🔥 | Latest

Another One, Cats, and Run: What's a cool fact about the human body that a lot of people don't know? /r/AskReddit 5h alwaysclimbing5 self.AskReddit Selftext 348 (96%) 446 vault13rev 720 pts 5h (edit 4h) If we were an RPG character, our main stat would be endurance. We are, by animal standards, hellishly undying and unrelenting terrors, these Terminator-esque nightmares that just DO. NOT. STOP So ancestrally we are persistence hunters. That is, our main tactic for catching prey without fancy weapons was to just run them down, especially in our way-back home of the African desert. You can still see it, all over the human body. We are nearly hairless. This lack of insulation means better heat dissipation. We have a ton of sweat glands, next to other mammals. Again, heat dissipation. Another one is our two-legged gait - walking for us is technically just a series of controlled falls. We let gravity do half the work, and as a result use up fewer resources and generate less heat (quadrupeds, on the other hand, have to do more work with more legs). Imean, imagine being a more-or-less gazelle of half a million years ago. You're eating, doing your thing, when this predator arrives, so you run off. Now most predators, they'll only chase for a short distance and then call it a day (watch cats, for instance). But this one... here he is again. So you run. He returns. You run again. He returns. You're getting hot -you have to stop and pant to lose heat, but he just keeps jogging.. You run. He keeps coming. You're tired -you're fast, but not for very long, and this stretches your limits. Eventually you just lay there, exhausted and heat-stunned, and this ludicrous hairless monkey just jogs on over and kills you. That's our claws, our sharp teeth, even without our technology and tool-making. We simply don't stop. siriuszstar:I’m scared
Another One, Cats, and Run: What's a cool fact about the human body
 that a lot of people don't know?
 /r/AskReddit 5h
 alwaysclimbing5
 self.AskReddit
 Selftext
 348 (96%)
 446
 vault13rev 720 pts 5h (edit 4h)
 If we were an RPG character, our main stat would be
 endurance.
 We are, by animal standards, hellishly undying and unrelenting
 terrors, these Terminator-esque nightmares that just DO. NOT.
 STOP
 So ancestrally we are persistence hunters. That is, our main
 tactic for catching prey without fancy weapons was to just run
 them down, especially in our way-back home of the African
 desert. You can still see it, all over the human body.
 We are nearly hairless. This lack of insulation means better
 heat dissipation. We have a ton of sweat glands, next to
 other mammals. Again, heat dissipation. Another one is our
 two-legged gait - walking for us is technically just a series of
 controlled falls. We let gravity do half the work, and as a result
 use up fewer resources and generate less heat (quadrupeds,
 on the other hand, have to do more work with more legs).
 Imean, imagine being a more-or-less gazelle of half a million
 years ago. You're eating, doing your thing, when this predator
 arrives, so you run off. Now most predators, they'll only
 chase for a short distance and then call it a day (watch cats,
 for instance). But this one... here he is again. So you run. He
 returns. You run again. He returns. You're getting hot -you have
 to stop and pant to lose heat, but he just keeps jogging.. You
 run. He keeps coming. You're tired -you're fast, but not for very
 long, and this stretches your limits.
 Eventually you just lay there, exhausted and heat-stunned, and
 this ludicrous hairless monkey just jogs on over and kills you.
 That's our claws, our sharp teeth, even without our technology
 and tool-making. We simply don't stop.
siriuszstar:I’m scared

siriuszstar:I’m scared

Books, Driving, and Friends: Yestay Tke top banaas like you Whet's the date thent hun Im driving past Gatwick tonight, get ready x t Tinish in Smins perfect can't watt Let me know when and where to pick you up/meet 7 Today Gatwick airport south terminal 410 pm Be there or be suuare Please dont I'm the kind of person that would actually book a flight somewhere with a random person on tinder Lets doit Where we going Paris taly New York? Vour choice m game But Thave options so be quick Daling https://www.wowcher.co.uk deal/travel/12846246/mystery getaway-voucher?from 4699308 Sroot.metadata.title Sroot metadata.description www.wohet.cok Tm game No joke shall we actually do it Pls don't be shitting me d actually be up for it Yeah me too Do we get to dchoose when were going mno snake How do we booki Ate they legith I think you get to choose out of a couple of weekends, but Im not 100% Also if you get Ball or one of the really far away ones you go for a week Yeah they're legit One of my friends has done it and I've been so up for it ever since I heard about it One of us books then the other transfers the money? Can w.choose a date prety E0on Need a bit of sun in my life Haha yeah sure, cba with this rain You happy for me to book and then you transfer me? Yeu Im good with that) just can't do this weekend The holiday thati Pzoan we fly from Gatwick it we can choose The draw is on the 23rd, so we find out where we go then and book the flights and give all our details in then Will try and go from Gatwick for sure Fingers crossed it bai Fuck if we're going on holiday l have to go for a nin Get this sexy beach bod ready That would be ridiculous 0 Ok it's booked And shutup you already have a beach bod! Delived My mate matched with her 2 days ago and is now waiting for a reply after the most daring thing he’s ever done..
Books, Driving, and Friends: Yestay
 Tke top banaas
 like you
 Whet's the date thent hun
 Im driving past Gatwick tonight,
 get ready x
 t
 Tinish in Smins perfect
 can't watt
 Let me know when and where to
 pick you up/meet
 7
 Today
 Gatwick airport south terminal
 410 pm
 Be there or be suuare
 Please dont
 I'm the kind of person that would
 actually book a flight somewhere
 with a random person on tinder
 Lets doit
 Where we going
 Paris
 taly
 New York?
 Vour choice
 m game
 But
 Thave options so be quick
 Daling
 https://www.wowcher.co.uk
 deal/travel/12846246/mystery
 getaway-voucher?from
 4699308
 Sroot.metadata.title
 Sroot metadata.description
 www.wohet.cok
 Tm game
 No joke shall we actually do it
 Pls don't be shitting me
 d actually be up for it
 Yeah me too
 Do we get to dchoose when were
 going
 mno snake
 How do we booki
 Ate they legith
 I think you get to choose out of a
 couple of weekends, but Im not
 100%
 Also if you get Ball or one of the
 really far away ones you go for a
 week
 Yeah they're legit
 One of my friends has done it
 and I've been so up for it ever
 since I heard about it
 One of us books then the other
 transfers the money?
 Can w.choose a date prety
 E0on
 Need a bit of sun in my life
 Haha yeah sure, cba with this rain
 You happy for me to book and
 then you transfer me?
 Yeu Im good with that) just can't
 do this weekend
 The holiday thati
 Pzoan we fly from Gatwick it we
 can choose
 The draw is on the 23rd, so we
 find out where we go then and
 book the flights and give all our
 details in then
 Will try and go from Gatwick for
 sure
 Fingers crossed it bai
 Fuck if we're going on holiday l
 have to go for a nin
 Get this sexy beach bod ready
 That would be ridiculous
 0
 Ok it's booked
 And shutup you already have a
 beach bod!
 Delived
My mate matched with her 2 days ago and is now waiting for a reply after the most daring thing he’s ever done..

My mate matched with her 2 days ago and is now waiting for a reply after the most daring thing he’s ever done..

Doctor, Fire, and Jail: If you mixed Mercury Aluminum phosphat Amonium sulfate, and Formaldehyde with VIRUSES, then got a Syringe and INJECTED it into your child you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for child endangerment and abuse Then WHY is it legal for doctor to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Vaccines If you welded some scrap Aluminum and Steel together added some Tires, Cylinders, Spark plugs and GASOLINE, then took it out and DROVE on a public road you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for public endangerment and unsafe vehide Then WHY is it legal for Ford & Chevy to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Vehicles If you burst into the bedroom of a child you didnt know wielding an AXE then FORCIBLY TOOK the child out of bed and carried them outside the house you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for the assault & kidnapping of a child Then WHY is it legal for firefighter to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Firefighters If you took Copper wiring, connected it to the cty power grid, then ran it through the walls of your house and into the BEDROOM of your child you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for child endangerment and fire code violation I Then WHY is it legal for electrician to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Electricity If you took over a hundred people, packed them into a pressurized metal tube then used refined KEROSENE to LAUNCH them to over 35,000 feet at speeds of over 450 knots you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL for... I'm not sure, probably a lot of things Then WHY is it legal for pilots to do it? and WHY would you let them? Educate yourself Re-Think Aviation epicjohndoe: We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas
Doctor, Fire, and Jail: If you mixed
 Mercury
 Aluminum phosphat
 Amonium sulfate, and
 Formaldehyde with VIRUSES,
 then got a Syringe
 and INJECTED it into your child
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for child endangerment and abuse
 Then WHY is it legal for doctor
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Vaccines
 If you welded some scrap
 Aluminum and Steel together
 added some Tires, Cylinders,
 Spark plugs and GASOLINE,
 then took it out
 and DROVE on a public road
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for public endangerment and unsafe vehide
 Then WHY is it legal for Ford & Chevy
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Vehicles
 If you burst into the bedroom
 of a child you didnt know
 wielding an AXE
 then FORCIBLY TOOK the child
 out of bed and carried
 them outside the house
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for the assault & kidnapping of a child
 Then WHY is it legal for firefighter
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Firefighters
 If you took
 Copper wiring,
 connected it to the
 cty power grid,
 then ran it through the walls of your house
 and into the BEDROOM of your child
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for child endangerment and fire code violation
 I
 Then WHY is it legal for electrician
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Electricity
 If you took over a hundred
 people, packed them into a
 pressurized metal tube
 then used refined KEROSENE
 to LAUNCH them to over 35,000 feet
 at speeds of over 450 knots
 you would be ARRESTED and sent to JAIL
 for... I'm not sure, probably a lot of things
 Then WHY is it legal for pilots
 to do it? and WHY would you let
 them?
 Educate yourself
 Re-Think Aviation
epicjohndoe:

We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas

epicjohndoe: We Need To Re-Think Some Ideas

Creepy, Gif, and Lesbians: So, I know it's a standard Tinder question but I have to ask-are you a serial killer, and if so do you have reason for it? Only a serial killer would ask if serial killer. was Wednesday 8:28 PM Naw, I wouldn't be able to handle the hours. Unless you were looking for a colleague serial killer to bond with... I was going to say the latter but Wednesday 9:13 PM Hypotheticals it is then. If I you were a serial killer, what would be your M.O.? That you are a man. I'd want to be a siren. Ooooh, I like it, somehow you made that not creepy. I am impressed. Do Sirens work on lesbians as well? Aw damn. I have failed. Ummm, no. Idk. Maybe? Wednesday 9:44 PM This sounds like a slightly problematic writting prompt in a freshman creative writting class. You can still kill me if you want, especially the straight white kind. They are pretty underrepresented in the serial killer victim market That is the sweetest thing a complete stranger has ever said to me Ya, just put some sad music in your playlist...or set... or whatever sirens do. Haaa okay So on a scale of 1-5 how would you rate my creepiness? Wednesday 10:33 PM Either O or 10. I cant read non-verbal in text conversations. On a scale of 1-5. I am 98% enjoying the banter, but 1.5% of me is irrationally scared that I just invited you to murder me Wednesday 11:04 PM Do you think this conversation would hold up in court? No, but hopefully it will hold up on reddit Lol... Let me know what sub you decide to post this on I'm pretty sure if it gets enough Karma, it becomes a legal document and will hold up in court. Fingers crossed Type a message... GIF In the untimely event of my death…start here
Creepy, Gif, and Lesbians: So, I know it's a standard Tinder
 question but I have to ask-are
 you a serial killer, and if so do
 you have reason for it?
 Only a serial killer would ask if
 serial killer.
 was
 Wednesday 8:28 PM
 Naw, I wouldn't be able to
 handle the hours.
 Unless you were looking for a
 colleague serial killer to bond
 with...
 I was going to say the latter but
 Wednesday 9:13 PM
 Hypotheticals it is then. If I you
 were a serial killer, what would
 be your M.O.?
 That you are a man. I'd want to
 be a siren.
 Ooooh, I like it, somehow you
 made that not creepy. I am
 impressed.
 Do Sirens work on lesbians as
 well?
 Aw damn. I have failed.
 Ummm, no.
 Idk.
 Maybe?
 Wednesday 9:44 PM
 This sounds like a slightly
 problematic writting prompt in a
 freshman creative writting class.
 You can still kill me if you
 want, especially the straight
 white kind. They are pretty
 underrepresented in the serial
 killer victim market
 That is the sweetest thing a
 complete stranger has ever
 said to me
 Ya, just put some sad music
 in your playlist...or set... or
 whatever sirens do.
 Haaa okay
 So on a scale of 1-5 how would
 you rate my creepiness?
 Wednesday 10:33 PM
 Either O or 10. I cant read
 non-verbal in text conversations.
 On a scale of 1-5.
 I am 98% enjoying the banter,
 but 1.5% of me is irrationally
 scared that I just invited you to
 murder me
 Wednesday 11:04 PM
 Do you think this conversation
 would hold up in court?
 No, but hopefully it will hold up
 on reddit
 Lol... Let me know what sub
 you decide to post this on
 I'm pretty sure if it gets enough
 Karma, it becomes a legal
 document and will hold up in
 court.
 Fingers crossed
 Type a message...
 GIF
In the untimely event of my death…start here

In the untimely event of my death…start here

Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they
 have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them they’re doing their best :(

youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the...

Baseball, Boo, and Cute: Sammi Thursday 11:51 AM Gimme a topic and I'll come up with a witty pick up line for it Or it'll be terrible, but then you can send it to your friends and laugh about it Thursday 12:24 PM That will be perfect Ummmm cereal! Thursday 1:14 PM You must be a bowl of cheerios because you are making my heart feel better already Tuesday 9:44 AM Ah so it was terrible That was actually cute. Idk why I didn't reply Tuesday 1:00 PM Was it cause you didnt want to make awkward small talk after? BECAUSE WE CAN DO BIG TALK IF THATS YOUR THING Tuesday 10:44 PM WHY DO YOU HAVE THE CUTEST THINGS TO SAY BECAUSE CUTE PEOPLE BRING OUT THE CUTE THINGS IN ME Not gonna lie you're like my top tinder guy now. You're SO smooth Tuesday 11:02 PM I'd like to suggest limbo for a date. That way I can lower the bar and continue to exceed expectations Tuesday 11:57 PM How about a baseball game? You're making a lot of homeruns with your puns and you're a real catch. Also, yet haven't had a strikeout yet in my opinion Today 2.14 AM What about going bowling? I know we're avoiding strikes but we'll have to make an exception because you're a serious 10/10. I'd say an 11/10 for the ability to send one back my way but that'd break the scoring system Today 9:47 AM I don't mean to drive you batty with all of the date suggestions... but a haunted house may be better. The way you can come up with all of these is quite frightening. Also l'd rather be scared by the ghouls in the haunted house than being ghosted by you. Today 10:03 AM A haunted house with you would be a frighteningly good time. Fear not about ghosts, the only ghosting I intend to do is calling you "boo". Today 11:31 AM I'm dead hence why you're calling me "boo" Before you die, can I grab your number?? Today 1:44 PM :) Type a message... GIF Turning ghosting in my favor
Baseball, Boo, and Cute: Sammi
 Thursday 11:51 AM
 Gimme a topic and I'll come up with a
 witty pick up line for it
 Or it'll be terrible, but then you can send
 it to your friends and laugh about it
 Thursday 12:24 PM
 That will be perfect
 Ummmm cereal!
 Thursday 1:14 PM
 You must be a bowl of cheerios because
 you are making my heart feel better
 already
 Tuesday 9:44 AM
 Ah so it was terrible
 That was actually cute. Idk why I didn't
 reply
 Tuesday 1:00 PM
 Was it cause you didnt want to make
 awkward small talk after?
 BECAUSE WE CAN DO BIG TALK IF
 THATS YOUR THING
 Tuesday 10:44 PM
 WHY DO YOU HAVE THE CUTEST
 THINGS TO SAY
 BECAUSE CUTE PEOPLE BRING OUT
 THE CUTE THINGS IN ME
 Not gonna lie you're like my top tinder
 guy now. You're SO smooth
 Tuesday 11:02 PM
 I'd like to suggest limbo for a date. That
 way I can lower the bar and continue to
 exceed expectations
 Tuesday 11:57 PM
 How about a baseball game? You're
 making a lot of homeruns with your
 puns and you're a real catch. Also,
 yet haven't had a strikeout yet in my
 opinion
 Today 2.14 AM
 What about going bowling? I know we're
 avoiding strikes but we'll have to make
 an exception because you're a serious
 10/10. I'd say an 11/10 for the ability to
 send one back my way but that'd break
 the scoring system
 Today 9:47 AM
 I don't mean to drive you batty with
 all of the date suggestions... but a
 haunted house may be better. The
 way you can come up with all of these
 is quite frightening. Also l'd rather be
 scared by the ghouls in the haunted
 house than being ghosted by you.
 Today 10:03 AM
 A haunted house with you would be a
 frighteningly good time. Fear not about
 ghosts, the only ghosting I intend to do
 is calling you "boo".
 Today 11:31 AM
 I'm dead
 hence why you're calling
 me "boo"
 Before you die, can I grab your
 number??
 Today 1:44 PM
 :)
 Type a message...
 GIF
Turning ghosting in my favor

Turning ghosting in my favor

Children, Clothes, and Fail: gaming: Indie Game Spotlight: Untitled Goose Game  Oh, boy, do we have an extra super horrible Indie Game Spotlight exclusive for you today! We’re talking, of course, of Untitled Goose Game, a slapstick simulator, where you play a goose hassling a town full of people who would very much like you to stop hassling them, please. It feels a bit like playing the videogame version of an old cartoon, complete with reactive soundtrack. Everything that happens in the game is very low stakes (the goose doesn’t get involved in political scandals, or drive a car off a ramp etc.), but there’s a lot of room for comedic performance in doing things like stealing clothes off a washing line and dumping them in a pond. The team at House House shares roles a lot, and so the game was predominantly designed collaboratively by four people. We chatted with Stuart Gillespie-Cook, who mostly works on animation. Also within House House is Jake Strasser, largely responsible for the design of levels and environments, Nico Disseldorp who does all the programming, and Michael McMaster who mostly works on art direction and UI. The iconic sound effects were made by Em Halberstadt, and Dan Golding designed the music. There’s also art from Kalonica Quigley and additional UI programming from Cherie Davidson. Stuart Gave us the lowdown on the curious title, the game mechanics, and dream crossovers. Read on! What’s the story behind the title of the game? This more or less happened by accident; at first, we just needed something to put on a video we were submitting to a festival. It’s become one of the best things about the game, and I’m so glad we stuck with it. I will say it’s a weird thing to explain when your very not-online hairdresser asks you “oh, what game are you working on?”  How did the team come up with the animation style? The whole visual style of the game is designed to be nice and clean, very readable and approachable. The animation specifically takes a lot of inspiration from slapstick and pantomime—with big, over the top reactions that are impossible to miss. We wanted to squeeze as much emotion as possible out of these people without facial expressions, so everything has to be evoked with body language. We also lean heavily on two dimensional, hand-drawn effects that are lifted from comics—lines to represent the direction of a honk, stars when someone hits their thumb with a hammer, etc. Untitled Goose Game offers a unique take on the puzzle genre. What other mechanics can we expect? Because it’s a game that’s largely about interacting with a bunch of people, the game borrows heavily from AI systems in stealth games. Playing with a character’s awareness of where the goose is, where they left their stuff, where that sound came from etc. is a big part of the comedy of the game. So, while it’s less restrictive than most stealth games, and there’s no real fail state (ie. if a character sees a goose, they’ll think “ah, there’s a goose” rather than “I’d better shoot and kill that spy”), those explicit behaviours that are so present in the stealth genre are really important in our goose game. If you could have the goose cross over into any cinematic or game universe, what would it be and why? It would be nice to see the goose chase Postman Pat over a hedgerow. That era of British children’s television has been a huge influence on the game. Otherwise, we’re always open to having the goose in Smash. Are you ready to fulfill your wildest dreams of becoming a mischevious goose and harassing people? Of course you are! Check out the website to find out how you can get your hands wings on Untitled Goose Game!
Children, Clothes, and Fail: gaming:
Indie Game Spotlight: Untitled Goose Game 
Oh, boy, do we have an extra super horrible Indie Game Spotlight exclusive for you today! We’re talking, of course, of Untitled Goose Game, a slapstick simulator, where you play a goose hassling a town full of people who would very much like you to stop hassling them, please. It feels a bit like playing the videogame version of an old cartoon, complete with reactive soundtrack. Everything that happens in the game is very low stakes (the goose doesn’t get involved in political scandals, or drive a car off a ramp etc.), but there’s a lot of room for comedic performance in doing things like stealing clothes off a washing line and dumping them in a pond.
The team at House House shares roles a lot, and so the game was predominantly designed collaboratively by four people. We chatted with Stuart Gillespie-Cook, who mostly works on animation. Also within House House is Jake Strasser, largely responsible for the design of levels and environments, Nico Disseldorp who does all the programming, and Michael McMaster who mostly works on art direction and UI. The iconic sound effects were made by Em Halberstadt, and Dan Golding designed the music. There’s also art from Kalonica Quigley and additional UI programming from Cherie Davidson. Stuart Gave us the lowdown on the curious title, the game mechanics, and dream crossovers. Read on!
What’s the story behind the title of the game?
This more or less happened by accident; at first, we just needed something to put on a video we were submitting to a festival. It’s become one of the best things about the game, and I’m so glad we stuck with it. I will say it’s a weird thing to explain when your very not-online hairdresser asks you “oh, what game are you working on?”  
How did the team come up with the animation style?
The whole visual style of the game is designed to be nice and clean, very readable and approachable. The animation specifically takes a lot of inspiration from slapstick and pantomime—with big, over the top reactions that are impossible to miss. We wanted to squeeze as much emotion as possible out of these people without facial expressions, so everything has to be evoked with body language. We also lean heavily on two dimensional, hand-drawn effects that are lifted from comics—lines to represent the direction of a honk, stars when someone hits their thumb with a hammer, etc.


Untitled Goose Game offers a unique take on the puzzle genre. What other mechanics can we expect?
Because it’s a game that’s largely about interacting with a bunch of people, the game borrows heavily from AI systems in stealth games. Playing with a character’s awareness of where the goose is, where they left their stuff, where that sound came from etc. is a big part of the comedy of the game. So, while it’s less restrictive than most stealth games, and there’s no real fail state (ie. if a character sees a goose, they’ll think “ah, there’s a goose” rather than “I’d better shoot and kill that spy”), those explicit behaviours that are so present in the stealth genre are really important in our goose game.
If you could have the goose cross over into any cinematic or game universe, what would it be and why?
It would be nice to see the goose chase Postman Pat over a hedgerow. That era of British children’s television has been a huge influence on the game. Otherwise, we’re always open to having the goose in Smash.
Are you ready to fulfill your wildest dreams of becoming a mischevious goose and harassing people? Of course you are! Check out the website to find out how you can get your hands wings on Untitled Goose Game!

gaming: Indie Game Spotlight: Untitled Goose Game  Oh, boy, do we have an extra super horrible Indie Game Spotlight exclusive for you today!...