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    Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook


                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook



            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook


                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook



            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Ass, Bad, and College: Anonymous
 12/01/18(Sat)06:19:39 No.49597417
 parents spent most of childhood fighting
 dad was alwavs pissed
 >has a shitty fucking sense of humour ("haha I'm
 gonna beat you if you dont this and this")
 vividly remember getting slapped hard as fuck
 while we were taking a walk and I decided to skip
 was maybe 6 years old
 >broke my toys
 >mother never did anything
 says she's always there for me and the only one
 who actually acknowledged that their long ass
 divorce could possibly be a really shitty experience
 for me
 lies and manipulates people
 cheated on my dad when I was 9
 took the money I got for birthdays and didn't give
 it back
 >dad's gf is actually kinda alright
 >she relays every thing i say to my dad or
 grandparents though
 tells me I'm indecent and rude when I curl up on a
 chair while at grandma's house
 extremely concerned about how other's view her
 typical woman.jpg
 have a family
 they all hate me because of my mum
 the only family member I truly love and would
 miss if they were gone is my aunt whom I see 1-2 a
 year
 just wanna get a well-paying and fulfilling job and
 move far away from all of the bullshit

 Anonymous
 12/01/18(Sat)05:50:32 No.49597109
 2/3
 got accepted to good college
 >mom immediately thought that I would go on a
 drug/drink/sex bender and get into trouble
 >demand I install tracking software for the smart
 phone she gave me
 "how can I trust you after all you did to me in high
 school?!"
 largely "encouraged" to choose a particular
 engineering major
 extended family, particularly mom's side, made
 very clear to me the consequences for changing
 majors, that it would be held over my head for the
 rest of my life (they did it to cousin)
 >went there felt freedom for the first time in my life
 did not drug/drink/sex bender or get into trouble
 still maintained good grades throughout (dropped
 only 1 class, A's and B's in a very competitive
 program while taking a minor and premed courses)
 develop some of my own non-academic interests
 and hobbies which family grudgingly accepted
 (though still to this day try to pressure me to sell it
 all o
 stupidest thing I did was ask out high school
 oneitis, who proceeded to use my crime against
 me as a cheap way to gain connections for the rest
 of the 4 years
 nearly dropped out of major over that
 only thing that stopped me was seeing that it
 would take 5 years to graduate, and that it would
 be impossible to explain to family
 heartbreak is temporary, family is forever amirite?
 >powered through major despite slowly dying
 every day surrounded by people who hated me
 with no way out
 >family never knevw
 constant pressure destroyed me slowly: I'm surel
 have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder
 graduated
 get rejected by every medical program in the
 country
 >by this time mom cut connections with family who
 had always been treating her like shit
 thought things would get better, at least at home

 Anonymous
 12/01/18(Sat)06:03:04 No.49597258
 3/3
 forced to take job at shithole startup
 witnessed and experienced unbelievable shit:
 racism, sexism, and just plain cruelty from rich
 degenerates playing company
 >mom never believed me when I explained
 thought I was exagerating, and would gaslight me
 even in middle of conversation
 >to this day I still hear "it's not that bad" when l
 make the mistake of talking about what happened
 over there
 I have since changed jobs and am still working on
 my ultimate goal, but I'm more of a wreck than l
 ever was. Thanks to being berated by my parents
 for being ungrateful, and constantly having to jump
 through a million hoops to try to win some love I'm
 extremely emotionally needy, especially towards
 women I percieve as mothering figures. It's to the
 point where I'm pushing away a formerly close
 friend and mentor who had been extremely kind to
 me
 The worst thing is that through all this, my mom
 (and probably nearly everyone else) is going to say
 it's all my fault for not being "strong" or
 independent" enough. For example a few weeks
 ago I was stupid enough to tell my mom how I
 hated how her relatives coerced me so hard into
 staying in my major, even when my heart and brain
 were both begging to be allowed to run, when they
 probably couldn't even tell me what my degree was
 in, and this made me too scared to leave since l
 feared a trickle down punishment from her. She
 told me l "stayed in there for myself" and it was all
 on me since "it's not [herl style" to directly confront
 others (although I have witnessed this several
 times). I have to keep pretending everything is
 alright though it is getting harder every day. There's
 nobody I can talk to about this: after all, who would
 believe me?
Anon has a bad childhood
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Ass, Bad, and College: Anonymous
 12/01/18(Sat)06:19:39 No.49597417
 parents spent most of childhood fighting
 dad was alwavs pissed
 >has a shitty fucking sense of humour ("haha I'm
 gonna beat you if you dont this and this")
 vividly remember getting slapped hard as fuck
 while we were taking a walk and I decided to skip
 was maybe 6 years old
 >broke my toys
 >mother never did anything
 says she's always there for me and the only one
 who actually acknowledged that their long ass
 divorce could possibly be a really shitty experience
 for me
 lies and manipulates people
 cheated on my dad when I was 9
 took the money I got for birthdays and didn't give
 it back
 >dad's gf is actually kinda alright
 >she relays every thing i say to my dad or
 grandparents though
 tells me I'm indecent and rude when I curl up on a
 chair while at grandma's house
 extremely concerned about how other's view her
 typical woman.jpg
 have a family
 they all hate me because of my mum
 the only family member I truly love and would
 miss if they were gone is my aunt whom I see 1-2 a
 year
 just wanna get a well-paying and fulfilling job and
 move far away from all of the bullshit

 Anonymous
 12/01/18(Sat)05:50:32 No.49597109
 2/3
 got accepted to good college
 >mom immediately thought that I would go on a
 drug/drink/sex bender and get into trouble
 >demand I install tracking software for the smart
 phone she gave me
 "how can I trust you after all you did to me in high
 school?!"
 largely "encouraged" to choose a particular
 engineering major
 extended family, particularly mom's side, made
 very clear to me the consequences for changing
 majors, that it would be held over my head for the
 rest of my life (they did it to cousin)
 >went there felt freedom for the first time in my life
 did not drug/drink/sex bender or get into trouble
 still maintained good grades throughout (dropped
 only 1 class, A's and B's in a very competitive
 program while taking a minor and premed courses)
 develop some of my own non-academic interests
 and hobbies which family grudgingly accepted
 (though still to this day try to pressure me to sell it
 all o
 stupidest thing I did was ask out high school
 oneitis, who proceeded to use my crime against
 me as a cheap way to gain connections for the rest
 of the 4 years
 nearly dropped out of major over that
 only thing that stopped me was seeing that it
 would take 5 years to graduate, and that it would
 be impossible to explain to family
 heartbreak is temporary, family is forever amirite?
 >powered through major despite slowly dying
 every day surrounded by people who hated me
 with no way out
 >family never knevw
 constant pressure destroyed me slowly: I'm surel
 have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder
 graduated
 get rejected by every medical program in the
 country
 >by this time mom cut connections with family who
 had always been treating her like shit
 thought things would get better, at least at home

 Anonymous
 12/01/18(Sat)06:03:04 No.49597258
 3/3
 forced to take job at shithole startup
 witnessed and experienced unbelievable shit:
 racism, sexism, and just plain cruelty from rich
 degenerates playing company
 >mom never believed me when I explained
 thought I was exagerating, and would gaslight me
 even in middle of conversation
 >to this day I still hear "it's not that bad" when l
 make the mistake of talking about what happened
 over there
 I have since changed jobs and am still working on
 my ultimate goal, but I'm more of a wreck than l
 ever was. Thanks to being berated by my parents
 for being ungrateful, and constantly having to jump
 through a million hoops to try to win some love I'm
 extremely emotionally needy, especially towards
 women I percieve as mothering figures. It's to the
 point where I'm pushing away a formerly close
 friend and mentor who had been extremely kind to
 me
 The worst thing is that through all this, my mom
 (and probably nearly everyone else) is going to say
 it's all my fault for not being "strong" or
 independent" enough. For example a few weeks
 ago I was stupid enough to tell my mom how I
 hated how her relatives coerced me so hard into
 staying in my major, even when my heart and brain
 were both begging to be allowed to run, when they
 probably couldn't even tell me what my degree was
 in, and this made me too scared to leave since l
 feared a trickle down punishment from her. She
 told me l "stayed in there for myself" and it was all
 on me since "it's not [herl style" to directly confront
 others (although I have witnessed this several
 times). I have to keep pretending everything is
 alright though it is getting harder every day. There's
 nobody I can talk to about this: after all, who would
 believe me?
Anon has a bad childhood
                
            

            
            
Anon has a bad childhood