You Ready


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

        🔥 | Latest
    

    
    

        

        
        

            







    You Ready: You’ve heard of Corndog but are you ready for dogcorn
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                You Ready: You’ve heard of Corndog but are you ready for dogcorn
                
            

            
            
You’ve heard of Corndog but are you ready for dogcorn

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            







    You Ready: omgcheckplease:

✨ CHECK, PLEASE! updates this Tuesday, 4/7 @ 5PM EST with Comic 4.22 - Check. [checkpleasecomic.com!] ✨…Are you ready?
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                You Ready: omgcheckplease:

✨ CHECK, PLEASE! updates this Tuesday, 4/7 @ 5PM EST with Comic 4.22 - Check. [checkpleasecomic.com!] ✨…Are you ready?
                
            

            
            
omgcheckplease:

✨ CHECK, PLEASE! updates this Tuesday, 4/7 @ 5PM EST with Comic 4.22 - Check. [checkpleasecomic.com!] ✨…Are you ready?

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    You Ready: digg:

kosmik-kiko:

Are you ready for our date?

YES

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                You Ready: digg:

kosmik-kiko:

Are you ready for our date?

YES

                
            

            
            
digg:

kosmik-kiko:

Are you ready for our date?

YES


            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    You Ready: Neighbors
Are you ready for your daily dose of squee via Snapchat? #Memes #Snapchat #Dogs #Animals #Cute
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                You Ready: Neighbors
Are you ready for your daily dose of squee via Snapchat? #Memes #Snapchat #Dogs #Animals #Cute
                
            

            
            
Are you ready for your daily dose of squee via Snapchat? #Memes #Snapchat #Dogs #Animals #Cute

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    You Ready: Neighbors
Are you ready for your daily dose of squee via Snapchat? #Memes #Snapchat #Dogs #Animals #Cute
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                You Ready: Neighbors
Are you ready for your daily dose of squee via Snapchat? #Memes #Snapchat #Dogs #Animals #Cute
                
            

            
            
Are you ready for your daily dose of squee via Snapchat? #Memes #Snapchat #Dogs #Animals #Cute

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    You Ready: gaming:
Indie Game Spotlight: Untitled Goose Game 
Oh, boy, do we have an extra super horrible Indie Game Spotlight exclusive for you today! We’re talking, of course, of Untitled Goose Game, a slapstick simulator, where you play a goose hassling a town full of people who would very much like you to stop hassling them, please. It feels a bit like playing the videogame version of an old cartoon, complete with reactive soundtrack. Everything that happens in the game is very low stakes (the goose doesn’t get involved in political scandals, or drive a car off a ramp etc.), but there’s a lot of room for comedic performance in doing things like stealing clothes off a washing line and dumping them in a pond.
The team at House House shares roles a lot, and so the game was predominantly designed collaboratively by four people. We chatted with Stuart Gillespie-Cook, who mostly works on animation. Also within House House is Jake Strasser, largely responsible for the design of levels and environments, Nico Disseldorp who does all the programming, and Michael McMaster who mostly works on art direction and UI. The iconic sound effects were made by Em Halberstadt, and Dan Golding designed the music. There’s also art from Kalonica Quigley and additional UI programming from Cherie Davidson. Stuart Gave us the lowdown on the curious title, the game mechanics, and dream crossovers. Read on!
What’s the story behind the title of the game?
This more or less happened by accident; at first, we just needed something to put on a video we were submitting to a festival. It’s become one of the best things about the game, and I’m so glad we stuck with it. I will say it’s a weird thing to explain when your very not-online hairdresser asks you “oh, what game are you working on?”  
How did the team come up with the animation style?
The whole visual style of the game is designed to be nice and clean, very readable and approachable. The animation specifically takes a lot of inspiration from slapstick and pantomime—with big, over the top reactions that are impossible to miss. We wanted to squeeze as much emotion as possible out of these people without facial expressions, so everything has to be evoked with body language. We also lean heavily on two dimensional, hand-drawn effects that are lifted from comics—lines to represent the direction of a honk, stars when someone hits their thumb with a hammer, etc.


Untitled Goose Game offers a unique take on the puzzle genre. What other mechanics can we expect?
Because it’s a game that’s largely about interacting with a bunch of people, the game borrows heavily from AI systems in stealth games. Playing with a character’s awareness of where the goose is, where they left their stuff, where that sound came from etc. is a big part of the comedy of the game. So, while it’s less restrictive than most stealth games, and there’s no real fail state (ie. if a character sees a goose, they’ll think “ah, there’s a goose” rather than “I’d better shoot and kill that spy”), those explicit behaviours that are so present in the stealth genre are really important in our goose game.
If you could have the goose cross over into any cinematic or game universe, what would it be and why?
It would be nice to see the goose chase Postman Pat over a hedgerow. That era of British children’s television has been a huge influence on the game. Otherwise, we’re always open to having the goose in Smash.
Are you ready to fulfill your wildest dreams of becoming a mischevious goose and harassing people? Of course you are! Check out the website to find out how you can get your hands wings on Untitled Goose Game! 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                You Ready: gaming:
Indie Game Spotlight: Untitled Goose Game 
Oh, boy, do we have an extra super horrible Indie Game Spotlight exclusive for you today! We’re talking, of course, of Untitled Goose Game, a slapstick simulator, where you play a goose hassling a town full of people who would very much like you to stop hassling them, please. It feels a bit like playing the videogame version of an old cartoon, complete with reactive soundtrack. Everything that happens in the game is very low stakes (the goose doesn’t get involved in political scandals, or drive a car off a ramp etc.), but there’s a lot of room for comedic performance in doing things like stealing clothes off a washing line and dumping them in a pond.
The team at House House shares roles a lot, and so the game was predominantly designed collaboratively by four people. We chatted with Stuart Gillespie-Cook, who mostly works on animation. Also within House House is Jake Strasser, largely responsible for the design of levels and environments, Nico Disseldorp who does all the programming, and Michael McMaster who mostly works on art direction and UI. The iconic sound effects were made by Em Halberstadt, and Dan Golding designed the music. There’s also art from Kalonica Quigley and additional UI programming from Cherie Davidson. Stuart Gave us the lowdown on the curious title, the game mechanics, and dream crossovers. Read on!
What’s the story behind the title of the game?
This more or less happened by accident; at first, we just needed something to put on a video we were submitting to a festival. It’s become one of the best things about the game, and I’m so glad we stuck with it. I will say it’s a weird thing to explain when your very not-online hairdresser asks you “oh, what game are you working on?”  
How did the team come up with the animation style?
The whole visual style of the game is designed to be nice and clean, very readable and approachable. The animation specifically takes a lot of inspiration from slapstick and pantomime—with big, over the top reactions that are impossible to miss. We wanted to squeeze as much emotion as possible out of these people without facial expressions, so everything has to be evoked with body language. We also lean heavily on two dimensional, hand-drawn effects that are lifted from comics—lines to represent the direction of a honk, stars when someone hits their thumb with a hammer, etc.


Untitled Goose Game offers a unique take on the puzzle genre. What other mechanics can we expect?
Because it’s a game that’s largely about interacting with a bunch of people, the game borrows heavily from AI systems in stealth games. Playing with a character’s awareness of where the goose is, where they left their stuff, where that sound came from etc. is a big part of the comedy of the game. So, while it’s less restrictive than most stealth games, and there’s no real fail state (ie. if a character sees a goose, they’ll think “ah, there’s a goose” rather than “I’d better shoot and kill that spy”), those explicit behaviours that are so present in the stealth genre are really important in our goose game.
If you could have the goose cross over into any cinematic or game universe, what would it be and why?
It would be nice to see the goose chase Postman Pat over a hedgerow. That era of British children’s television has been a huge influence on the game. Otherwise, we’re always open to having the goose in Smash.
Are you ready to fulfill your wildest dreams of becoming a mischevious goose and harassing people? Of course you are! Check out the website to find out how you can get your hands wings on Untitled Goose Game! 

                
            

            
            
gaming:
Indie Game Spotlight: Untitled Goose Game 
Oh, boy, do we have an extra super horrible Indie Game Spotlight exclusive for you tod...

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    You Ready: R 43% 20:41
 Sean
 4 days ago
 HOW YOU DOIBIPHY
 Hey Sean! X
 3 days ago
 Hey yourself
 You know it was only last week
 said to my pal;'if a girl opened
 with a Friends quote I'd probably
 just marry her
 Oh shit, I better buy a dress!
 ORMAGIE COM
 GIPHY
 Should probably go out once or
 twice first. Just to keep
 everyone's parents happy
 Meh, fuck em
 Alright I like your attitude
 Good job really if we're getting
 married
 Tell me things
 What things would you like? I
 have much wisdom
 Top 5 facts about Sean
 Fact 1.I'm up at 5am so I must
 be rude and ask to continue this
 in the morrow if that's ok
 Request granted. But i want a
 further 5 facts
 2 days ago
 Alright you ready?
 Born ready
 11 have been in a coma for 2
 days
 2. I once played an astronaut in a
 Universal Studios show
 3. I'll make you hate me via puns
 4.I coach football.
 5. I can make you laugh out loud
 wherever you are with one simple
 joke
 You go
 Excellent facts! Can you prove
 number 5 please?
 Oh shit I meant I have
 experienced a 2 day coma. Not
 the last 2 days
 Yes can. Why do flamingoes
 only lift one leg up when they
 stand?
 1. I've never broken a bone
 2. Even though I'm a strong
 independent woman. spiders
 and creepy crawlies in my house
 freak me tf out
 3. Got 4 sisters and an army of
 nieces and nephews
 4. My wit makes people either
 hate me or fall madly in love with
 me
 5. I'm an excellent drinking buddy
 Go on....
 Yes i gathered thats what you
 meant about the coma hahah
 If they lifted both up they'd fall
 Over
 Ok that was pretty funny
 Considering proved my number
 5,l'd like you to do the same
 Deal. Name the place and time
 Yesterday
He got me there!
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                You Ready: R 43% 20:41
 Sean
 4 days ago
 HOW YOU DOIBIPHY
 Hey Sean! X
 3 days ago
 Hey yourself
 You know it was only last week
 said to my pal;'if a girl opened
 with a Friends quote I'd probably
 just marry her
 Oh shit, I better buy a dress!
 ORMAGIE COM
 GIPHY
 Should probably go out once or
 twice first. Just to keep
 everyone's parents happy
 Meh, fuck em
 Alright I like your attitude
 Good job really if we're getting
 married
 Tell me things
 What things would you like? I
 have much wisdom
 Top 5 facts about Sean
 Fact 1.I'm up at 5am so I must
 be rude and ask to continue this
 in the morrow if that's ok
 Request granted. But i want a
 further 5 facts
 2 days ago
 Alright you ready?
 Born ready
 11 have been in a coma for 2
 days
 2. I once played an astronaut in a
 Universal Studios show
 3. I'll make you hate me via puns
 4.I coach football.
 5. I can make you laugh out loud
 wherever you are with one simple
 joke
 You go
 Excellent facts! Can you prove
 number 5 please?
 Oh shit I meant I have
 experienced a 2 day coma. Not
 the last 2 days
 Yes can. Why do flamingoes
 only lift one leg up when they
 stand?
 1. I've never broken a bone
 2. Even though I'm a strong
 independent woman. spiders
 and creepy crawlies in my house
 freak me tf out
 3. Got 4 sisters and an army of
 nieces and nephews
 4. My wit makes people either
 hate me or fall madly in love with
 me
 5. I'm an excellent drinking buddy
 Go on....
 Yes i gathered thats what you
 meant about the coma hahah
 If they lifted both up they'd fall
 Over
 Ok that was pretty funny
 Considering proved my number
 5,l'd like you to do the same
 Deal. Name the place and time
 Yesterday
He got me there!
                
            

            
            
He got me there!

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    


    

        
        
    




                
            
        
        

            







    You Ready: Insomnia Adventures
 u/Oceanundertow
 Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
 Get startled by phone ringing
 It's one of my players
 Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
 Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a
 favor?"
 OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
 Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
 Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick
 story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the
 recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my
 laptop at the office so I can't play them."
 NaniTheFuck.mp3
 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?"
 Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC
 acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess
 Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler."
 Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
 Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to
 her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker."
 Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon."
 Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"
 I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
 Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS
 ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went
 deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?"
 Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
 I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story
 over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she
 eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and
 says he'll see me on game night.
 Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable
 for once. I should have thanked him
 I am the dumb dumb mister.
positive-memes:Bed time stories
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                You Ready: Insomnia Adventures
 u/Oceanundertow
 Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
 Get startled by phone ringing
 It's one of my players
 Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
 Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a
 favor?"
 OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
 Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
 Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick
 story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the
 recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my
 laptop at the office so I can't play them."
 NaniTheFuck.mp3
 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?"
 Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC
 acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess
 Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler."
 Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
 Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to
 her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker."
 Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon."
 Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"
 I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
 Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS
 ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went
 deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?"
 Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
 I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story
 over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she
 eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and
 says he'll see me on game night.
 Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable
 for once. I should have thanked him
 I am the dumb dumb mister.
positive-memes:Bed time stories
                
            

            
            
positive-memes:Bed time stories

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    You Ready: Insomnia Adventures
 u/Oceanundertow
 Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
 Get startled by phone ringing
 It's one of my players
 Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
 Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a
 favor?"
 OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
 Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
 Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick
 story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the
 recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my
 laptop at the office so I can't play them.
 NaniTheFuck.mp3
 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?
 Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC
 acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess
 Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler."
 Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
 Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to
 her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker."
 Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon."
 Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"
 I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
 Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS
 ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went
 deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?
 Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
 I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story
 over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she
 eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and
 says he'll see me on game night.
 Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable
 for once. I should have thanked him
 I am the dumb dumb mister
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                You Ready: Insomnia Adventures
 u/Oceanundertow
 Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
 Get startled by phone ringing
 It's one of my players
 Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
 Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a
 favor?"
 OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
 Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
 Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick
 story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the
 recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my
 laptop at the office so I can't play them.
 NaniTheFuck.mp3
 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?
 Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC
 acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess
 Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler."
 Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
 Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to
 her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker."
 Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon."
 Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"
 I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
 Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS
 ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went
 deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?
 Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
 I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story
 over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she
 eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and
 says he'll see me on game night.
 Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable
 for once. I should have thanked him
 I am the dumb dumb mister
                
            

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            






        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    You Ready: Insomnia Adventures
 u/Oceanundertow
 Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
 Get startled by phone ringing
 It's one of my players
 Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
 Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a
 favor?"
 OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
 Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
 Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick
 story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the
 recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my
 laptop at the office so I can't play them."
 NaniTheFuck.mp3
 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?"
 Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC
 acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess
 Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler."
 Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
 Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to
 her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker."
 Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon."
 Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"
 I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
 Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS
 ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went
 deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?"
 Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
 I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story
 over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she
 eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and
 says he'll see me on game night.
 Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable
 for once. I should have thanked him
 I am the dumb dumb mister.
Bed time stories
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                You Ready: Insomnia Adventures
 u/Oceanundertow
 Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago
 Get startled by phone ringing
 It's one of my players
 Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"
 Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a
 favor?"
 OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif
 Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot."
 Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick
 story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the
 recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my
 laptop at the office so I can't play them."
 NaniTheFuck.mp3
 Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?"
 Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC
 acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister. Guess
 Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler."
 Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure."
 Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to
 her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker."
 Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon."
 Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"
 I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
 Me: "You ready for a story about...(DM IMPROV SKILLS
 ENGAGE)..the time your daddy and his friends went
 deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?"
 Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)
 I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story
 over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she
 eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and
 says he'll see me on game night.
 Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable
 for once. I should have thanked him
 I am the dumb dumb mister.
Bed time stories
                
            

            
            
Bed time stories

            
            
        

    



        

            
                
                    
                    
                
            
        
        

            







    You Ready: Sat, Jun 22, 18:36
 Hello traveller, I am your guide. Are you
 ready to begin your quest?
 Hello stranger, what do I need to do,
 to complete your request.
 You have to recover a long time
 lost manuscript held by a famous
 necromancer. Your journey begins in a
 forest. The left of you is a mountain with
 a large boulder blocking it's entrance,
 in front of you is an ancient graveyard.
 Some of the greatest heroes of the
 realm rest there
 I would like to investigate the grave-
 yard of it looks chill or haunted. Not
 strong enough to push that boulder
 As you enter the graveyard you notice
 old tombstones crumbling, scribed in
 language too ancient to be known by
 any living creature. While searching
 around you find a crypt, the front door
 has been knocked open, you can hear
 a soft gust of wind coming from inside.
 I copy the ancient text, best as
 possible. I use 'produce flame' when I
 enter the crypt.
 As you go in the light from your spell
 fills the room, you notice the coffins that
 adorn the walls and a spiral staircase
 that leads further down, at the bottom
 of it lies a large room, broken pillars,
 and a statue of Sild, the Warlock. A very
 powerful wizard from centuries past.
 Further away, with barely any light
 around it, you see a creature in a black
 robe facing away, as it ignores you on
 purpouse. There's a corpse on an alter
 in front of it, and it's hands deep inside
 it
 As I enter the room I go "excuuuuuse
 me, but it's not nice to sacrifice
 people" en hold my flame ready to
 attack if he would attack me...
 The creature in black turns annoyed
 by your interference, you see a
 beetle crawl out of it's eye socket, it's
 deformed face makes your stomach
 sick, as you think that eating all those
 fries before entering a graveyard was
 a bad idea. A purple light starts forming
 as he moves his hands together
 With a quick look around you notice a
 large floating orb 3 meters above the
 creature's head. You remember the
 old legend of Sild's orb, which he used
 teleport anywhere in the world.
 Nasty! God damn it those fries! I shoot
 my flame to the orb so the bug guy
 can't escape. And pull out my scimitar
 ready to attack
 As your flame hits, the orb shatters into
 what seems to be glass spikes, flying
 everywhere, further damaging the
 room. Some hit the creature, tearing
 his black robes just to reveal pieces of
 rotting flesh. The stench of death takes
 over the room, you can't hold those
 fries anymore, as you make an effort
 to not puke onto your brand new heels
 -and you hear your own voice in your
 head WHY WOULD YOU GO INTO A
 GRAVEYARD USING HEELS WOMAN ?
 As you get distracted, the creature
 fires his spell, you quickly block it with
 your scimitar, but it flies away from
 your hand. You are disarmed and the
 creature starts running in your direction
 "I DON'T I WANTED SOMETHING
 DIFFERENT THEN THE USUAL
 SNEAKERS as I replied to my own
 question. I take them of hold them
 as a weapon ready to defend myself
 against the ugly bug dude. And try to
 figure out if I can back to my scimitar.
 As you dual-wield your brand new
 puke-free heels you notice a two fast
 moving shadows moving behind the
 creature. Desperation starts to hit as
 you are outnumbered and your scimitar
 is nowhere to be seen, suddenly the
 shadows jump onto the creatures head
 and start attacking him. IT'S YOUR
 FAMILIARS, your thank yourself for
 installing that catdoor years ago.
 The creature loses balance just as it
 reaches you, slipping and faceplanting
 your puddle fries and cola that rested
 on the floor.
 You plunge it's head with both heels. It
 explodes and the creature slowly starts
 turning into ashes... You give a well
 deserved pet to them. The comforting
 purring sounds fills the room, you feel
 safe now. One of your familiars starts
 digging into the ash pile, as he found
 something of value there.
 IT'S A FORTUNE COOKIE!
 I go like "Oooh cookie!" I break it open
 and eat the cookie while I read. And
 also keep petting them, like a good
 rub under the chin.
 You slowly chew the cookie, the slight
 chocolate taste is well welcome at this
 moment, unravel the note, and it says
 , hit me up for fries &
 movies sometime.
 Sept
Her profile said she was into RPGs
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                You Ready: Sat, Jun 22, 18:36
 Hello traveller, I am your guide. Are you
 ready to begin your quest?
 Hello stranger, what do I need to do,
 to complete your request.
 You have to recover a long time
 lost manuscript held by a famous
 necromancer. Your journey begins in a
 forest. The left of you is a mountain with
 a large boulder blocking it's entrance,
 in front of you is an ancient graveyard.
 Some of the greatest heroes of the
 realm rest there
 I would like to investigate the grave-
 yard of it looks chill or haunted. Not
 strong enough to push that boulder
 As you enter the graveyard you notice
 old tombstones crumbling, scribed in
 language too ancient to be known by
 any living creature. While searching
 around you find a crypt, the front door
 has been knocked open, you can hear
 a soft gust of wind coming from inside.
 I copy the ancient text, best as
 possible. I use 'produce flame' when I
 enter the crypt.
 As you go in the light from your spell
 fills the room, you notice the coffins that
 adorn the walls and a spiral staircase
 that leads further down, at the bottom
 of it lies a large room, broken pillars,
 and a statue of Sild, the Warlock. A very
 powerful wizard from centuries past.
 Further away, with barely any light
 around it, you see a creature in a black
 robe facing away, as it ignores you on
 purpouse. There's a corpse on an alter
 in front of it, and it's hands deep inside
 it
 As I enter the room I go "excuuuuuse
 me, but it's not nice to sacrifice
 people" en hold my flame ready to
 attack if he would attack me...
 The creature in black turns annoyed
 by your interference, you see a
 beetle crawl out of it's eye socket, it's
 deformed face makes your stomach
 sick, as you think that eating all those
 fries before entering a graveyard was
 a bad idea. A purple light starts forming
 as he moves his hands together
 With a quick look around you notice a
 large floating orb 3 meters above the
 creature's head. You remember the
 old legend of Sild's orb, which he used
 teleport anywhere in the world.
 Nasty! God damn it those fries! I shoot
 my flame to the orb so the bug guy
 can't escape. And pull out my scimitar
 ready to attack
 As your flame hits, the orb shatters into
 what seems to be glass spikes, flying
 everywhere, further damaging the
 room. Some hit the creature, tearing
 his black robes just to reveal pieces of
 rotting flesh. The stench of death takes
 over the room, you can't hold those
 fries anymore, as you make an effort
 to not puke onto your brand new heels
 -and you hear your own voice in your
 head WHY WOULD YOU GO INTO A
 GRAVEYARD USING HEELS WOMAN ?
 As you get distracted, the creature
 fires his spell, you quickly block it with
 your scimitar, but it flies away from
 your hand. You are disarmed and the
 creature starts running in your direction
 "I DON'T I WANTED SOMETHING
 DIFFERENT THEN THE USUAL
 SNEAKERS as I replied to my own
 question. I take them of hold them
 as a weapon ready to defend myself
 against the ugly bug dude. And try to
 figure out if I can back to my scimitar.
 As you dual-wield your brand new
 puke-free heels you notice a two fast
 moving shadows moving behind the
 creature. Desperation starts to hit as
 you are outnumbered and your scimitar
 is nowhere to be seen, suddenly the
 shadows jump onto the creatures head
 and start attacking him. IT'S YOUR
 FAMILIARS, your thank yourself for
 installing that catdoor years ago.
 The creature loses balance just as it
 reaches you, slipping and faceplanting
 your puddle fries and cola that rested
 on the floor.
 You plunge it's head with both heels. It
 explodes and the creature slowly starts
 turning into ashes... You give a well
 deserved pet to them. The comforting
 purring sounds fills the room, you feel
 safe now. One of your familiars starts
 digging into the ash pile, as he found
 something of value there.
 IT'S A FORTUNE COOKIE!
 I go like "Oooh cookie!" I break it open
 and eat the cookie while I read. And
 also keep petting them, like a good
 rub under the chin.
 You slowly chew the cookie, the slight
 chocolate taste is well welcome at this
 moment, unravel the note, and it says
 , hit me up for fries &
 movies sometime.
 Sept
Her profile said she was into RPGs
                
            

            
            
Her profile said she was into RPGs