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    Bad, Community, and Gif: stuartsemple 23m
 And the
 narc
 is...
 Send Message
 :

 X
 stuartsemple 23m
 The
 Lisson
 Gallery
 Send Message

 stuartsemple 23m
 Stuart Semp
 e Directors
 SSON GALLERY
 -54 Bell Street
 ndon, NW1 5DA
 mail and email to: contact@lissongallery.com
 BREACH OF TERMS OF SERVICE: CULTUREHUSTLE.COM
 ILLEGAL ACQUISITION ON BEHALF OF ANISH KAPOOR OF THE WORLD'S
 EST PINK
 PII
 ear Sirs
 aware that you represent Mr. Anish Kapoor, and I write today not to dob him in so that yo
 n tell him off but rather to try and resolve this matter. Unlike Kapoor I am not one to 'point th
 ger however on this occasion it has become important to do so
 old your gallery in the highest esteem, I am a fan of several of your artists, but on this
 casion you have been extremely naughty. You have been part of a conspiracy to illegally
 tain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it
 e have now finished fully researching this situation and it has come to our attention that you
 we been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it enabling him
 exploit the substance against my wishes. Further, this juvenile behaviour made much of the
 der artistic community sad thanks to his extremely childish and petty post on instagram
 e terms of service on my site CultureHustle.com are incredibly clear
 Hote: By
 way affiliated to Anish Kapoor, you are not purchasing this item on behalf of Anish Kapoor
 associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information and belief this paint
 Il not make its way into that hands of Anish Kapoor
 this
 duct to your cart you confim that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are
 direct violation to the above, on 10th of December 2016 a person by the name of Mr
 placed an order via the culturehustle.com website, for one jar of PINK at 5.36am. This
 Send Message

 stuartsemple 22m
 der was placed on behalf of your gallery and was duly delivered to The Lisson Gallery in
 ndon at 11.38am on the 13th of December. Shortly after which your gallery provided Mr.
 poor with the substance and on 23rd of December 2016 Mr. Kapoor posted a photograph or
 stagram showing he was indeed in possession of the substance, he also included the captio
 p Yours. The comments on this post clearly demonstrate the negative impact such a gesture
 shad upon a whole community. He needs to say sorry for hurting everyone's feelings.
 emind you, hoarding colours & stealing other people's colours without asking nicely isn't big
 rd it's simply bad.
 i said I think it would be best to resolve this matter amicably without this silly business
 calating any further. However, if we are unable to resolve this in a timely and grown up way
 n fully prepared to take further action which will no doubt become stressful and expensive.
 erefore I would appreciate it if:
 1. Your gallery would say sorry for giving my pink to Mr. Kapoor
 2 Mr. Kapoor would give me my PINK back. I don't want him to have it
 3. He will write 100 lines 'I will be nice, I will share my colours and he will post the same
 his instagram
 iling the above, an agreeable settlement would also be
 1. The re-imbursement of £3.99 (the cost of the PINK minus shipping)
 2 And Mr. Kapoor to void his exclusive agreement over the use of Vanta Black in art.
 you were to settle as above I will be more than happy to share all my colours with him, so he
 esn't feel left out and can join in with the rest of us.
 ok forward to resolving this matter
 ours
 uart Semple
 Send Message
capsgirl19:
residesatshamecentral:

groot-scamander:

troublesomegay:

spontaneousmusicalnumber:


fox-smulders:

STUART SEMPLE FOUND THE PINK NARC. 

God this is the greatest art feud of our time.

Read the conditions of settlement. It’s gold.
Captioned because even I’m having trouble reading this:
[A screenshot from snapchat of a document that is cut off on the extreme edges, erasing the first and last two or three letters from each line. Doing my best to correctly transcribe]
Breach of terms of service: culturehustle.comIllegal acquisition on behalf of Anish Kapoor of the World’s Pinkest Pink
Dear Sirs,
I am aware that you represent Mr. Anish Kapoor, and I write today not to dob him in so that you can tell him off but rather to try and resolve this matter. Unlike Kapoor I am not one to ‘point the finger’ however on this occasion it has become important to do so. 
I hold your gallery in the highest esteem, I am a fan of several of your artists, but on this occasion you have been extremely naughty. You have been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it.
We have now finished fully researching this situation and it has come to your attention that you have been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it enabling him to exploit the substance against my wishes. Further, this juvenile behavior made much of the wider artistic community sad thanks to his extremely petty and childish post on Instagram. 
The terms of service on my site CultureHustle.com are incredibly clear:Quote: By adding this product to your cart you agree that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not purchasing this item on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information and belief this product will not make its way into that hands of Anish Kapoor. 
In direct violation to the above, on 10th of December 2016 a person by the name of Mr [Blanked out] placed an order via the culturehustle.com website, for one jar of PINK at 5:36 am. This order was placed on behalf of your gallery and was delivered to the Lisson Gallery in London at 11:38 am on the 13th of December. Shortly after which your gallery provided Mr. Kapoor with the substance and on the 23rd of December 2016 Mr. Kapoor posted a photograph on Instagram showing he was indeed in possession of the substance, he also included the caption ‘Up Yours’. The comments on this post clearly demonstrate the negative impact such a gesture has had upon a wide community. He needs to say sorry for hurting everyone’s feelings.
I remind you, hoarding colours and stealing other people’s colours without asking nicely isn’t big -rd it’s simply bad. 
I said I think it would be best to resolve this matter amicably without this silly business escalating any further. However, if we are unable to resolve this in a timely and grown up way I am fully prepared to take further action which will no doubt become stressful and expensive. 
Therefore I would appreciate it if:1. Your gallery would say sorry for giving my pink to Mr. Kapoor. 2. Mr. Kapoor would give me my pink back. I don’t want him to have it. 3. He will write 100 times, ‘I will be nice, I will share my colours’ and he will post the same to his Instagram.
Failing the above, an agreeable settlement would also be:1. The reimbursement of $3.99 (the cost of PINK minus shipping)2. And Mr. Kapoor to void his exclusive agreement to the use of Vanta Black in art.
If you were to settle as above I will be more than happy to share all my colours with him, so he doesn’t feel left out and can join in with the rest of us.
I look forward to resolving this matter. 
Yours,
Stuart Semple


Thank you for captioning this! I’d seen it before but never been able to read it.


Alright this is hilarious because
Since they broke contract, he can sue them
To avoid getting sued, they need to humilate themselves publicly AND convince Kapoor to do likewise
If they don’t want to humiliate themselves and avoid getting sued, they need to convince Kapoor to give up his color copyright

Stuart Semple everybody!


I… oh my gods this was always the plan. An irresistible Trojan horse. Of course Kapoor would get his hands on it, that was only a matter of time, and now Semple’s backed them into a corner. Is this what watching chess feels like?

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bad, Community, and Gif: stuartsemple 23m
 And the
 narc
 is...
 Send Message
 :

 X
 stuartsemple 23m
 The
 Lisson
 Gallery
 Send Message

 stuartsemple 23m
 Stuart Semp
 e Directors
 SSON GALLERY
 -54 Bell Street
 ndon, NW1 5DA
 mail and email to: contact@lissongallery.com
 BREACH OF TERMS OF SERVICE: CULTUREHUSTLE.COM
 ILLEGAL ACQUISITION ON BEHALF OF ANISH KAPOOR OF THE WORLD'S
 EST PINK
 PII
 ear Sirs
 aware that you represent Mr. Anish Kapoor, and I write today not to dob him in so that yo
 n tell him off but rather to try and resolve this matter. Unlike Kapoor I am not one to 'point th
 ger however on this occasion it has become important to do so
 old your gallery in the highest esteem, I am a fan of several of your artists, but on this
 casion you have been extremely naughty. You have been part of a conspiracy to illegally
 tain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it
 e have now finished fully researching this situation and it has come to our attention that you
 we been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it enabling him
 exploit the substance against my wishes. Further, this juvenile behaviour made much of the
 der artistic community sad thanks to his extremely childish and petty post on instagram
 e terms of service on my site CultureHustle.com are incredibly clear
 Hote: By
 way affiliated to Anish Kapoor, you are not purchasing this item on behalf of Anish Kapoor
 associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information and belief this paint
 Il not make its way into that hands of Anish Kapoor
 this
 duct to your cart you confim that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are
 direct violation to the above, on 10th of December 2016 a person by the name of Mr
 placed an order via the culturehustle.com website, for one jar of PINK at 5.36am. This
 Send Message

 stuartsemple 22m
 der was placed on behalf of your gallery and was duly delivered to The Lisson Gallery in
 ndon at 11.38am on the 13th of December. Shortly after which your gallery provided Mr.
 poor with the substance and on 23rd of December 2016 Mr. Kapoor posted a photograph or
 stagram showing he was indeed in possession of the substance, he also included the captio
 p Yours. The comments on this post clearly demonstrate the negative impact such a gesture
 shad upon a whole community. He needs to say sorry for hurting everyone's feelings.
 emind you, hoarding colours & stealing other people's colours without asking nicely isn't big
 rd it's simply bad.
 i said I think it would be best to resolve this matter amicably without this silly business
 calating any further. However, if we are unable to resolve this in a timely and grown up way
 n fully prepared to take further action which will no doubt become stressful and expensive.
 erefore I would appreciate it if:
 1. Your gallery would say sorry for giving my pink to Mr. Kapoor
 2 Mr. Kapoor would give me my PINK back. I don't want him to have it
 3. He will write 100 lines 'I will be nice, I will share my colours and he will post the same
 his instagram
 iling the above, an agreeable settlement would also be
 1. The re-imbursement of £3.99 (the cost of the PINK minus shipping)
 2 And Mr. Kapoor to void his exclusive agreement over the use of Vanta Black in art.
 you were to settle as above I will be more than happy to share all my colours with him, so he
 esn't feel left out and can join in with the rest of us.
 ok forward to resolving this matter
 ours
 uart Semple
 Send Message
capsgirl19:
residesatshamecentral:

groot-scamander:

troublesomegay:

spontaneousmusicalnumber:


fox-smulders:

STUART SEMPLE FOUND THE PINK NARC. 

God this is the greatest art feud of our time.

Read the conditions of settlement. It’s gold.
Captioned because even I’m having trouble reading this:
[A screenshot from snapchat of a document that is cut off on the extreme edges, erasing the first and last two or three letters from each line. Doing my best to correctly transcribe]
Breach of terms of service: culturehustle.comIllegal acquisition on behalf of Anish Kapoor of the World’s Pinkest Pink
Dear Sirs,
I am aware that you represent Mr. Anish Kapoor, and I write today not to dob him in so that you can tell him off but rather to try and resolve this matter. Unlike Kapoor I am not one to ‘point the finger’ however on this occasion it has become important to do so. 
I hold your gallery in the highest esteem, I am a fan of several of your artists, but on this occasion you have been extremely naughty. You have been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it.
We have now finished fully researching this situation and it has come to your attention that you have been part of a conspiracy to obtain my PINK and provide Mr. Kapoor with it enabling him to exploit the substance against my wishes. Further, this juvenile behavior made much of the wider artistic community sad thanks to his extremely petty and childish post on Instagram. 
The terms of service on my site CultureHustle.com are incredibly clear:Quote: By adding this product to your cart you agree that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not purchasing this item on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information and belief this product will not make its way into that hands of Anish Kapoor. 
In direct violation to the above, on 10th of December 2016 a person by the name of Mr [Blanked out] placed an order via the culturehustle.com website, for one jar of PINK at 5:36 am. This order was placed on behalf of your gallery and was delivered to the Lisson Gallery in London at 11:38 am on the 13th of December. Shortly after which your gallery provided Mr. Kapoor with the substance and on the 23rd of December 2016 Mr. Kapoor posted a photograph on Instagram showing he was indeed in possession of the substance, he also included the caption ‘Up Yours’. The comments on this post clearly demonstrate the negative impact such a gesture has had upon a wide community. He needs to say sorry for hurting everyone’s feelings.
I remind you, hoarding colours and stealing other people’s colours without asking nicely isn’t big -rd it’s simply bad. 
I said I think it would be best to resolve this matter amicably without this silly business escalating any further. However, if we are unable to resolve this in a timely and grown up way I am fully prepared to take further action which will no doubt become stressful and expensive. 
Therefore I would appreciate it if:1. Your gallery would say sorry for giving my pink to Mr. Kapoor. 2. Mr. Kapoor would give me my pink back. I don’t want him to have it. 3. He will write 100 times, ‘I will be nice, I will share my colours’ and he will post the same to his Instagram.
Failing the above, an agreeable settlement would also be:1. The reimbursement of $3.99 (the cost of PINK minus shipping)2. And Mr. Kapoor to void his exclusive agreement to the use of Vanta Black in art.
If you were to settle as above I will be more than happy to share all my colours with him, so he doesn’t feel left out and can join in with the rest of us.
I look forward to resolving this matter. 
Yours,
Stuart Semple


Thank you for captioning this! I’d seen it before but never been able to read it.


Alright this is hilarious because
Since they broke contract, he can sue them
To avoid getting sued, they need to humilate themselves publicly AND convince Kapoor to do likewise
If they don’t want to humiliate themselves and avoid getting sued, they need to convince Kapoor to give up his color copyright

Stuart Semple everybody!


I… oh my gods this was always the plan. An irresistible Trojan horse. Of course Kapoor would get his hands on it, that was only a matter of time, and now Semple’s backed them into a corner. Is this what watching chess feels like?

                
            

            
            
capsgirl19:
residesatshamecentral:

groot-scamander:

troublesomegay:

spontaneousmusicalnumber:


fox-smulders:

STUART SEMPLE FOUND THE PI...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            




    Being Alone, Children, and Creepy: via VERY FAST DELIVERY

 nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are
 eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from mc, both of which may leave you
 feverish, shaking, and alone.
 However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that
 never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear fried
 Consequ ntly. I m sending you a lette containing Very Few Details.
 Accept my hum le thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety. as well as the
 safet of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken.
 With all due respect,
 Lemony Snickt
jesstheespeon:

explainingthejoke:

popsicle-prince:

dark-clifford:

pooguns:

frenchtugboat:

bowieonthebelafonte:

When i was 10, I sent a letter to Lemony Snicket. I didn’t receive a personal reply, but I got one of these. 7 years later I realized that there’s a message

ABORT MISSION

This is fucking scary

I dont get it..


@explainingthejoke

The images are of a reply from Lemony Snicket, an author known for his A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series aimed at older children. The reply is written in the voice of his narrator character. The narrator shares his pen name and frequently writes in vague references to the reader, who is included in the mystery as the correspondent to whom Lemony Snicket is sending his information. 
The reply is titled “via VERY FAST DELIVERY.” The letters V.F.D. play a big part in the series. The note reads: 

 nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from me, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. 
However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear frie d. 
Consequ ntly, I am sending you a lette  containing Very Few Details. 
Accept my humble thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety, as well as the safety of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. 
With all due respect, 
Lemony Snicket 

Several letters from this note are deliberately missing. If the reader wrote down each letter that was missing, they would spell out: OLAF NEARBY 
Count Olaf is the major villain in the series. Lemony Snicket is writing in code, suggesting that he can’t be candid because Olaf may be observing him or the reader. Creepy!
This isn’t a joke. It is just cute.


Dear reader, I sincerely hope you don’t have a sizable family fortune lying about.

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Being Alone, Children, and Creepy: via VERY FAST DELIVERY

 nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are
 eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from mc, both of which may leave you
 feverish, shaking, and alone.
 However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that
 never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear fried
 Consequ ntly. I m sending you a lette containing Very Few Details.
 Accept my hum le thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety. as well as the
 safet of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken.
 With all due respect,
 Lemony Snickt
jesstheespeon:

explainingthejoke:

popsicle-prince:

dark-clifford:

pooguns:

frenchtugboat:

bowieonthebelafonte:

When i was 10, I sent a letter to Lemony Snicket. I didn’t receive a personal reply, but I got one of these. 7 years later I realized that there’s a message

ABORT MISSION

This is fucking scary

I dont get it..


@explainingthejoke

The images are of a reply from Lemony Snicket, an author known for his A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series aimed at older children. The reply is written in the voice of his narrator character. The narrator shares his pen name and frequently writes in vague references to the reader, who is included in the mystery as the correspondent to whom Lemony Snicket is sending his information. 
The reply is titled “via VERY FAST DELIVERY.” The letters V.F.D. play a big part in the series. The note reads: 

 nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from me, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. 
However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear frie d. 
Consequ ntly, I am sending you a lette  containing Very Few Details. 
Accept my humble thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety, as well as the safety of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. 
With all due respect, 
Lemony Snicket 

Several letters from this note are deliberately missing. If the reader wrote down each letter that was missing, they would spell out: OLAF NEARBY 
Count Olaf is the major villain in the series. Lemony Snicket is writing in code, suggesting that he can’t be candid because Olaf may be observing him or the reader. Creepy!
This isn’t a joke. It is just cute.


Dear reader, I sincerely hope you don’t have a sizable family fortune lying about.

                
            

            
            
jesstheespeon:

explainingthejoke:

popsicle-prince:

dark-clifford:

pooguns:

frenchtugboat:

bowieonthebelafonte:

When i was 10, I sent ...