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    Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 m the pole with your hands.
 A tongue
 very cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 will stick when the surface of the pole is
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole.
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Δ°ake
 test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue.
 . If
 if your tongue is stuck to a pale, do nor panic er pullit
 Warm the pole with your bands until your tongue comes loor
 another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck
 your tongue should do the trick.
 pantomiming a glass of water poured over

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/173135011953/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://awesomage.com/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook/">

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook</a><br/></b>

<br/></p></blockquote>
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 m the pole with your hands.
 A tongue
 very cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 will stick when the surface of the pole is
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole.
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Δ°ake
 test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue.
 . If
 if your tongue is stuck to a pale, do nor panic er pullit
 Warm the pole with your bands until your tongue comes loor
 another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck
 your tongue should do the trick.
 pantomiming a glass of water poured over

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/173135011953/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://awesomage.com/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook/">

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook</a><br/></b>

<br/></p></blockquote>
                
            

            
            
<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/173135011953/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 m the pole with your hands.
 A tongue
 very cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 will stick when the surface of the pole is
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole.
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Δ°ake
 test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue.
 . If
 if your tongue is stuck to a pale, do nor panic er pullit
 Warm the pole with your bands until your tongue comes loor
 another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck
 your tongue should do the trick.
 pantomiming a glass of water poured over

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/173135011953/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://awesomage.com/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook/">

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook</a><br/></b>

<br/></p></blockquote>
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 m the pole with your hands.
 A tongue
 very cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 will stick when the surface of the pole is
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole.
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | Δ°ake
 test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue.
 . If
 if your tongue is stuck to a pale, do nor panic er pullit
 Warm the pole with your bands until your tongue comes loor
 another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck
 your tongue should do the trick.
 pantomiming a glass of water poured over

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/173135011953/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://awesomage.com/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook/">

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook</a><br/></b>

<br/></p></blockquote>
                
            

            
            
<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/173135011953/worst-case-scenario-survival-handbook" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            




    Bad, Bitch, and Chihuahua: Highlights
 Always willing to make a rain
 Laughs at medioore jokers
 . I play s different instrument
 . Turned my recorder into a fully functional obacco po
 Very optimistic when hungover
 Friendship bracelets
 Can drive a stick shift
 I got bars
 Iget along with overy dog rve met and at a 73% oftro people rve moc.
 *
 Downsides
 Will be late nearly every day with iterally no excuse
 Will spook the customers with
 I have ADHD, but don't worry, I buy other peoples adderall
 Allergic to mushrooms (still willing to trip them)
 .I have been the cause of 13 car accidents (that I know ofy
 . Kind of bad at doing accents, usually just comes off as disrespecttuil
 Contributions
 Inventor
 Sauce Boss
 . A safe space and secure area for your sauces in the car.
 For a spill and worry free drive home
 . Part the Red Sea
 .The thick, untamed, poofy, distressed mane usually accompanied by a Mo
 Moses Tampons
 Coined the phrase "jean skirt hair
 mon in a floor length jean skirt
 Coined the term *Escobars
 When someone snorts a mix of cocaine and Xanax
 .Not recommended
 Education
 Bradford Elementary School
 Made it to round 1 of the 6th grade spelling bee
 Mullen High School 2008-2012
 .
 Graduated 1st place in worst attendance in class of 2012
 .

 Dia
 though
 Had an impact on the student handbook because I rode a donkey to schook
 of Northem Colorado 2012-201
 Survived Greeley
 Majored in like 7 different things so I'm well rounded
 University of the Virgin Isiands 2015-2017
 Majored in Political Science and English- Creative Whiting
 School blew away in Hurricane Irma
 School cut major
 Jobs I Didnt Quit In Less Than 3 Weeks Or Get Fired From
 Colorado Saddlery 2012-Present
 I make everyone feel good about themselves in the company because I ne
 ver know what's going on there
 They don't pay me anymore but I still show up from time to time
 . Laboniously diverse in that bitch
 . I programmed their Alexa to play the world's national anthems at noon ever
 y day
 - They pretty much can't fire me thered
 e Intenship in Haiti 2016
 Partially fluent in Haitian Creole, which I speak in when dicey fools speak to
 me at the bar and I want them to leave 4ever
 Spent about a year total in Hait
 I had Zika, so don't worry, I won't be having children any time soono
 Harley Davidson-St. Thomas
 . I folded shits, talked to drunk people, then I sold said shits to said drunk p
 eople
 I'm very impressive at folding shirts
 Reason(s) I Dipped:
 I wanted to get off the islandl over Christmas
 I kept accidentally throwing piles of clothes onto the owner's chihuahua a
 d I felt really guilty about ito
 They said I quit better than any other employee they've had, that was co
 sort of
 Local Color Clothing Boutique
 More folding, but the clothes were more expensive)
Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bad, Bitch, and Chihuahua: Highlights
 Always willing to make a rain
 Laughs at medioore jokers
 . I play s different instrument
 . Turned my recorder into a fully functional obacco po
 Very optimistic when hungover
 Friendship bracelets
 Can drive a stick shift
 I got bars
 Iget along with overy dog rve met and at a 73% oftro people rve moc.
 *
 Downsides
 Will be late nearly every day with iterally no excuse
 Will spook the customers with
 I have ADHD, but don't worry, I buy other peoples adderall
 Allergic to mushrooms (still willing to trip them)
 .I have been the cause of 13 car accidents (that I know ofy
 . Kind of bad at doing accents, usually just comes off as disrespecttuil
 Contributions
 Inventor
 Sauce Boss
 . A safe space and secure area for your sauces in the car.
 For a spill and worry free drive home
 . Part the Red Sea
 .The thick, untamed, poofy, distressed mane usually accompanied by a Mo
 Moses Tampons
 Coined the phrase "jean skirt hair
 mon in a floor length jean skirt
 Coined the term *Escobars
 When someone snorts a mix of cocaine and Xanax
 .Not recommended
 Education
 Bradford Elementary School
 Made it to round 1 of the 6th grade spelling bee
 Mullen High School 2008-2012
 .
 Graduated 1st place in worst attendance in class of 2012
 .

 Dia
 though
 Had an impact on the student handbook because I rode a donkey to schook
 of Northem Colorado 2012-201
 Survived Greeley
 Majored in like 7 different things so I'm well rounded
 University of the Virgin Isiands 2015-2017
 Majored in Political Science and English- Creative Whiting
 School blew away in Hurricane Irma
 School cut major
 Jobs I Didnt Quit In Less Than 3 Weeks Or Get Fired From
 Colorado Saddlery 2012-Present
 I make everyone feel good about themselves in the company because I ne
 ver know what's going on there
 They don't pay me anymore but I still show up from time to time
 . Laboniously diverse in that bitch
 . I programmed their Alexa to play the world's national anthems at noon ever
 y day
 - They pretty much can't fire me thered
 e Intenship in Haiti 2016
 Partially fluent in Haitian Creole, which I speak in when dicey fools speak to
 me at the bar and I want them to leave 4ever
 Spent about a year total in Hait
 I had Zika, so don't worry, I won't be having children any time soono
 Harley Davidson-St. Thomas
 . I folded shits, talked to drunk people, then I sold said shits to said drunk p
 eople
 I'm very impressive at folding shirts
 Reason(s) I Dipped:
 I wanted to get off the islandl over Christmas
 I kept accidentally throwing piles of clothes onto the owner's chihuahua a
 d I felt really guilty about ito
 They said I quit better than any other employee they've had, that was co
 sort of
 Local Color Clothing Boutique
 More folding, but the clothes were more expensive)
Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work
                
            

            
            
Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work