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We Keep: Dan Primack @danprimack 3h Automattic paid peanuts for Tumblr. Source familiar puts it well south of $20 million. Reminder: Yahoo paid $1.1 billion for it. t Tumblr Verizon agrees to sell Tumblr to owner of Wordpress Yahoo acquired the company in 2013 for $1.1 billion. &axios.com 84 t1.1K 1.9K Dan Primack @danprimack 2h Again, just to be clear... emphasis on the "well below" $20 million... t39 448 Dan Primack @danprimack 3/Story updated: Price less than $3 million. 6:16 PM Aug 12, 2019 TweetDeck 12000wheelsofseductivecheese: cutie-quinn: optometrictzedek: thewebcomicsreview: What’s funny is when you read articles about what happened, they never mention how Yahoo promised no ads only to put in ads anyway, pissing off and alienating users. They never mention that Verizon’s idea of “no adult content” was to implement poorly trained bots to clear the site of anything that looked like a tittie, which utterly failed at clearing the site of adult content or spam bots and instead forced millions of SFW users, especially artists, off the site. Instead they just say “Verizon’s decision to ban adult content upset and alienated many users.” Like no, that’s not even remotely what happened. I get new porn/spam bot follows daily even now, the problem is the worst its ever been, Verizon failed spectacularly at doing what they said they’d do (including protecting artists etc. from being targeted by their algorithms). The news wants the public to believe that we all threw a hissy fit and left en masse like a crowd of depraved neckbeards when tumblr banned adult content, driving the site into the ground as we left. Not a single article I’ve seen has discussed how Verizon/Yahoo is at fault. Not one. How cheap do you think we could buy it back for so we can put it back to normal? If we keep going at this rate then the Cards Against Humanity peeps probably COULD buy Tumblr.
We Keep: Dan Primack @danprimack 3h
 Automattic paid peanuts for Tumblr. Source familiar puts it well south of $20
 million.
 Reminder: Yahoo paid $1.1 billion for it.
 t
 Tumblr
 Verizon agrees to sell Tumblr to owner of Wordpress
 Yahoo acquired the company in 2013 for $1.1 billion.
 &axios.com
 84
 t1.1K
 1.9K
 Dan Primack @danprimack 2h
 Again, just to be clear... emphasis on the "well below" $20 million...
 t39
 448
 Dan Primack
 @danprimack
 3/Story updated: Price less than $3 million.
 6:16 PM Aug 12, 2019 TweetDeck
12000wheelsofseductivecheese:

cutie-quinn:

optometrictzedek:

thewebcomicsreview:


What’s funny is when you read articles about what happened, they never mention how Yahoo promised no ads only to put in ads anyway, pissing off and alienating users. They never mention that Verizon’s idea of “no adult content” was to implement poorly trained bots to clear the site of anything that looked like a tittie, which utterly failed at clearing the site of adult content or spam bots and instead forced millions of SFW users, especially artists, off the site. Instead they just say “Verizon’s decision to ban adult content upset and alienated many users.” Like no, that’s not even remotely what happened. I get new porn/spam bot follows daily even now, the problem is the worst its ever been, Verizon failed spectacularly at doing what they said they’d do (including protecting artists etc. from being targeted by their algorithms). The news wants the public to believe that we all threw a hissy fit and left en masse like a crowd of depraved neckbeards when tumblr banned adult content, driving the site into the ground as we left. Not a single article I’ve seen has discussed how Verizon/Yahoo is at fault. Not one.


How cheap do you think we could buy it back for so we can put it back to normal?


If we keep going at this rate then the Cards Against Humanity peeps probably COULD buy Tumblr.

12000wheelsofseductivecheese: cutie-quinn: optometrictzedek: thewebcomicsreview: What’s funny is when you read articles about what h...

We Keep: a Live Chat with Amazon.com- Google Chrome https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/c45e-9461b3f74d40&token &callMeC2Cld-e7bd2 Sound End Chat 3 Chat You are now connected to Amazon from Amazon.com Me: Tracking shows delivered but shipment not recieved Amazon: Warmest greetingsmy name is Thor Me: Greeting, Thor. Can I be Odin? Odin, Father, How art thy doing on this here fine day? Amazon: Thor, my son. Agony raises upon my life Me: Amazon: This is outrageous! Who dares defy The All Father Odin! What has occured to cause this agony? Me: I am afraid the book I ordered to defeat our enemies has been misplaced. How can we keep Valhalla intact without our sacred book. Amazon: This is blasphemy! Wherever this book has been taken to, I shall make it my duty to get it back to youl I fear it is Loki but I dare not blame him for such things. I shall have your fortune returned to you and thereafter we can begin to create a new quest in order to get the book back to you. Very well my son. Me: Allow me some time to round up my allies and complete this please Father. Amazon: Me: Do it for me Thor, but most imporantly do it for the mortals whose destiny (and grades) rely on this book. Amazon: Alas, the treasure has been returned to you. You now need to reinstate the book into your archive so that you may yet receive it soon I shall have the Valkyrie deliver it to you as fast as their wings can move Me: ok so roleplay aside i have my money back and i reorder the book haha yes I have refunded you and you need to reorder the book Amazon: Me: Great Have you placed the order Amazon: Me: let me do that done Amazon: Okay let me edit it for you That good? Me: Wow hooking me up with one day delivery? Sweet haha yeah man gotta get you your book asap! Amazon: Me: Ive heard Amazon had great customer service and this just proves it! thanks man Amazon: No problemIs there any other issue or question that I can help you with? Me: Nah that was it. Really appreciate it Anytime bro. Have a great day. Goodbye Odin Amazon: Me: Bye my son Send Amazon from Amazon.com is online Secure Connection lolzandtrollz:Best Customer Service Ever
We Keep: a Live Chat with Amazon.com- Google Chrome
 https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/c45e-9461b3f74d40&token &callMeC2Cld-e7bd2
 Sound
 End Chat 3
 Chat
 You are now connected to Amazon from Amazon.com
 Me: Tracking shows delivered but shipment not recieved
 Amazon: Warmest greetingsmy name is Thor
 Me: Greeting, Thor. Can I be Odin?
 Odin, Father, How art thy doing on this here fine day?
 Amazon:
 Thor, my son. Agony raises upon my life
 Me:
 Amazon: This is outrageous! Who dares defy The All Father Odin! What has occured to cause
 this agony?
 Me: I am afraid the book I ordered to defeat our enemies has been misplaced. How can we
 keep Valhalla intact without our sacred book.
 Amazon: This is blasphemy! Wherever this book has been taken to, I shall make it my duty
 to get it back to youl I fear it is Loki but I dare not blame him for such things.
 I shall have your fortune returned to you and thereafter we can begin to create a new quest
 in order to get the book back to you.
 Very well my son.
 Me:
 Allow me some time to round up my allies and complete this please Father.
 Amazon:
 Me: Do it for me Thor, but most imporantly do it for the mortals whose destiny (and grades)
 rely on this book.
 Amazon: Alas, the treasure has been returned to you. You now need to reinstate the book
 into your archive so that you may yet receive it soon
 I shall have the Valkyrie deliver it to you as fast as their wings can move
 Me: ok so roleplay aside i have my money back and i reorder the book
 haha yes I have refunded you and you need to reorder the book
 Amazon:
 Me: Great
 Have you placed the order
 Amazon:
 Me: let me do that
 done
 Amazon: Okay let me edit it for you
 That good?
 Me: Wow hooking me up with one day delivery? Sweet
 haha yeah man gotta get you your book asap!
 Amazon:
 Me:
 Ive heard Amazon had great customer service and this just proves it! thanks man
 Amazon: No problemIs there any other issue or question that I can help you with?
 Me:
 Nah that was it. Really appreciate it
 Anytime bro. Have a great day. Goodbye Odin
 Amazon:
 Me: Bye my son
 Send
 Amazon from Amazon.com is online
 Secure Connection
lolzandtrollz:Best Customer Service Ever

lolzandtrollz:Best Customer Service Ever

We Keep: kaze-ranna: Inuyasha Izayoi:“A mother’s love is something we keep locked deep in our hearts, always knowing it will be there to comfort us.” ~ Anonymous
We Keep: kaze-ranna:

Inuyasha  Izayoi:“A mother’s love is something we keep locked deep in our hearts,
always knowing it will be there to comfort us.” ~ Anonymous

kaze-ranna: Inuyasha Izayoi:“A mother’s love is something we keep locked deep in our hearts, always knowing it will be there to comfort...

We Keep: Mason, 23 34 miles away *I'm not looking for a hook up* I'm somewhere between Christian Grey and Jay Gatsby (so they say). Can I rub my hands through your hair and play with the booty on the first date? Or should we keep it vative and fu the bathroom CO or the foo sus. not a X she lived for nights thick with lust and romance and wine and naked kisses. mason fowler Mason, 23 34 miles away *I'm not looking for a hook up* I'm somewhere between Christian Grey and Jay Gatsby (so they say). Can I rub my hands through your hair and play with the booty on the first date? Or should we keep it vative and fu the bathroom CO or the foo sus. not a X Mason, 23 34 miles away I'm not looking for a hook up* I'm somewhere between Christian Grey and Jay Gatsby (so they say). Can I rub my hands through your hair and play with the booty on the first date? Or should we keep it conservative and fuck in the bathroom while we wait for the food? Oh Jesus, not another douche bag scrolling Tinder, or am I? Calm your tits and laugh ladies. Tinder can be fun. Truthfully, looking for a cool chick. Let's go be smooth criminals together. Sc: Mason-Fowler P.S. I'm 6'3" 219 Instagram Photos Something Bae Por Onge 1y at the feet of bed and whet shoald the complexity of s woman's desire for love then sex then lave all seems too mach at tines and I have to go avay or else ny soul will surrender piece by piece and then who puts the puzsle together? do they uae gluer tarest the oathnees or r le d have nothin X melgearsolid: cyberstripper: i’m literally screaming right now imagine being so full of yourself you take artsy photos of your own dumb quotes
We Keep: Mason, 23
 34 miles away
 *I'm not looking for a hook up*
 I'm somewhere between Christian Grey and
 Jay Gatsby (so they say). Can I rub my hands
 through your hair and play with the booty on
 the first date? Or should we keep it
 vative and fu the bathroom
 CO
 or the foo
 sus. not a
 X

 she lived for nights thick
 with lust and romance and wine
 and naked kisses.
 mason fowler
 Mason, 23
 34 miles away
 *I'm not looking for a hook up*
 I'm somewhere between Christian Grey and
 Jay Gatsby (so they say). Can I rub my hands
 through your hair and play with the booty on
 the first date? Or should we keep it
 vative and fu the bathroom
 CO
 or the foo
 sus. not a
 X

 Mason, 23
 34 miles away
 I'm not looking for a hook up*
 I'm somewhere between Christian Grey and
 Jay Gatsby (so they say). Can I rub my hands
 through your hair and play with the booty on
 the first date? Or should we keep it
 conservative and fuck in the bathroom while
 we wait for the food? Oh Jesus, not another
 douche bag scrolling Tinder, or am I? Calm
 your tits and laugh ladies. Tinder can be fun.
 Truthfully, looking for a cool chick. Let's go be
 smooth criminals together.
 Sc: Mason-Fowler
 P.S.
 I'm 6'3"
 219 Instagram Photos
 Something Bae Por Onge
 1y at the feet of
 bed and whet shoald
 the complexity of s
 woman's desire for
 love then sex then lave
 all seems too mach
 at tines and I have to
 go avay
 or else ny soul
 will surrender piece
 by piece and then
 who puts the puzsle
 together?
 do they uae gluer
 tarest the oathnees or
 r le d have nothin
 X
melgearsolid:
cyberstripper:

i’m literally screaming right now

imagine being so full of yourself you take artsy photos of your own dumb quotes

melgearsolid: cyberstripper: i’m literally screaming right now imagine being so full of yourself you take artsy photos of your own dumb...

We Keep: Lauren Sewing Cloth Menstrual Pads 3 hrs- Laurel Park, VA - Ok, so I've got to ask. What exactly are postpartum pads for..? I'm due in January and I have a feeling people aren't telling me about something that happens to your body after childbirth. Is it that you can't hold your pee very well or is it blood? Comment Like poetrypirate: eevee-morgan: brandx: deanplease: dreaminpng: un-ptit-spleen: petitedeath: kaxen: typingsdrawings: slushiebear: rosietwiggs: love-pro-choice: evashandor: skeleton-warrior: wtfzurtopic: sora2522: gallicinvasion: gallicinvasion: Another woman utterly failed by our society’s devaluation of women’s reproductive health. We can’t wait around for male doctors to decide what we need to know. This is why we need to take control and educate ourselves about our own bodies. and here’s some comments i saw under the post. why is this a pattern?? why is this a recurring theme?? why is this information not common knowledge? what the fuck are doctors doing?? This is news to me so let’s share it so people will know! Gross tmi: but i passed a pretty big clot after having my daughter. It was about the size of a baseball. It actually hurt worse because while 15 hours of labor opened my cervix, i passed the clot in 30 minutes. I knew it was a possibility because of my midwife and reading, but everyone Ive told after this (mostly other pregnant women) were shocked that this could happen. In our culture, it’s much more common to do deep research about what family cars we want to buy than we do about childbirth when we ’re pregnant. Tmi: I passed a huge clot after birth in the bathroom of my hospital room and called the nurse sobbing because I didn’t know it was normal. She treated me like an idiot, but NO ONE told me it was a possibility. And the pain associated with healing for the first couple of weeks after birth was worse than the labor imo. Again, I had no idea. They didn’t tell me a thing besides “sitz bath regularly and change your pads.” Before discharging me from the hospital. I was most definitely told about this in school. Fucking hell, 4-6 weeks of bleeding? My periods were/are bad enough, why the hell don’t we get told this? I didn’t know it could last so long, wtf? Is the bleeding inevitable after birth?  Bleeding is inevitable after birth - your uterine wall is shedding a fuck ton of lining. It can last from three to six weeks (possible longer) and it tapers off. More TMI - I passed a MASSIVE clot after my fourth birth. At this point I already knew this could happen - it’s normal. What I DIDN’T know, was that I had caused it. My post birth contractions were so bad after the birth that it felt like full transition labor. And they don’t give you anything for the pain. So I used a hot water bottle, without the nurses knowing, and it caused me to bleed even more. I lost so much blood that by the first time they sat me up to go to the bathroom, I fainted. It took three more tries until I could sit up. Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, the next morning I passed a clot the SIZE OF ANOTHER PLACENTA I KID YOU NOT, and I know what is and is not normal. So I called for the nurse and through the door told her I had passed a huge clot, and her response was - “It’s not big. I know what big is.” She hadn’t even looked. So I rolled my eyes and said, “Yeah, no. It’s big, I’m telling you.” So, sounding extremely put upon, she asked me to open the door. I did, and after a long pause she goes, “Okay, yeah, that’s a little big.” YOU DON’T SAY. The point I’m trying to get across is that this shit is so common - women not knowing this stuff is so expected, and it keeps getting reinforced. People don’t expect you to know anything, don’t teach you anything, and then make you feel like you’re totally ignorant and a burden for your lack of knowledge when THEY WON’T SHARE. Fucking learn EVERYTHING you can when it comes to childbirth, girls. It is the single most empowering thing you can do for yourself. And if you missed something, that’s okay. But the more knowledge you arm yourself with, the more in control of your situation you’ll be. A few post partum tips: DON’T use a hot water bottle - lol. ONLY pads - NO tampons. Tampons can cause severe infection, not to mention, you probably don’t want to be shoving anything up there any time soon. If you’ve had stitches, sitz baths DO help relieve the pain. Another great pain reliever? Dampen some pads and freeze them. Let one thaw slightly and use it on top of another pad. This will help with the pain as well as reduce swelling. Change the pad out as soon as it’s thawed completely. This REALLY helps on the first couple days after giving birth. If you pass a clot, don’t sweat it. Even the one I passed, which was fucking massive, just required that we keep an eye out to make sure it didn’t happen again. If it does, talk to your doctor. Take a pain killer half an hour before nursing. Because YES - your uterus is contracting after you give birth, to get back to its original size, and nursing causes much stronger contractions. Taking nursing-safe painkillers won’t prevent the pain, but it will reduce it.  Buy disposable underwear for the first few days after birth. They will get VERY dirty. Or use your ratty old pairs that you’re ready to get rid of. Double up on pads - line them all the way up your ass-crack. I am so serious. And wear dark pants. Pee in the shower. You do NOT want to wipe down there right after birth because ow. Peeing in the shower lets you just rinse afterwards. Especially if you’ve had stitches, peeing in the shower, with the shower-head rinsing AS you go, keeps stinging to a minimum. And fuck everyone else - keep on peeing in the shower until you feel ready to move back to toilet paper. Middle of the night and need to pee? Get your pants off - get in the shower and just go. This is just a few things, but PLEASE feel free to send me an ask if you have any questions about ANYTHING childbirth/pregnancy/nursing related. I have four incredible kids. I’ve done it all - c-section, vacuume birth, episiotimy, stitches, with an epidural, without an epidural. I’m here. ….I know I keep reblogging this but people keep adding super important information. I feel like no one tells women this stuff because if a woman was even a little on the fence about having a baby before this would kinda make them run for the damn hills. …..you are correct, typing. 300% EXTRA SURE I’M NOT HAVING BABIES.  peri bottles, witch hazel or anti-pain anticeptic spray are your friends. Also passing large clots after birth is a WARNING SIGN. Bigger than a half dollar is a sign that you have not passed your entire placenta (this is most common in hospital vaginal births where the mother is not allowed to naturally birth the placenta and instead has it ripped out by the doctor) if there is any placenta left in your uterus you can get extremely ill. This happened to both myself and my mother in law WOW I didn’t know any of this and I’m terrified of what more I’m unaware of about my own body :( Honestly when will we fucking abolish this taboo about the female body… I had pretty great sex ed in school (lots of contraceptive information, and totally acknowledged that teenagers might have sex) and all of this is news to me. And, as a 28-year-old person with a uterus, I’m extremely appalled I’m just learning this. Long, but very important information, even for those who don’t plan to have children, because you will almost certainly know someone who will, and you might be able to to help them. Or at least increase your level of empathy for them. …HOLY HELL. REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE, SERIOUSLY. people loooove to make out like pregnancy and childbirth are this beautiful thing that a woman’s body is made to do, and leave out all this incredibly important and scary info. the healthcare system fails women in so so many ways, especially around sexual and reproductive health, and it needs to stop. What the fuck first of allSecond Idk if having a kid is worth this now.
We Keep: Lauren
 Sewing Cloth Menstrual Pads
 3 hrs- Laurel Park, VA -
 Ok, so I've got to ask. What exactly are postpartum pads for..? I'm due
 in January and I have a feeling people aren't telling me about something
 that happens to your body after childbirth. Is it that you can't hold your pee
 very well or is it blood?
 Comment
 Like
poetrypirate:

eevee-morgan:

brandx:

deanplease:

dreaminpng:

un-ptit-spleen:

petitedeath:

kaxen:

typingsdrawings:

slushiebear:

rosietwiggs:

love-pro-choice:

evashandor:

skeleton-warrior:

wtfzurtopic:

sora2522:

gallicinvasion:

gallicinvasion:

Another woman utterly failed by our society’s devaluation of women’s reproductive health. 

 We can’t wait around for male doctors to decide what we need to know.

This is why we need to take control and educate ourselves about our own bodies.


and here’s some comments i saw under the post. why is this a pattern?? why is this a recurring theme?? why is this information not common knowledge? what the fuck are doctors doing??

This is news to me so let’s share it so people will know!

Gross tmi: but i passed a pretty big clot after having my daughter. It was about the size of a baseball. It actually hurt worse because while 15 hours of labor opened my cervix, i passed the clot in 30 minutes. I knew it was a possibility because of my midwife and reading, but everyone Ive told after this (mostly other pregnant women) were shocked that this could happen.
In our culture, it’s much more common to do deep research about what family cars we want to buy than we do about childbirth when we ’re pregnant.

Tmi: I passed a huge clot after birth in the bathroom of my hospital room and called the nurse sobbing because I didn’t know it was normal. She treated me like an idiot, but NO ONE told me it was a possibility. And the pain associated with healing for the first couple of weeks after birth was worse than the labor imo. Again, I had no idea. They didn’t tell me a thing besides “sitz bath regularly and change your pads.” Before discharging me from the hospital.

I was most definitely told about this in school. Fucking hell, 4-6 weeks of bleeding? My periods were/are bad enough, why the hell don’t we get told this?

I didn’t know it could last so long, wtf? Is the bleeding inevitable after birth? 

Bleeding is inevitable after birth - your uterine wall is shedding a fuck ton of lining. It can last from three to six weeks (possible longer) and it tapers off.
More TMI - I passed a MASSIVE clot after my fourth birth. At this point I already knew this could happen - it’s normal. What I DIDN’T know, was that I had caused it.
My post birth contractions were so bad after the birth that it felt like full transition labor. And they don’t give you anything for the pain. So I used a hot water bottle, without the nurses knowing, and it caused me to bleed even more. I lost so much blood that by the first time they sat me up to go to the bathroom, I fainted. It took three more tries until I could sit up.
Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, the next morning I passed a clot the SIZE OF ANOTHER PLACENTA I KID YOU NOT, and I know what is and is not normal. So I called for the nurse and through the door told her I had passed a huge clot, and her response was - “It’s not big. I know what big is.” She hadn’t even looked. So I rolled my eyes and said, “Yeah, no. It’s big, I’m telling you.”
So, sounding extremely put upon, she asked me to open the door. I did, and after a long pause she goes, “Okay, yeah, that’s a little big.”
YOU DON’T SAY.
The point I’m trying to get across is that this shit is so common - women not knowing this stuff is so expected, and it keeps getting reinforced. People don’t expect you to know anything, don’t teach you anything, and then make you feel like you’re totally ignorant and a burden for your lack of knowledge when THEY WON’T SHARE.
Fucking learn EVERYTHING you can when it comes to childbirth, girls. It is the single most empowering thing you can do for yourself. And if you missed something, that’s okay. But the more knowledge you arm yourself with, the more in control of your situation you’ll be.
A few post partum tips:
DON’T use a hot water bottle - lol.
ONLY pads - NO tampons. Tampons can cause severe infection, not to mention, you probably don’t want to be shoving anything up there any time soon.
If you’ve had stitches, sitz baths DO help relieve the pain. Another great pain reliever? Dampen some pads and freeze them. Let one thaw slightly and use it on top of another pad. This will help with the pain as well as reduce swelling. Change the pad out as soon as it’s thawed completely. This REALLY helps on the first couple days after giving birth.
If you pass a clot, don’t sweat it. Even the one I passed, which was fucking massive, just required that we keep an eye out to make sure it didn’t happen again. If it does, talk to your doctor.
Take a pain killer half an hour before nursing. Because YES - your uterus is contracting after you give birth, to get back to its original size, and nursing causes much stronger contractions. Taking nursing-safe painkillers won’t prevent the pain, but it will reduce it. 
Buy disposable underwear for the first few days after birth. They will get VERY dirty. Or use your ratty old pairs that you’re ready to get rid of. Double up on pads - line them all the way up your ass-crack. I am so serious. And wear dark pants.
Pee in the shower. You do NOT want to wipe down there right after birth because ow. Peeing in the shower lets you just rinse afterwards. Especially if you’ve had stitches, peeing in the shower, with the shower-head rinsing AS you go, keeps stinging to a minimum. And fuck everyone else - keep on peeing in the shower until you feel ready to move back to toilet paper. Middle of the night and need to pee? Get your pants off - get in the shower and just go.
This is just a few things, but PLEASE feel free to send me an ask if you have any questions about ANYTHING childbirth/pregnancy/nursing related. I have four incredible kids. I’ve done it all - c-section, vacuume birth, episiotimy, stitches, with an epidural, without an epidural. I’m here.

….I know I keep reblogging this but people keep adding super important information.

I feel like no one tells women this stuff because if a woman was even a little on the fence about having a baby before this would kinda make them run for the damn hills.

…..you are correct, typing.
300% EXTRA SURE I’M NOT HAVING BABIES. 

peri bottles, witch hazel or anti-pain anticeptic spray are your friends. Also passing large clots after birth is a WARNING SIGN. Bigger than a half dollar is a sign that you have not passed your entire placenta (this is most common in hospital vaginal births where the mother is not allowed to naturally birth the placenta and instead has it ripped out by the doctor) if there is any placenta left in your uterus you can get extremely ill. This happened to both myself and my mother in law

WOW I didn’t know any of this and I’m terrified of what more I’m unaware of about my own body :( Honestly when will we fucking abolish this taboo about the female body…

I had pretty great sex ed in school (lots of contraceptive information, and totally acknowledged that teenagers might have sex) and all of this is news to me.
And, as a 28-year-old person with a uterus, I’m extremely appalled I’m just learning this.

Long, but very important information, even for those who don’t plan to have children, because you will almost certainly know someone who will, and you might be able to to help them. Or at least increase your level of empathy for them.

…HOLY HELL. REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE, SERIOUSLY.

people loooove to make out like pregnancy and childbirth are this beautiful thing that a woman’s body is made to do, and leave out all this incredibly important and scary info.
the healthcare system fails women in so so many ways, especially around sexual and reproductive health, and it needs to stop.


What the fuck first of allSecond Idk if having a kid is worth this now.

poetrypirate: eevee-morgan: brandx: deanplease: dreaminpng: un-ptit-spleen: petitedeath: kaxen: typingsdrawings: slushiebear: r...

We Keep: Sum Of + Us Fighting for people over profits brld SeaWorld's worst nightmare: Lawmaker proposes ban on orcas in captivity Goal: 2,000,000 1,511,990 jolteonerrex502: voicesofthedistantsea: genghiskahnr: missylovescastiel: voicesofthedistantsea: shoresoftheshadowlands: voicesofthedistantsea: voicesofthedistantsea: SeaWorld’s worst nightmare: Lawmaker proposes ban on orcas in captivity WE ARE SO CLOSE GUYS PLEASE SIGN THIS I..never expected this many notes??? omygod you guys! We’re making good progress, lets keep up the good work and make sure everyone signs it! Keep it moving and in circulation, the more people that see it the more people who might sign! Every little bit counts! we can do this! We’ve gotten 9344+ Signatures since this was posted! Probably even more, since it shows the days tally about once a day- If we keep at it, we might just be able to make a difference! Please sign this! These poor babies need our help! Or we could like, not, because seeing those orcas is fucking amazing, have you people ever been to seaworld??? Your ignorance is clear on this subject. Have you ever seen the poor conditions they live in? Do you have any idea the things they suffer for your entertainment? I’m going to hazard a guess that, no, you have no idea. All the experts in the marine biology field agree that the orca are not thriving in captivity. Their mortality rate is sickening- they live longer in the wild. Have you seen their teeth, among other things? Or rather, seen their lack of teeth? There are young baby orca at SeaWorld who have almost no teeth left because they are so stressed and bored out of their minds that they chew on metal and the sides of the tank. They break their teeth. They are not immune to pain, and if you’ve ever chipped one tooth in your life, you know tooth pain is one of the most awful things you can feel.  And SeaWorld has to drill out the centers of their teeth when they break and flush them out every day. Wild orca teeth don’t look like this! You might find a really old one that has a couple, over the course of its entire life depending on its ecotype and its specialized diet. But you wont find anything nearly so terrible as what happens to these poor creatures at SeaWorld. You have no idea. You are protecting a company that claims better, world class vet care- But why do these animals need to be pumped full of medication constantly, things like vallium? Why is it SeaWorld uses a black zinc oxide to cover large rakes and sunburns, which basically paints them? Why does precious Sea World pay money to places like Mundo Marino, who keeps its orca in the most deplorable conditions you can imagine? They Lie bold faced to the public, to people like you who think, ‘well, SeaWorld must know what its doing, right? They’d never lie to us!’ And that is what the uneducated public often thinks, however, the more of us that become edicated the less and less SeaWorld’s lies work. For instance… They fight with one another, something that does not happen in the wild. They rip each other with their teeth, where in the wild, any disagreement between pod members would dissipate due to having enough space to keep out of each others way. The Above orca’s name is Nakai. The injury took place during a show, where its seriousness was apparently missed because the orca actually had to finish the show before it was ‘discovered’ that he was hurt. Just recently an Orca Expert, Ingrid Visser, pointed out that the injury had orca tooth marks on it, and it is clear that this dinner plate sized wound was caused by Nakai being bitten. Injuries at SeaWorld happen far more frequently than you might think they do. Altercations between orca have even led to death. The above is Kandu, who fought with Corky Kandu V collided with Corky II leading to her death Kandu V was a female Icelandic orca who was caught in 1977 and kept at SeaWorld San Diego, California. She died on 21st August 1989 from a collision after attempting to rake newcomer Corky II. Kandu was 14 years old at the time and was mother to 11 month Orkid. Kandu had always been the dominant female at SeaWorld San Diego. The collision happened during a live show and several thousands of spectators watched as Kandu bled to death. The fatal accident occurred in the holding pool behind the main performance pool when Kandu attempted to rake Corky. Raking is a way orcas show dominance by forcefully scratching at another with their teeth, this happens a lot within captivity and many of the orcas have visible rake marks. Very few rake marks have been witnessed on wild orcas, this may be because groups tend not to mix whereas in captivity many different types of groups are made to live and perform together. Dr. James F. McBain, a staff veterinarian at SeaWorld said of the accident, at the time, that Kandu engaged in a “normal, socially induced act of aggression to assert her dominance over Corky”. Kandu missed Corky as she attempted to rake her and ended up ramming into a wall, rupturing an artery in her jaw and fracturing her upper jaw, she began spouting blood from her blowhole. The people in the stadium where quickly asked to leave. After a 45 minute hemorrhage Kandu V died, the whole time she swam by her 11 month old calf, Orkid. Orkid was later placed with Corky. Again, SeaWorld is caught in a lie. This was not normal behavior at all. This is Ikaika Picture by beeskneesss Notice something off? That’s right, that’s not normal. Captivity does nothing good for these animals, who have been proven to be sentient, self aware creatures that understand things the way we do. Tekoa, one of the orcas separated from its mother way too early and shipped off to Loro Parque on ‘breeding loan’ (Read: experimenting with setting up shop in other countries) - But nonetheless, they claim breeding loan. Why, oh why, did SeaWorld send ALL RELATED ANIMALS on breeding loan, where they have made at least one inbred orca? Why are SeaWorlds orcas, in this foreign facility, allowed to be torn to shreds? When you support SeaWorld, you support every facility that keeps cetaceans. (Whales and dolphins/porpoises etc) Including Mundo Marino…. This is Kshamenk. You may be wondering why I would mention an orca that neither belongs to SeaWorld nor lives in its care. I mention Kshamenk because SeaWorld pays Mundo Marino to keep this beautiful orca in one of the most, if not the most deplorable conditions. Why? Because SeaWorld pays for Kshamenk‘s sperm. When you support SeaWorld your money goes to places like this! It spawns other countries to say, ‘wow! keeping these animals makes TONS OF MONEY!’ They don’t give a rats ass about these animals and they never have. This is the pool he lives in. The gates are closed, he does not have access to the show pool- Outside of shows. He often floats upside down, defeated, bored out of his mind. You want to know how he came to be here? His family was forced - deliberately- to strand/beach themselves. Mundo marino waited a little while then came in and pretended to rescue them. They let one go, and took the rest. All died soon after, leaving Kshamenk alone. If you pay to go to SeaWorld you paid for this. You paid for thousands of cetaceans (dolphins and whales) to be slaughtered- literally- in The Cove, in Taiji Japan. Even Sea World has bought dolphins (and I believe also pilot whales?) from the dolphin drives. Recently they tried to import a second generation dolphin born from parents taken from the drive and still support it! They also tried to get beluga whale sperm from DEAD beluga, to pay whaling groups and encourage them to kill more beluga. (They did not get that permit.) But SeaWorld announced that huge realistic aquarium thing, right? LIES. Each year they push back the date of construction, because they have not yet even filed for the permits to build this new blue horizons or w/e its called. They said it as a publicity stunt, thinking it would draw in more people. It didn’t work for those of us investigating what SeaWorld is doing. Please PLEASE use this opportunity to educate yourselves on this matter! If you believe what SeaWorld is saying, you are falling into their trap. Their stock is down, their attendance is dropping like flies. We have succeeded in ending further obtaining of cetaceans in canada, and now its time to spread it to USA. We don’t want to release these animals into the wild- Their health, currently, along with broken teeth and psychosis means they can never be released. We are fighting to get them retired to open ocean sea pens, sanctuaries in the ocean where they no longer have to perform circus tricks for your entertainment. SeaWorld tries to say they do it for education, but their education is almost entirely tricks, routines and behaviors. Any information they give is largely false, or even outright lies. You can begin looking over information about these topics here I suggest also watching Blackfish and The Cove, slave to Entertainment, and A Whale of a Business. These programs do not hold all the answers, but they are places to start. The anti captivity movement has been around since the very first capture. You can help our cause by signing this petition, and by spreading the word. My fellow anticaps please add more to this, I’m sure I’ve missed a lot of topics to cover but these were the most immediate things I could think of off the top of my head. b3n3aththesurfac3 has a lot of videos of things going on at SeaWorld for those interested, including unnatural beaching and stranding behavior, and also discovered the notorious Dolphin Pox disease in dolphins in Orlando. genghiskahnr Thank you so much for this because I keep seeing posts like “SeaWorld is bad!” but no one ever gives specifics or sources.
We Keep: Sum
 Of
 + Us
 Fighting for people over profits
 brld
 SeaWorld's worst nightmare: Lawmaker proposes ban on
 orcas in captivity
 Goal: 2,000,000
 1,511,990
jolteonerrex502:

voicesofthedistantsea:

genghiskahnr:

missylovescastiel:

voicesofthedistantsea:

shoresoftheshadowlands:

voicesofthedistantsea:

voicesofthedistantsea:

SeaWorld’s worst nightmare: Lawmaker proposes ban on orcas in captivity

WE ARE SO CLOSE GUYS PLEASE SIGN THIS

I..never expected this many notes??? omygod you guys!
We’re
 making good progress, lets keep up the good work and make sure everyone
 signs it! Keep it moving and in circulation, the more people that see 
it the more people who might sign!

Every little bit counts! we can do this!

We’ve
 gotten 9344+ Signatures since this was posted! Probably even more, 
since it shows the days tally about once a day- If we keep at it, we 
might just be able to make a difference!

Please sign this! These poor babies need our help!

Or we could like, not, because seeing those orcas is fucking amazing, have you people ever been to seaworld???

Your ignorance is clear on this subject. Have you ever seen the poor conditions they live in? Do you have any idea the things they suffer for your entertainment? I’m going to hazard a guess that, no, you have no idea.
All the experts in the marine biology field agree that the orca are not thriving in captivity. Their mortality rate is sickening- they live longer in the wild. Have you seen their teeth, among other things? Or rather, seen their lack of teeth? There are young baby orca at SeaWorld who have almost no teeth left because they are so stressed and bored out of their minds that they chew on metal and the sides of the tank. They break their teeth. They are not immune to pain, and if you’ve ever chipped one tooth in your life, you know tooth pain is one of the most awful things you can feel. 
And SeaWorld has to drill out the centers of their teeth when they break and flush them out every day. Wild orca teeth don’t look like this! You might find a really old one that has a couple, over the course of its entire life depending on its ecotype and its specialized diet. But you wont find anything nearly so terrible as what happens to these poor creatures at SeaWorld.
You have no idea. You are protecting a company that claims better, world class vet care- But why do these animals need to be pumped full of medication constantly, things like vallium? Why is it SeaWorld uses a black zinc oxide to cover large rakes and sunburns, which basically paints them? Why does precious Sea World pay money to places like Mundo Marino, who keeps its orca in the most deplorable conditions you can imagine?

They Lie bold faced to the public, to people like you who think, ‘well, SeaWorld must know what its doing, right? They’d never lie to us!’ And that is what the uneducated public often thinks, however, the more of us that become edicated the less and less SeaWorld’s lies work. For instance…

They fight with one another, something that does not happen in the wild. They rip each other with their teeth, where in the wild, any disagreement between pod members would dissipate due to having enough space to keep out of each others way. 
The Above orca’s name is Nakai. The injury took place during a show, where its seriousness was apparently missed because the orca actually had to finish the show before it was ‘discovered’ that he was hurt. Just recently an Orca Expert, Ingrid Visser, pointed out that the injury had orca tooth marks on it, and it is clear that this dinner plate sized wound was caused by Nakai being bitten. Injuries at SeaWorld happen far more frequently than you might think they do. Altercations between orca have even led to death.
The above is Kandu, who fought with Corky
Kandu V collided with Corky II leading to her death

Kandu V was a female Icelandic orca who was caught in 1977 and kept at 
SeaWorld San Diego, California. She died on 21st August 1989 from a 
collision after attempting to rake newcomer Corky II. Kandu was 14 years
 old at the time and was mother to 11 month Orkid. Kandu had always been
 the dominant female at SeaWorld San Diego.
The collision happened during a live show and several thousands of 
spectators watched as Kandu bled to death. The fatal accident occurred 
in the holding pool behind the main performance pool when Kandu 
attempted to rake Corky. Raking is a way orcas show dominance by 
forcefully scratching at another with their teeth, this happens a lot 
within captivity and many of the orcas have visible rake marks. Very few
 rake marks have been witnessed on wild orcas, this may be because 
groups tend not to mix whereas in captivity many different types of 
groups are made to live and perform together. Dr. James F. McBain, a 
staff veterinarian at SeaWorld said of the accident, at the time, that 
Kandu engaged in a “normal, socially induced act of aggression to assert her dominance over Corky”.
 Kandu missed Corky as she attempted to rake her and ended up ramming 
into a wall, rupturing an artery in her jaw and fracturing her upper 
jaw, she began spouting blood from her blowhole. The people in the 
stadium where quickly asked to leave. After a 45 minute hemorrhage Kandu
 V died, the whole time she swam by her 11 month old calf, Orkid. Orkid was later placed with Corky.
Again, SeaWorld is caught in a lie. This was not normal behavior at all.
This is Ikaika
Picture by beeskneesss
Notice something off? That’s right, that’s not normal. Captivity does nothing good for these animals, who have been proven to be sentient, self aware creatures that understand things the way we do.
Tekoa, one of the orcas separated from its mother way too early and shipped off to Loro Parque on ‘breeding loan’ (Read: experimenting with setting up shop in other countries) - But nonetheless, they claim breeding loan. Why, oh why, did SeaWorld send ALL RELATED ANIMALS on breeding loan, where they have made at least one inbred orca?
Why are SeaWorlds orcas, in this foreign facility, allowed to be torn to shreds?
When you support SeaWorld, you support every facility that keeps cetaceans. 
(Whales and dolphins/porpoises etc)
Including Mundo Marino….
This is Kshamenk. You may be wondering why I would mention an orca that neither belongs to SeaWorld nor lives in its care. I mention Kshamenk because SeaWorld pays Mundo Marino to keep this beautiful orca in one of the most, if not the most deplorable conditions. Why? Because SeaWorld pays for Kshamenk‘s sperm. When you support SeaWorld your money goes to places like this! It spawns other countries to say, ‘wow! keeping these animals makes TONS OF MONEY!’ They don’t give a rats ass about these animals and they never have.
This is the pool he lives in. 
The gates are closed, he does not have access to the show pool- Outside of shows.
He often floats upside down, defeated, bored out of his mind. You want to know how he came to be here? His family was forced - deliberately- to strand/beach themselves. Mundo marino waited a little while then came in and pretended to rescue them. They let one go, and took the rest. All died soon after, leaving Kshamenk alone.
If you pay to go to SeaWorld you paid for this. You paid for thousands of cetaceans (dolphins and whales) to be slaughtered- literally- in The Cove, in Taiji Japan. Even Sea World has bought dolphins (and I believe also pilot whales?) from the dolphin drives. Recently they tried to import a second generation dolphin born from parents taken from the drive and still support it! They also tried to get beluga whale sperm from DEAD beluga, to pay whaling groups and encourage them to kill more beluga. (They did not get that permit.)
But SeaWorld announced that huge realistic aquarium thing, right? LIES. Each year they push back the date of construction, because they have not yet even filed for the permits to build this new blue horizons or w/e its called. They said it as a publicity stunt, thinking it would draw in more people. It didn’t work for those of us investigating what SeaWorld is doing.
Please PLEASE use this opportunity to educate yourselves on this matter! If you believe what SeaWorld is saying, you are falling into their trap. Their stock is down, their attendance is dropping like flies. We have succeeded in ending further obtaining of cetaceans in canada, and now its time to spread it to USA.
We don’t want to release these animals into the wild- Their health, currently, along with broken teeth and psychosis means they can never be released. We are fighting to get them retired to open ocean sea pens, sanctuaries in the ocean where they no longer have to perform circus tricks for your entertainment. SeaWorld tries to say they do it for education, but their education is almost entirely tricks, routines and behaviors. Any information they give is largely false, or even outright lies.
You can begin looking over information about these topics here

I suggest also watching Blackfish and The Cove, slave to Entertainment, and A Whale of a Business. 
These programs do not hold all the answers, but they are places to start. The anti captivity movement has been around since the very first capture. You can help our cause by signing this petition, and by spreading the word. My fellow anticaps please add more to this, I’m sure I’ve missed a lot of topics to cover but these were the most immediate things I could think of off the top of my head.
b3n3aththesurfac3 has a lot of videos of things going on at SeaWorld for those interested, including unnatural beaching and stranding behavior, and also discovered the notorious Dolphin Pox disease in dolphins in Orlando.
genghiskahnr

Thank you so much for this because I keep seeing posts like “SeaWorld is bad!” but no one ever gives specifics or sources.

jolteonerrex502: voicesofthedistantsea: genghiskahnr: missylovescastiel: voicesofthedistantsea: shoresoftheshadowlands: voicesofthe...

We Keep: Its funny how science fiction universes so offen treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest I want to see a sci universe where we're actually considered one of the more hideous and territying species. How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn't be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kil the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare "animar races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth? Like that old story "they're made of meat," only we're scarier. HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT humans are a proud warior race with a pantheon of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc. REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD WARNING. HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES. HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS WARNING HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT INHALE OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GoD OH GOD More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance. shock resistance, and abilty to recover trom injury is absurdiy high compared to almost any other animal. We offen use the phrase "healthy as a horse" to connote heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as fragile as spun glass There's mounting evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until it died of exhaustion: It's called pursuit predation. Basically, we're the Terminator. (The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us? Dogs. That's why we use them for hunting. And even then, It's only "sort of) Now extrapolate that to a galary in which most sapient Ite did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursut predators • Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we don't need to overpower or outrun you We just need to outiast you - and by any other species' standards, we just plain don't get tired • Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from virtually any injury that's not immediately fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn't necessarily a career-ending injury for a human. • We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity. recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren't pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue. among our other survival-oriented trats - but they're highly functional. • Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science. We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most rudimentary anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves - and survive. Thanks to our extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder. We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic reasons uhn in essence, we'd be Space Orcs I do hope you realize I'm going to be picking up this stufft and running with it right? Our jaws have too many TEETH in them so we developed a way to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, offen using ittle analouge traps. And by god, we will eat anything • We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food • We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the pursuit of darkening our skin • We risk heanng loss for the opportunity to see our favonte musicians live • We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area and hit each other until time runs outione of them pass out • We wilingly jump out of planes with only a fimsy piece of cioth to prevent us from splattering against the ground. • Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings in the exact same places. • We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging rights • We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them • On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the Planet Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain't got shit on us can we talk about how pursuit predation is fucking territying It's one thing to face down a cheetah, which will slam into you at 60 mph and break your neck It's another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have it just kind of show up to have it be intelligent enough to figure out where you are by the fur and feather you've left behind, your footprints and piss and shit, and then you think you've lost it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS WAITING WHEN YOU WAKE UP and you spit! againt but it keeps following you. atways in the corner of your eye. until you just die we are scary motherfuckers ok What if we were the monsters?advice-animal.tumblr.com
We Keep: Its funny how science fiction universes so
 offen treat humans as a boring, default
 everyman species or even the weakest and
 dumbest
 I want to see a sci
 universe where we're
 actually considered one of the more hideous
 and territying species.
 How do we know our saliva and skin oils
 wouldn't be ultra-corrosive to most other
 sapient races? What if we actually have the
 strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kil
 the inhabitants of other worlds just by
 screaming at them? What if most sentient life in
 the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and
 lives in fear of us rare "animar races who can
 move so quickly and chew shit up with our
 teeth?
 Like that old story "they're made of meat," only
 we're scarier.
 HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN
 YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN
 AIRPLANE
 A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN
 AFTER YOU SHOOT IT
 humans are a proud warior race with a pantheon
 of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.
 REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY
 INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE
 HEAD
 WARNING. HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT
 NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE
 ATMOSPHERE
 WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A
 RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY
 INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY
 THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY
 OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW
 MUSCLES.
 HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS
 EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS
 WARNING HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE
 IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA
 LABELED J. CHAN
 HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM
 ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO
 NOT INHALE
 OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR
 HANDLES OH GoD OH GOD
 More seriously, humans do have a number of
 advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance.
 shock resistance, and abilty to recover trom injury is
 absurdiy high compared to almost any other animal. We
 offen use the phrase "healthy as a horse" to connote
 heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as
 fragile as spun glass There's mounting evidence that
 our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by
 following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until
 it died of exhaustion: It's called pursuit predation.
 Basically, we're the Terminator.
 (The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us?
 Dogs. That's why we use them for hunting. And even
 then, It's only "sort of)
 Now extrapolate that to a galary in which most sapient
 Ite did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursut
 predators
 • Our strength and speed is nothing to write home
 about, but we don't need to overpower or outrun
 you We just need to outiast you - and by any
 other species' standards, we just plain don't get
 tired
 • Where a simple broken leg will cause most
 species to go into shock and die, we can recover
 from virtually any injury that's not immediately
 fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn't
 necessarily a career-ending injury for a human.
 • We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity.
 recovering in weeks from wounds that would take
 others months or years to heal. The results aren't
 pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue.
 among our other survival-oriented trats - but
 they're highly functional.
 • Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science.
 We developed surgery centuries before
 developing even the most rudimentary
 anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans
 have been known to perform surgery on
 themselves - and survive. Thanks to our
 extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical
 procedures what most other species would regard
 as inventive forms of murder. We even perform
 radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic
 reasons
 uhn
 in essence, we'd be Space Orcs
 I do hope you realize I'm going to be picking up this stufft and
 running with it right?
 Our jaws have too many TEETH in them so we developed a way
 to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN
 OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back
 into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to
 keep them in place
 We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and
 insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, offen using
 ittle analouge traps.
 And by god, we will eat anything
 • We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food
 • We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the
 pursuit of darkening our skin
 • We risk heanng loss for the opportunity to see our favonte
 musicians live
 • We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area
 and hit each other until time runs outione of them pass out
 • We wilingly jump out of planes with only a fimsy piece of cioth
 to prevent us from splattering against the ground.
 • Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings
 in the exact same places.
 • We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging
 rights
 • We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and
 completely domesticated them
 • On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to
 advance further and faster than any other species on the
 Planet
 Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain't got shit on us
 can we talk about how pursuit predation is fucking territying
 It's one thing to face down a cheetah, which will slam into you at 60 mph
 and break your neck
 It's another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have
 it just kind of
 show up
 to have it be intelligent enough to figure out where you are by the fur and
 feather you've left behind, your footprints and piss and shit, and then you
 think you've lost it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS
 WAITING
 WHEN YOU WAKE UP
 and you spit! againt but it keeps following you. atways in the corner of
 your eye. until you just
 die
 we are scary motherfuckers ok
What if we were the monsters?advice-animal.tumblr.com

What if we were the monsters?advice-animal.tumblr.com

We Keep: Its funny how science fiction universes so offen treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest I want to see a sci universe where we're actually considered one of the more hideous and territying species. How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn't be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kil the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare "animar races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth? Like that old story "they're made of meat," only we're scarier. HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT humans are a proud warior race with a pantheon of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc. REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD WARNING. HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES. HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS WARNING HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT INHALE OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GoD OH GOD More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance. shock resistance, and abilty to recover trom injury is absurdiy high compared to almost any other animal. We offen use the phrase "healthy as a horse" to connote heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as fragile as spun glass There's mounting evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until it died of exhaustion: It's called pursuit predation. Basically, we're the Terminator. (The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us? Dogs. That's why we use them for hunting. And even then, It's only "sort of) Now extrapolate that to a galary in which most sapient Ite did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursut predators • Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we don't need to overpower or outrun you We just need to outiast you - and by any other species' standards, we just plain don't get tired • Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from virtually any injury that's not immediately fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn't necessarily a career-ending injury for a human. • We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity. recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren't pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue. among our other survival-oriented trats - but they're highly functional. • Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science. We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most rudimentary anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves - and survive. Thanks to our extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder. We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic reasons uhn in essence, we'd be Space Orcs I do hope you realize I'm going to be picking up this stufft and running with it right? Our jaws have too many TEETH in them so we developed a way to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, offen using ittle analouge traps. And by god, we will eat anything • We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food • We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the pursuit of darkening our skin • We risk heanng loss for the opportunity to see our favonte musicians live • We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area and hit each other until time runs outione of them pass out • We wilingly jump out of planes with only a fimsy piece of cioth to prevent us from splattering against the ground. • Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings in the exact same places. • We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging rights • We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them • On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the Planet Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain't got shit on us can we talk about how pursuit predation is fucking territying It's one thing to face down a cheetah, which will slam into you at 60 mph and break your neck It's another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have it just kind of show up to have it be intelligent enough to figure out where you are by the fur and feather you've left behind, your footprints and piss and shit, and then you think you've lost it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS WAITING WHEN YOU WAKE UP and you spit! againt but it keeps following you. atways in the corner of your eye. until you just die we are scary motherfuckers ok What if we were the monsters?omg-humor.tumblr.com
We Keep: Its funny how science fiction universes so
 offen treat humans as a boring, default
 everyman species or even the weakest and
 dumbest
 I want to see a sci
 universe where we're
 actually considered one of the more hideous
 and territying species.
 How do we know our saliva and skin oils
 wouldn't be ultra-corrosive to most other
 sapient races? What if we actually have the
 strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kil
 the inhabitants of other worlds just by
 screaming at them? What if most sentient life in
 the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and
 lives in fear of us rare "animar races who can
 move so quickly and chew shit up with our
 teeth?
 Like that old story "they're made of meat," only
 we're scarier.
 HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN
 YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN
 AIRPLANE
 A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN
 AFTER YOU SHOOT IT
 humans are a proud warior race with a pantheon
 of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.
 REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY
 INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE
 HEAD
 WARNING. HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT
 NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE
 ATMOSPHERE
 WARNING HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A
 RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY
 INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY
 THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY
 OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW
 MUSCLES.
 HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS
 EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS
 WARNING HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE
 IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA
 LABELED J. CHAN
 HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM
 ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO
 NOT INHALE
 OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR
 HANDLES OH GoD OH GOD
 More seriously, humans do have a number of
 advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance.
 shock resistance, and abilty to recover trom injury is
 absurdiy high compared to almost any other animal. We
 offen use the phrase "healthy as a horse" to connote
 heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as
 fragile as spun glass There's mounting evidence that
 our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by
 following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until
 it died of exhaustion: It's called pursuit predation.
 Basically, we're the Terminator.
 (The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us?
 Dogs. That's why we use them for hunting. And even
 then, It's only "sort of)
 Now extrapolate that to a galary in which most sapient
 Ite did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursut
 predators
 • Our strength and speed is nothing to write home
 about, but we don't need to overpower or outrun
 you We just need to outiast you - and by any
 other species' standards, we just plain don't get
 tired
 • Where a simple broken leg will cause most
 species to go into shock and die, we can recover
 from virtually any injury that's not immediately
 fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn't
 necessarily a career-ending injury for a human.
 • We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity.
 recovering in weeks from wounds that would take
 others months or years to heal. The results aren't
 pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue.
 among our other survival-oriented trats - but
 they're highly functional.
 • Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science.
 We developed surgery centuries before
 developing even the most rudimentary
 anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans
 have been known to perform surgery on
 themselves - and survive. Thanks to our
 extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical
 procedures what most other species would regard
 as inventive forms of murder. We even perform
 radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic
 reasons
 uhn
 in essence, we'd be Space Orcs
 I do hope you realize I'm going to be picking up this stufft and
 running with it right?
 Our jaws have too many TEETH in them so we developed a way
 to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN
 OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back
 into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to
 keep them in place
 We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and
 insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, offen using
 ittle analouge traps.
 And by god, we will eat anything
 • We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food
 • We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the
 pursuit of darkening our skin
 • We risk heanng loss for the opportunity to see our favonte
 musicians live
 • We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area
 and hit each other until time runs outione of them pass out
 • We wilingly jump out of planes with only a fimsy piece of cioth
 to prevent us from splattering against the ground.
 • Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings
 in the exact same places.
 • We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging
 rights
 • We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and
 completely domesticated them
 • On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to
 advance further and faster than any other species on the
 Planet
 Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain't got shit on us
 can we talk about how pursuit predation is fucking territying
 It's one thing to face down a cheetah, which will slam into you at 60 mph
 and break your neck
 It's another thing to run very quickly to get away from a thing, only to have
 it just kind of
 show up
 to have it be intelligent enough to figure out where you are by the fur and
 feather you've left behind, your footprints and piss and shit, and then you
 think you've lost it and you bed down for the night but THERE IT IS
 WAITING
 WHEN YOU WAKE UP
 and you spit! againt but it keeps following you. atways in the corner of
 your eye. until you just
 die
 we are scary motherfuckers ok
What if we were the monsters?omg-humor.tumblr.com

What if we were the monsters?omg-humor.tumblr.com