajo. Dillon Reagan Jun 9 at 11:21pm HoPot Update: The Friday before Mother's Day, I was involved in a kidnapping attempt at my place of work. A woman had been assaulted and her child had been abducted by a drunk, violent man who was making a quick exit with the child in his arms. My co-worker and I called the police and followed their directions to follow at a distance to make sure they could find them when the squad care arrived on scene. Because of the actions of my co-worker and myself, that child was rescued from his abductor and the man was arrested on the spot. Today, Home Depot terminated my employment. I was fired for stopping a kidnapper from successfully abducting a child. FML chrisray-the-lariat-king: pon-raul: waisted-daisiess: thetrippytrip: If he manages to get that story viral, he’ll get a job 5 times better than his last one #youknowwhatImean BLOW THIS SHIT UP That’s Home Depot national policy 101 If an armed attacker comes into the store and threatens you, you will be fired for any form of retaliation, they tell you this on like day 1 More reasons Home Depot is Trash
Drunk, Fml, and Friday: Emplovee Saves Child From Kidnapper,
 Instead Of Promotion Gets This Letter
 Saying He's Fired

 This is Dillon Reagan. He recently
 stopped a child from getting
 kidnapped while he was at work

 OREGON EMPLOYMENT DEPARTMENT
 PO Box 14135 Satem, Oregon 97309 5068
 (503) 292-2057, (541) 388-6207 or (877) 345 3484 (tol tree)
 Fax to (866) 345 1878
 Administrative Decision
 OILLON T REAGAN
 Date Issued
 June 29,2017
 Appeal Deadline Date:
 uly 19,2017
 Cust ID:
 OUTCOME/RESULTADO.
 You are ALLOWED benefits on this claim, if otherwise eligible.
 Se le OTORGAN los beneficios en este reclamo, si de otra manera es elegible.
 FINDINGS
 You were employed by THE HOME DEPOT until June 19, 2017 when you were fired because you assisted
 the police in preventing a kidnapping. This was not a willful or wantonly negligent violation of the
 standards of behavior an employer has the right to expect of an employee
 LEGAL CONCLUSION/CONCLUSION JURÍDICA:
 You were fired but not for misconduct connected with work
 Usted no fue despedido por mala conducta relacionada con el trabajo.

 Dillon Reagan
 Jun 9 at 11:21pm
 HoPot Update:
 The Friday before Mother's Day, I was involved in a
 kidnapping attempt at my place of work.
 A woman had been assaulted and her child had been
 abducted by a drunk, violent man who was making a
 quick exit with the child in his arms.
 My co-worker and I called the police and followed their
 directions to follow at a distance to make sure they
 could find them when the squad care arrived on scene.
 Because of the actions of my co-worker and myself,
 that child was rescued from his abductor and the man
 was arrested on the spot.
 Today, Home Depot terminated my employment.
 I was fired for stopping a kidnapper from successfully
 abducting a child.
 FML
chrisray-the-lariat-king:

pon-raul:
waisted-daisiess:

thetrippytrip:


If he manages to get that story viral, he’ll get a job 5 times better than his last one #youknowwhatImean

BLOW THIS SHIT UP 


That’s Home Depot national policy 101
If an armed attacker comes into the store and threatens you, you will be fired for any form of retaliation, they tell you this on like day 1 

More reasons Home Depot is Trash

chrisray-the-lariat-king: pon-raul: waisted-daisiess: thetrippytrip: If he manages to get that story viral, he’ll get a job 5 times bett...